do you think you are a strict parent?

**bisy backson** · 28-06-2007, 01:29pm

i was pondering this yesterday after i got all uptight because mr b let splashy watch a dvd before bed time. (it should have been milk and a story like it always is. tut

)

then i was thinking am i too strict? or does that class as sticking to a routine

i mean i make him clean his teeth twice a day and that's non negotiable even if he's screaming blue murder or refusing to open his mouth

i shut him in his bedroom at 7pm come hell or high water (well i close the stairgate and leave him to it - door's open & night light on though), i refuse to let go of things i'm giving him until he says thank you etc etc etc

i'm sounding like a dragonlady mother here

but i'm sure we do have fun too.....

i just seem to have a mantra in my brain that goes 'children need boundaries, children need boundariles'

do you think you're strict or not?

bbxx

**Abbie** · 28-06-2007, 01:35pm

I am fairly strict but I do tend to pick my battles.

I think that routines and boundaries are very important and I'm always very strict about mealtimes and bedtimes

Mealtimes we ALWAYS sit at the table, no pudding until meal has been eaten (or a fair stab at it at least), no leaving the table until the meal is finished, etc, etc

Bedtimes we always begin at 7:00 - bathtime every other night, pyjamas, supper, teeth, story in bed, lights out. They're not allowed to get up once they've gone to bed, no TV/DVD watching in bed

I'm quite strict about manners and insist on please and thank you

Other stuff I'm not so strict about, I pick my battles and don't always enforce things if they don't really matter.

**Roo** · 28-06-2007, 01:36pm

I do agree they need boundaries, and consistency. That said, Laura's bedtime does slip occasionally and we don't *always* worry about thankyou, etc (I do if it's someone else doing the giving). I don't know. It's such a personal thing. I know MIL thinks I'm fairly evil as I won't let Laura eat crisps/chocolate all day, every day (she has enough, trust me!). I'm definitely stricter than hubby - but that backfires on him sometimes as Laura has him wrapped round her little finger and he's starting to realise it!

I can't think of any 'immovable' rules as such, but if I say something along the lines of 'you can't do/have XYZ until ABC', then THAT IS IT - non-negotiable

She can kick and scream and tell me she doesn't like me very much, but I will not back down once I've said something like that.

**Stephi103** · 28-06-2007, 01:39pm

I am with some things and not with others!

I do all of what you said and meal times I have been strict with too.

Sometimes I feel like I am too strict with things and should relax a bit!!

**Azana** · 28-06-2007, 01:43pm

Fairly - but on a confident day I have learned sometimes to throw the rule book out of the window from time to time! Pretty laid back about routines but I DO like them both in bed by 7

**Damsella** · 28-06-2007, 01:46pm

I'm a mixture - always expect Please and Thank You, and some things are non-negotiable. The bedtime routine is set in stone, but the time moves according to how late I want her to sleep the next day

But I'm a softy sometimes as well

But not on things that impact on other people, like manners or making a noise when we're out.

**popinjay1** · 28-06-2007, 01:48pm

I think I am strict on manners and the girls behaviour when we are out and about. I might be too strict on some stuff at home too and really do need to pick my battles like Abbie has said. I should maybe loosen up sometimes to make all our lives a little easier.

**Candlelight** · 28-06-2007, 01:48pm

I have the things I stick to such as bed at 7pm (unless we are out or on holiday). Saying his pleases and thank yous, and eating etc

But I do pick my battles, and think he is only a child after all

He knows when I mean no though, and as a result, I do believe I have a really well behaved little boy

He rarely tantrums, and is very well behaved when we're out and about.

He knows he can have fun with me, and we can mess about...but with bed etc he knows after a fun story, I mean business

**Jubjub** · 28-06-2007, 01:48pm

We're strict, but not harsh.

It's sometimes difficult to find the balance between enforcing rules and letting fun take over, but we do our best.

William is a happy little child. He knows where he stands, likes to make us happy and, I think, feels secure in his little routines and rules.

**elliesha** · 28-06-2007, 01:51pm

I dont think im strict, but im defo not a push over

Girls bedtime is 6, but they are allowed 1 dvd on, DD2 never lasts the dvd

but DD1 does

its always tea at 5pm,at the table, then i wash and put away the dishes while the girls sort the table out, then its bath for the 3 of them into their pjs and then into bed for 6.

They brush their teeth twice a day.

I NEVER clean their room, its their responsibilty, obviously i hoover and polish, but I DO NOT clean it

they know that if their room is a mess then they dont go out to play

They say please and thank you or they get nothing, and also ATM im trying to inforce PARDON as E has a thing for saying 'what' even if shes heard us

but im sure thats age

The girls also make their beds in the morning once they are dressed and washed, they dont do a great job, but they have a go which is

once they are in school and nursery and im doing my daily tidy up, i will go in their room and make it properly

They are not allowed sweets/biscuits/ whatever unless they have eaten their tea, they usually have a little treat b4 bed

as long as they have been good.

But all in all, i take it daily and if they are well behaved then they get treats but if they are naughty then they miss out

So i wouldnt say i was strict but i do like the girls to have boundaries and manners.