September 07 Mummies

**Firefly** · 22-09-2007, 08:34pm

Cheeky biscuit, have lots and lots of hugs from me. Thinking of you lots xxxxx

FWIW, I don't think I'd go in for the meeting if it were me. You've got enough to deal with at the moment with a newborn baby, and going in for the meeting is addtional stress, especially if it's bad news. Whereas a phone call is a bit easier to cope with in terms of being able to have a blub/rant/whatever makes you feel better straight away xxxx

**NoTimer** · 22-09-2007, 09:55pm

Poor you Cheeky. I agree with FF though, going in is only going to cause more stress (sorting out the practicalities of childcare etc) and the news isn't going to change if you're there or not, is it? Let them come to you with it. I really hope you feel better soon - remember the weepiness is all hormonal and totally normal. I keep feeling really low and snappy - my best friend was supposed to come round at 3 this afternoon and didn't turn up til nearly 7, by which time I was ready to kill her, despite the fact she'd made a 2 hour journey to see me. She doesn't have kids though, and just didn't understand.

Anyway, for those of you who knew, I had mastitis

. I'm pleased to say that the antibiotics have kicked in really quickly (think we nipped

it in the bud with early diagnosis) so the feeding is easier, but I have been subjected to bedrest for the past 3 days. I HATE not being able to run around after DD1. I feel like I haven't seen her this week, as she's been palmed off to Grannie's house during the day. DD2 Elsie, is proving to be an absolute angel - sleeping well and letting me rest, which has been essential to my recovery. Think I've still got a bit of a temperature, so off to bed now, but hopefully back on form tomorrow.

Hope everyone is enjoying their baby.... xx

**Curlie Sue** · 23-09-2007, 09:23am

CB -

Hope you feel better soon, I too agree with everyone that you shouldnt go in for the meeting, esp if you are feeling emotional too. Thanks for reasurring me re Izzy she has been a little better, she is fine with Jess and is all over her it was just us and wants to be picked up all the time.

FF - How are you feeling - any twinges? Eat some Pineapple - I ate some fresh pineapple the week leading up to having Jess as I really wanted to go early before my sister came over from Hong Kong - which is on Wedneday and I SOOOOO cant wait I miss her so much.

NT - Sorry to hear you have mastitis, you put your feet up and rest.

Hope Parkejm & DG are doing OK too.

**Mad Madam Mim** · 23-09-2007, 09:56am

Just saying hello, hope you are all well.

CB sorry you feel so bad.

OK I'm not in the best of moods so I debated posting here or not or just not saying becasue I don't usually post like this. So this is going to be very moany

Our feeding has gone downhill, becasue Seb is getting the bottle as well he has totally given up on the boob and will even sometimes arch his back and cry so I feel like I'm forcing him - its not wind either. So we are only on 2 half BF a day and I think that will go too. I feel like sh*t about it. I couldn't feed D and now I can't feed Seb so I just feel like there is something wrong with me.

I've had a terrible stomach infection for over a week and a half, had doctors out twice, can't keep anything down and OH and I have had a massive row about something serious and I nearly left, it is getting better now though.

Doctor wants me back on anti-depressants

so I'm feeling like a complete failure really and i wish I was enjoying my baby more, but I'm not.

He's beautiful and I adore him I just wish i wasn't such a rubbish mother.

So I hope you are all doing better and I hope things pick up for me in the next week.

In the hospital Seb failed a hearing test so we have to have a further test on Tuesday at the hospital (takes 3 hours!!!! as he has to be asleep) so wish us luck for that please.

hugs to all the ladies and babies and our remaining bump xxx

**Firefly** · 23-09-2007, 11:04am

MMM, so sorry to hear things are a bit rough at the moment for you.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with you - you've managed to b/f your baby for some time now - and especially considering he was prem, and the implications for that on his sucking reflexes, it's an incredible achievement, and you should be proud, not down on yourself.

If the Doctor feels you'd benefit from ADs, there's no shame in taking them. ADs do NOT = failure. When I've needed them (and tbh, I anticipate needing them again in the next 12 months), I tell myself that they're like a plaster cast on a broken leg - they allow your mind the support it needs to heal and get better. If they give you the support to enable you to feel you're enjoying your baby more, then they're totally worth it. Please don't feel that you're a 'rubbish mother'. All your posts about the things you do wtih your kids make me aspire to be like you - you put the kids first and do activities with them, and often get out the house, even when you're feeling rubbish. I'm not 100% sure I'd have the discpline to be as selfless as you, although it's certainly something I'll be aiming for.

I'm sure the hearing test will just be a formality. Lots of children at the nursery I worked at had failed hearing tests, but none of them actually had hearing problems at all.

Finally, have a big

from me. I'm pleased you felt able to share how you're feeling xxxxxxx

**Mad Madam Mim** · 23-09-2007, 01:45pm

Thanks FF that was a lovely post

. I think being so ill for so long in addition to the traditional sleep deprivation has made it all worse.

I will go back on the Ads it just feels like I've been on them for an age (well it has been years now pfft tut!)

**cheeky_biscuit** · 23-09-2007, 07:06pm

NT glad to hear your mastitis is clearing up, that's fab that you can carry on feeding.
MMM huge hugs to you

. they mentioned when they did Hollys test that c-section babies are often more mucousy and likely to fail the test 1st time round, then go on to pass successfully (Holly wasn't too mucousy, but perhaps little Seb was?)
sorry I need to go and sort Holly out.
thanks for the hugs will try to post properly soon

**WoollyNewty** · 23-09-2007, 07:21pm

He's beautiful and I adore him I just wish i wasn't such a rubbish mother.

MMM - I have to fly now and bath my own pair but that brought tears to my eyes. Please don't EVER think that. You are so far from a 'rubbish' mother it is untrue. You have been through a huge amount, you are physically incredibly drained and exhausted and you are still managing to do what needs to be done. You have more strength and courage than you give yourself credit for.

When Alex was born I considered myself a truely terrible mother - an unatural and evil woman - but it wasn't true, it was my mind making me see everything as black and dark. Now I can look back and see it all rationally I can understand I wasn't what I thought I was (if that makes sense!) but when you are feeling that way it is so so hard. Apart from all that I think it's normal for new mums to have random moments of 'I can't do this' or 'they deserve better than me'. The night I came out of hospital I phoned my best friend and randomly burst into tears telling her that I didn't deserve to have William (for no apparent reason!) and another night I burst into tears on my mum and begged her to tell me I was a good mother (once again, I'm not sure why!?). Only you know if ADs are the right way to go but as firefly said there is no shame in needing them as a crutch for a while in times of great stress. Before I had William all the medical team said that I shouldn't take them 'just in case' but when he was born and I had all the drama of almost croaking it

and was so ill and weak my GP decided that it was best that I was put on them as a precautionary measure because they were so concerned about me 'crashing' after such an ordeal. I said that's fine by me - even if I don't need them I'd rather feel I'd done all I can to not go back to that awful place again (plus it means I get a nice chat with my GP once a month about how I'm feeling).

Hang on in there - you are doing a fantastic job despite what life has thrown at you and your children are very lucky indeed to have you.

**cheeky_biscuit** · 23-09-2007, 08:03pm

Woolly what a lovely post. I wish I could get the words out - MMM you know your not a terrible mother,

, well, we know you're not. and you've told me enough times not to feel bad about the feeding, I'm in awe of you for managing to get this far and 2 feeds a day is more than a lot of people do at this stage. It's still early days and if you need the ADs, then there's no shame in that - it's just a chemical thing, if you had a headache you'd take paracetomol - its no different.

, I do sometimes wish the sept. mums thread was a real place where we could meet, cry & hug! and then feel better. and don't forget you've been ill (have you tried those probiotic drinks for your tummy they really help when recovering from a nasty bug) - a week and a half is a long time wiht a tummy bug.
I've felt a bit better today but still could cry!!! I really hope it passes soon.
thanks for the hugs. I'm not sure how I feel about work - half of me thinks the redundancy payout would nearly half our mortgage and that would be good but then part of me thinks I'd go mad without work and it'd be hard to get a new job at that level (Inot that i'm a high flier, just not at the bottom iyswim) and my part time hours. I'm guessing they'll offer redundancy accros the department but say loose half the jobs, maybe I shouldn't even try to guess!
FF - hope your LO is in your arms soon.

**Mad Madam Mim** · 23-09-2007, 08:19pm

Woolly and CB your words made me cry a bit (unsuprising since I cry at the drop of a hat at the moment

) but seriously, they were really lovely thank you so much. I know you had such a tough time with Alex Woolly and I appreciate you posting to me now about it, thank you

CB I know I keep telling you not to worry about the feeding

we should both seriously make an effort (hard though - I actually hid the formula box under stuff in my shopping trolly on purpose today

) not sure what that was meant to achieve and I can't believe I'm telling you my madness. Really though Dylan was formula fed and it is true you couldn't find a more healthy boy. Still ..... it's an emotional minefield feeding your children.

I'll try the probiotics because I still have this damn infection, I still can't keep anything down. I'm drinking that vile electrolade and have this peculiar thing for nausea as well as antibiotics. They think it is the same infection which I had when I went into labour early and Seb caught too.

I wish we could meet up for real too. It would be so nice to just talk with the babies.

CB it's a toughie about work, I'll be honest and say that getting pregnant with Seb just as I was looking for more work (left my job to move here with OH's new job) really floored me. I cna't afford to go back now and it's left me a bit lost. I'm not sure I could even get the same kind of work again

so it is a serious thing t think about. You'll have to see what they say. Are you going to go in to them or wait to speak to your boss alone?

Thanks so much again for all the kind words. x