30-10-2007, 02:52pm #1
OK, don't want to start a bunfight but I am interested in other parent's opinions on giving their children sweets/ chocolate after what I saw at the weekend.
We went to my Godson's 1st birthday party and his grandmother admitted to his mother that she has given him chocolate. My friend was surprised and I think a bit mad but couldn't really say anything in the room full of people. But then she, his other grandparents and his dad gave him some more chocolate cake and he kept having little bits. Another little girl at the party, who is 11 months old had a whole slice of chocolate cake too.
Now, I don't want to be a mean Mummy but I am very adamant that Jake will not be getting any sweets or chocolate for a couple of years yet - even if it is his party! I am prepared to make myself very clear to the grandparents and hope I can stick to my guns.
What age do you think is Ok to start giving treats? Am I a mean Mummy for being strict?
Interested to hear your thoughts.
Lou x x x
30-10-2007, 02:54pm #2
I was adament I wouldn't give Isabel any, but she first had some when she was about 19months old I think. She has some every now and again, maybe once a week but its normally about half a pack of Buttons or something, no more than that.
She did have cake when she was 1, but it was her birfday and we all deserve cake on our birfdays.
30-10-2007, 02:57pm #3
Personally I think it's a bit mean mummy (that's not me saying you are wrong, but it's not what I do)
Maisie has chocolate and cake if I am having some. It's not fair for her to sit there with a grape whilst I stuff cake down my face. But this is usually only when we go out to eat - either for a coffee and cake in a cafe or when we go out for lunch. Maisie and I usually share a pudding on these occasions.
30-10-2007, 02:57pm #4
I was quite strict with Claire although I did let her eat what she wanted at her 1st birthday - I personally think its just a one off event. I started getting abit more chilled out by the time Claire was 2. As a result Claire usually has some form of treat like chocolate or cake a couple of times a week and Amy does too and has done really since she was around 1.
I just make sure they eat plenty of good wholesome food during mealtimes and fruit at snack times. So the treats they get are part of the bigger picture and not all they eat. IYSWIM.
30-10-2007, 02:58pm #5
Honestly a couple of years is a bit optimistic....
dd1 never had any choc til over 1, still only drinks water (not fruit shoots etc) and doesn't have sweets as she doesn't like them.
dd2 is 16 months, she has had chocolate, and does have cake but on a very occassional basis.
TBH I think as they both have a very healthy diet the odd bit of everything is fine, there is a lot of sugar which is bad for teeth in EG raisins so the odd bit of very good chocolate and brushed teeth afterwards is, IMO fine.
I know that a stream of fruit juice, coke and sweets is not good - as illustrated by my friend's 4 year old who has had two fillings but IMO though I wouldn't have let an 11 month old have a whole slice of cake in all honesty I am not shocked by what your godson ate and I think forbidden fruit is always more tempting so I try and have a relaxed attitude about sweets and chocs.
30-10-2007, 02:59pm #6
30-10-2007, 03:00pm #7
i didnt want E to have sweets/cake/choc etc but found it difficult as DH has a diff opinion on it than me as do all his family who constantly go on about it. so we tend to give her a tiny bit of some things if were having it (i dont tho) but she has never had chocolate. but i do feel that whatever your take on it its important not to make a massive deal out of it so that food doesnt become a bit issue.
30-10-2007, 03:11pm #8
She had some cake on her 1st birthday, and she had the chocolate buttons from a party bag at her mates 2nd birthday. I rarely buy chocolate because I am an addict so what is not in the house can't get eaten by anyone!
I know that when she goes to nursery it will be difficult to control what goes in her mouth so I am getting more relaxed about it. I just don't see that she "needs" chocolate regularly. It has caused me nothing but problems and expensive dental bills and I worry that it will turn her into a demon/hyperactive kid tbh.You must give your children 2 things in life: Roots and wings
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~Harold Hulbert
Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. ~Neil Postman, The Disappearance of Childhood (introduction), 1982
When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell. That is why we dread children, even if we love them, they show us the state of our decay. ~Brian Aldiss
30-10-2007, 03:17pm #9
I don't have children myself (and freely admit my views may change if and when I do) but my thoughts at the moment are that a treat now and again isn't going to 'ruin' a child, and that chocolate/other 'junk' items can be given as part of a balanced diet, and are shown to be something to have in moderation rather than something that is forbidden and totally awful.
However, ask me this question when I'm faced with a toddler who won't eat anything healthy because it wants chocolate, and I'd probably give an entirely different answer
Essentially, I think there are worse things in the world for a child to experience Clearly if a child is eating lots of crap on a regular basis then there are causes for concern, but a little bit of crap now and again doesn't do a huge amount of harm surely?
30-10-2007, 03:24pm #10
Cliona has tried chocolate, cake and biscuits etc, purely because it wasnt worth the argument with the inlaws and they dont see the harm.
I dont mind the fact that she has tried these things because I dont actually buy these things on a regular basis, and when they are in the house, theyr a treat and I dont mind her having a little bit.
She probably has chocolate and cakes once a month, at someones birthday, or if i have a craving.
Biscuits, one every couple of weeks, but thats mainly my inlaws and we feed her well the rest of the time.
I got jittery because she had her first lolly pop on sunday. I didnt like her having it so shes not having one again