working mummy in need of a sholder...

**Valentine** · 04-04-2007, 08:24pm

Since i started working at the end of jan i have been on and on at the boss to keep me to my 18 set hours a week... thats 3 days. Now... every week BAR one week i have done 4 days. some times i do 5 days or even 6 days. In 2 weeks i have a 4 day residential course and then a day at work. my days off are rarely together.

Its too much and i cant handel not seing my baby. I mean i litterally DONT see him.

Today i had to be at work for 8am and C woke up at 7.30 so i saw him for 10 minutes. i got in at 6 and he goes to bed at 8 so its been minimal and its happening too often.

He is suffering. His moods at home and at the childminders have been funny and he is tantruming alot and misbehaving when i do have time off.

Its not fair i want to make hot cross buns with him before easter but my next day off is easter. i miss being a mum i feel like i dont do much mumming and its killing me. All three of us (me my partner and C) are unhappy with it and to top it off i havent even been paid any overtime since i started as SOMEBODY forgot to put it on the system!!!

I am going to put my foot down and say thats it no more overtime and keep my hours but that wont be for 3 weeks and every day is getting harder and harder!

Sorry long post but needed a little rant!

Thanks if your still reading!

**ms sweetcheeks** · 04-04-2007, 08:28pm

Ahh V, I kinda know the feeling- although I NEVER do overtime,the creche shuts at 4pm, so I have to leave at 4pm..

Soemone asked me recently if Theo loved the swings, and you know what, I don't even know if he does, as I haven't taken him to the swings since he was tiny wee baby, and now he'd enjoy it so much more.
I just don't get the time.

That realisation made me sad, that I haven't even taken my baba to the swings

But on the flipside, I love work and wouldn't really have it any other way

Hugs to you though, it is hard...

Ps. How do you manage to do so much overtime?
Is your childminder very flexible?

**Valentine** · 04-04-2007, 08:30pm

yes lukily she is MEGA flexible but i dont WANT to do over time. Althouh the money (if i should ever get it) will come in useful for moving BUT i miss my baby and i just want the balance!

I mean if me and daddy are home he screams if either of us leave the room!

**ms sweetcheeks** · 04-04-2007, 08:33pm

Yeah Theo is clingy too most of the time, but that's mainly cos he's been ill permanently since he's started in the creche in december.

He hates his mummy leaving

**Valentine** · 04-04-2007, 08:36pm

today i feel like just packing it in HOWEVER i cant especally as we are in the early stages of buying a house so we need the money more than ever.

Its just working this many hours is something im never going to get used to and im actually not going to do it anymore... im putting my foot down for the nexty rotas but it wont make me any friends

**Anne** · 04-04-2007, 10:51pm

Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself and your Lo. They are only young for a short time, so stick to your guns. Im about to go back to work 3 days a week. I had a message on the answer machine telling me I have to work an extra half day at home as well. Told them on yer bike!

Anne

**Mrs Cheeso** · 04-04-2007, 10:59pm

TBH Valentine it sounds like you've made a rod for your own back in letting on how flexible your CM can be (god I hope that doesn't sound rude

). When you next go in to work I would sit down with your boss/HR whoever needs to know & tell them that unfortunately your CM has requested fixed days/times each week from XXX date. This means that however much they need you you will ABSOLUTELY not be able to do overtime, stay late etc. As MSC says, her nursery closes at 4pm so she has to leave at 4pm - no question - and you need to get into this frame of mind. If the odd occasion you do want or genuinely need overtime you can plan ahead & say you've made special arrangement 'just this once'

. I leave on the dot of 5:30pm to 'collect Harry' - they don't need to know that my DH actually picks him up now do they

I work 3 days a week & find the work/home balance OK. I'd like to see Harry a bit longer on my work days but accept that as the trade off for having 2 full weekdays together plus weekend.

You need to put your foot down hun
Sx