Feeling very poorly and very low today

**Minky** · 20-03-2007, 09:44pm

And I just don't know why.

Apart from the fact that I feel physically a bit pants but certainly not on death's door, I just feel lower than a snake's belly button today.

I rang Mr Minky and he came home early

and I went straight to bed when he finished Lulah's dinner and put her to bed.

I took her to swimming and then we just spent (from 2pm) in front of the tv

until a friend visited at 4pm. Lulah was extremely badly behaved today, probably due to my weakness as much as anything. Loads of tears and tantrums and didn't play properly with her friend, nothing we offered for her to do was right, whereas her friend played beautifully.

I sat on the sofa looking like death cooled down and just not able to do anything. My friend said "I think she wants you to play with her" and she was right. I did some aquadraw with her as that's what she wanted but then she threw an utter hissy fit and the only way I can calm her when she does this (she wanted a cracker at 5pm and I said no as it was nearly tea time) is to put the TV on.

I feel like a failure as a mother. I really shouldn't be having this baby - I can't really deal with one let alone two. What was I thinking?

Oh I don't know, I just want to run away.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Minky (sorry for self indulgent whine)

**Chocolate Lips** · 20-03-2007, 09:47pm

Um I have had serious moments of crying and wailing down the phone to my OH through this pregnancy about how I can't cope with one so how on earth am I going to cope with two etc and going to bed in the afternoon feeling low and depressed which wasn't helped by feeling ill with a cold/sinusitis.

So you are totally not alone, and it doesn't make you a failure at all. I think it is probably a whole mixture of emotions/hormones/being ill which is making you feel low.

**Stephi103** · 20-03-2007, 09:47pm

Oh don't be silly saying you shouldn't be having another. You are having an off day when your feel rubbish. That doesn't make you a bad mother. Now don't be so hard on yourself.

**ms sweetcheeks** · 20-03-2007, 09:47pm

Minky

Stoppit, stop saying you're a bad mother, when you're clearly a wonderful and very loving and deserving mother.
You are pregnant for heavens sake, anyone would feel knackered/down, and that is without having a 3 yearold to deal with/ look after on top of that.
You deserve your 2 girls as much as anyone, and everyone has bad/down days.

Compared to some mothers, you're an absolute saint, and don't you every forget it

**Booh** · 20-03-2007, 09:47pm

Sorry your feeling so yucker, tomorrow is another bright (but cold!) day and I hope you are feeling a little better.

We have all felt the way your do when PG with number two, your be great when Mini minky II gets here.

Get to bed, sleep some more and have a fun day with Lullah tomorrow! - Cimema is great when you are PG with a toddler!!

**funky11je** · 20-03-2007, 09:52pm

oh sweetheart you poor thing & yes lots of us feel like this & wonder how we are ever going to deal with it all - at least I do for one.

My DD Mia does this so often, she is always more difficult to deal with when I am tired - mainly due to the fact that I am tired I can't deal with her so well. I have found that it helps sometimes to tell her that I am tired, sleeply or whatever it is & then we try to find something to do together that I can deal with - doesn;t always work, but helps

You are a fab mum & what the best for both of your girls - you should be having this baby & your no where near a failure ... it was just one of those days & tomorrow will be a better day

11je

**Angel** · 20-03-2007, 09:52pm

I have no advice but I know I've struggled already dealing with a willfull 3yr old and morning sickness / tiredness. They pick up on these things so quickly too.

Get a good night's sleep and hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow. You're in no way a bad mother - we all have off days when all you can muster the energy for is a TV day

**So Happy** · 20-03-2007, 09:54pm

[quote=Minky]

I feel like a failure as a mother. I really shouldn't be having this baby - I can't really deal with one let alone two. What was I thinking?

quote]

You are not a failure from the posts I have read about you, you are a loving and caring mum.

**katkinn** · 20-03-2007, 09:56pm

Oh angel - been there done that got the t-shirt and yes it feels PANTS but you do what you have to do to get by.

Just write off today and think that tomorrow is a new day!

It's probably just that you've absolutely overdone it the last couple of days, plus Lulah is bound to be still on a high from the weekend. Ime they're always a bit overexcitable if they'd had lots of attention and then go back to *normal life*.

And I'll say it again - it IS easier once the baby is here

**Jelly** · 21-03-2007, 12:09pm

Originally Posted by katkinn

It's probably just that you've absolutely overdone it the last couple of days, plus Lulah is bound to be still on a high from the weekend. Ime they're always a bit overexcitable if they'd had lots of attention and then go back to *normal life*.

It always takes Max a while to settle back down after a birthday or Christmas and you have had a lot of busy days lately.

Nothing wrong with letting Lulah relax in front of the tele if that's what will settle her, either. You don't do it all the time so she's not going to end up square eyed and stupid. Sometimes putting my feet up in front of the tele is just what the doctor ordered and I don't see why kids shouldn't feel the same way sometimes

I hope you're feeling better today

**Adelelee** · 21-03-2007, 12:12pm

How are you feeling today chicken?

**Azana** · 21-03-2007, 12:23pm

Hope the sunny day today finds you revitalized etc....sounds like you overdid it at the weekend. I think it is a normal feeling - ach you will be fine - just do "good enough" and try to remember super mum doesn't exist!

**Minky** · 21-03-2007, 03:18pm

Hello everyone, thank you for your kind words.

I think you are all right, I DID overdo it SAturday and Sunday and just burst my foo foo valve I think - crashed and burned

.

I slept for 2 hours last night, got up at 8, back to bed at 10, slept til 6, Mr Minky took Lulah to Nursery School (I love that man!) while I lounged in bed snoozing until 10am.

Feeling so much better today and oddly enough madam is better behaved too....

. We have had only 10 mins of TV today, done baking and all sorts and are now off for a babyccino in the village (need milk

).

Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.

Minky xxxx

**Chocolate Lips** · 21-03-2007, 03:20pm

Sounds like a better day was had all round

You are going to have days like yesterday, you just have to try and get through them best you can and remember that tomorrow is another day and that you are a GREAT MUM!

**Franny** · 21-03-2007, 03:36pm

Does anyone else feel like this?

Pretty often and I'm not even pregnant. I think it's a combination of both of you being tired. R is always bad when tired and when I'm tired, it's explosive.

Don't beat yourself up about the TV. We've done a lot of that ourselves lately. Sometimes I find it's the only thing that settles her and I figure so what. Sometimes they want to chill out and watch the box just like us when we're knackered.

**Tigerpants** · 21-03-2007, 03:51pm

Originally Posted by Franny

Pretty often and I'm not even pregnant. I think it's a combination of both of you being tired. R is always bad when tired and when I'm tired, it's explosive.

Don't beat yourself up about the TV. We've done a lot of that ourselves lately. Sometimes I find it's the only thing that settles her and I figure so what. Sometimes they want to chill out and watch the box just like us when we're knackered.

Personally and this is just my opinion, I think that a bit of TV doesn't do any harm at all - really I don't. I think you need to let yourself switch it on for a bit longer now and rest and relax. It is not going to make her a dullard, she is a very bright little thing, and I think you most definitely need a bit of r&r yourself.

She will have to amuse herself more once the baby arrives too so if she learns to do it now before the baby is here then all the better.

I'm not saying put her in front of it all day every day but really it isn't the worst sin in the world and you are so not a bad mum at all

and remember you're pregnant with a toddler

that is very hard work!!!

Please don't beat yourself up about it

and listen to Mummy Spacey being stern

S
xxxxxxxx

**Blonde Girl** · 21-03-2007, 04:44pm

Ooh honey

Only just seen this, glad to hear you are feeling better today. Honestly tiredness can make even minor things seem just astronomically bad, so I bet you are feeling far brighter today.

And I would say it is pretty likely that Lulah picked up on your mood yesterday and was playing up to it, I always find Dan a 100 times naughtier when I am tired/poorly.

Fwiw I felt rotten yesterday and ended up leaving work a bit early, just really low and teary. I wonder whether the sudden return of wintery weather isn't helping either.

to you - and you are a GREAT mum!!!!!!