Baby/Toddler Group Etiquette?

[Chickpea]

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who says she has NO qualms about ticking off another child if they take toys off her LO, and will even mention it to the mother (if they're not looking for eg) if they hit her child etc.

I was a bit about this - mainly b'cos I'm a complete wimp, and would be terrified that I'd be shouted at or something.

But I was watching E this morning at our toddler group, and bless her she's so passive, she's ALWAYS having her toys taken/being pushed around it does make me a bit It got to the point with one girl that she took E's toys so much, that when she came back a bit later on, E just handed all her toys to her immediately

So - what would/do you do? Do you keep quiet and then go home and then rant on to DH about 'that horrid little girl/boy at toddler group' (like me) or do you pipe up and say something?

[Miss Frosty]

Tbh, I wouldn't normally say anything unless the child in question actually hit Blair or Robbie and then I would go and speak to them / and or parents. I let the boys sort it out for themselves so to speak , but I do draw the line if either of them get hurt.

Having said that both my boys are so laid back that they would just hand over a toy rather than it cause a fuss . They keep the fighting until it is just the two of them and manage to pick a time when mummy is busy .

[Booh]

I will tell the child off, but in a nice way, such as 'please don't do X, or X was playing with that first why don't you play with Y'

If needs be I will tell the parent, there is one little boy who knocked three tiny sitting babies over, I told him off (he cried) so I told his mum!

[Jubjub]

It depends on the situation. If it's just taking a toy from him with no struggle, I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

If a child hurts or is aggressive to William to get a toy, I will tell them to wait their turn, and if the mother hasn't noticed, I'll say 'Your LO has just hit/pushed William. Thought you'd like to know, I know I do when William's getting stroppy'.

I don't get angry with them, but make it clear to the child that they're not to do it, and let the mother know the child is going a step too far. I wouldn't like to think William was being unfriendly to other children without anyone alerting me to it.

It's the done thing in the groups we go to. We know they all do it from time to time, so there's no embarrassment.

[popinjay1]

I do say something if another child hits/pushes Claire/Amy. The other week I took Amy to a toddler group and she was pushed down the slide, pushed over and then kicked off the trampoline by 3 different kids. I said something to the other kid but the parent was over really quickly anyway and did discipline their child appropriately.

If a child was CONSTANTLY taking toys off my child then I might have to say something. You know like going over and saying 'lets share' and the give the other kid something else but its never happened really or iff it has the parent of the other child has stepped in.

On the reverse side I would be OK with another parent telling my child not to do something if she did similar but tbh I rarely take my eyes off them when we are playgroups because I am paranoid of them being seen as that brat at playgroup.

[Aurora]

I wouldn't say anything about taking the toys but I would probably say something if a child pushed or hit Jackson - I would just say 'No' to the child and then let the mother know.
It hard to know what to do really. When Jackson was young he was often hit and had his toys taken from him and I used to get a little over it.
Then within a few months he became one of the older children there and started to take toys and occasionally hit the others (he went through a hitting phase it was really )
The difference is I always had an eye on him so that if he did steal/hit I was there to say no to him. I get angry with the mums that dont watch their children at playgroup and just natter natter natter and let the other mums do the work

[Cheetara]

I get angry with the mums that dont watch their children at playgroup and just natter natter natter and let the other mums do the work

Absolutely, me too! I don't like confrontation and I don't really feel it's my place to tell another child off or even to tell a parent that their child has done something wrong. They should be watching what their children are doing IMO.

[Chickpea]

Absolutely, me too! I don't like confrontation and I don't really feel it's my place to tell another child off or even to tell a parent that their child has done something wrong. They should be watching what their children are doing IMO.

ditto!

We've got one mum at our group who is constantly nipping out for a fag, and her child even though she's quite young knows full well that this is the BEST time to really play up, and it does make me a bit TBH

[donna-j]

For just taking toys when they are a toddler, no I wouldn't say anything.

At soft play when slightly bigger kids (age 3-5 maybe) and being aggressive or just little buggers in general, then yes I am like the soft play police. If their parents are not paying enough attention to tell them off for hitting, kicking etc then I will. Particularly if it's my child they attack.

[Franny]

I might say something to the child and don't mind if other parents tell R off if I don't see, although I find it embarrassing when I get wind of it.

I wouldn't go running to the parent, though. If I've already told the child off, it's dealt with as far as I'm concerned and I'd be mortified if someone ticked off R and then said something along the lines of 'I just thought you should know...' because I'd feel as if I'm being told off when, really, these things can happen at playgroups. One week it's your child, the next, it's someone else's.