Mummies of boys aged 2.5 and upwards

**spritzer** · 29-04-2007, 09:43pm

Ok, I need a bit of advice and a chat about BOYS!

Xander is the most boisterous child in his class at nursery and is full on all the time. We're deep in the terrible twos and he is very strong willed and determined. He's also very strong physically.

I can deal with the tantrums just fine but the constant demands for my attention are just exhausting and I am dreading the time when Zach gets a little older and needs me more as it is a juggle at the moment. I used to be able to go off and change the sheets or do the odd job but he is just constantly at me (and has been for months) and I cannot leave the room without 'MUUUMMMMYY' the whole time. He throws things around the room and is becoming quite destructive and naughty. We do timeout and lots of ultimatums - which largely works.

So, what I want to know is: How long does this testosterone fueled phase last for? Do they get better for a while or am I stuck with a top volume tornado for the foreseeable future? If so, I need more wine

He's 2.5 BTW

Thanks for any comments

**goldilocks** · 29-04-2007, 09:45pm

til theyre about 18 and you kick them out

**ChelseaHarvey** · 29-04-2007, 09:49pm

He sounds very much like alfie and his boistours behavouir and being strong willed although isnt like this at nursery

but is at home with the constant Mummmy mummy not letting me get on always wanting attention & throwing things around the room and being aggressive

I have problems though with tantrums and really struggle.

**spritzer** · 29-04-2007, 09:52pm

CH they do sound similar! Xander is also good at nursery and with Mr S, it's just me he likes to push.

I have heard some say that they calm down at the 3-4 stage and are actually more sensitive than the girls up to about 7-8 when the next surge of hormones kicks in (I guess) and they go wild again.

I'd just like a bit more evidence of this

so I can weather the storm.

**WoollyNewty** · 29-04-2007, 09:55pm

Alex is about a month older and VERY physical - but he always has been, I think I just notice it more as he's that much bigger now (i.e. a 7 month old tearing round the house is one thing - a giant 2.5 year old is another matter!!). He is massively into 'crashes' at the moment - everything has to 'crash' (trains, cars, planes, furniture, himself) and today I've had him out in the garden with a giant fitball/birth ball thing and watched him just run up and down with endlessly throwing himself on top of it and falling down the otherside shouting 'CRASH' or 'I'M FALLING DOWN' until he's literally dripping in sweat. He is a huge amount of fun but I have NO idea if my house will still be standing if the 2nd one is the same....

. His friends (boys) seem to fall into 2 categories - either really really quiet and moody or 'full on action'. If he gets together with a 'full on action' one then the naughtiness and throwing things etc just escalates out of control. He does thing he would never do on his own and they wind eachother up thinking its hilarious. One of his friends is VERY active - and when he's tired he's a million times worse - together they are just like a tornado. My OH said he was just the same - well behaved at home but really bad when with mates - he can remember chucking cushions at a friend's house and smashing the mum's lightshade and being sent home! Do men ever actually grow out of that phase.....???

However (touchwood) I don't have any of the MUMMYY stuff and the tantrums etc - but I expect all that to change when No. 2 arrives

. Do you think he's trying to make sure he gets a big share of you because he knows now he's not the only one? It sounds like you handle it really well though so I guess you can only hang on in there with the wine!

**spritzer** · 29-04-2007, 09:59pm

I'm sure some of it is making sure he always has my attention although he ADORES Zach so we don't have any problems there thank goodness

Like Alex he's much worse when he's tired - then he really is on turbo charge, it's as if he doesn't know how to stop and then will crash big style.

**Blonde Girl** · 29-04-2007, 10:01pm

No advice really Spritzer as Dan is still well in the full-on hectic stage. He and his little friends literally fight and bundle each other all them time. Apparently they are just tending (pretending!), but it looks blinking painful to me!

Just wanted to say you are not alone!

Does he sit and watch TV at all, as sometimes that is what I resort to when I HAVE to get things done as otherwise I feel myself getting really frustrated with him, and it's not his fault really that I have other things to do other than play with/watch him.

Originally Posted by WoollyNewty

If he gets together with a 'full on action' one then the naughtiness and throwing things etc just escalates out of control. He does thing he would never do on his own and they wind eachother up thinking its hilarious.

Oh

- when they see each other again I think we will look like this

after 10 minutes as Dan falls right into the 'full on action' category

**Cat** · 29-04-2007, 10:12pm

It does get better - honestly

DS1 is nearly 5 and I well remember this stage. He is still much more physical and boistrous (sp) than his girl friends and I think boys just are, but he's so much better at entertaining himself and playing on his own for a bit.
The tantrums really calmed down by about 3 1/2, although we do still have our moments since he started school, but that is purely tiredness.
What I find now, is that our 'arguements' are more verbally based, by which I mean he will argue that its not fair, or he wants something etc, but discuss it out rather than throw a paddy (if that makes sense).
He has also become very sensitive and quite fragile about things - death is a real issue for him (although luckily, no one he knows has died) but he gets relaly upset about me dying and him dying. We do sometimes have floods of tears, but of sadness not anger (and it breaks my heart - I just want to protect him from the world

).
Basically, he is still a boy with the speed and energy that that entails, but he's calmed down sooo much and, although we have our moments, he is a joy to spend time.
I've also noticed this with his pals so its not just my perfect boy

HTHs

**spritzer** · 29-04-2007, 10:13pm

Luckily he loves TV

and TBH it does help a lot. We tend to rely on this to calm him down when guests have just left or we've got in from a day out.

I love his energy and drive but I can't wait for him to be able to channel this in a more constructive way.

**spritzer** · 29-04-2007, 10:15pm

bluesgirl, that really helps

although I am a bit

at the thought that we've got another year to go

**WoollyNewty** · 29-04-2007, 10:19pm

Hey BG - when I see you Alex will probably be having a mega quiet day and sit there all angelic looking and refuse to move and you'll be like

!

Spritzer - that is great that he loves his little brother. I just

Alex comes to terms with it all - at the moment you can tell that deep down he is NOT impressed with the whole idea. He is still telling everyone that he is either getting a 'dragon'

or a 'baby SISTER'

.