Tattoo?

**knotjustjigs** · 24-02-2007, 07:32pm

I feel a bit of a fraud posting on this as you all seem to have young children and my problem is with my 19 yr old son! (i have a smaller child too)
He has come home with a tattoo!!!!!!!!!! on the inside of his forearm with his DD name on it. FFS how do i react, so far he said i've had a tattoo (showed it me) do you like it and i said no and walked off!! not very productive i know but didnt want to lecture him, whats the point its already done but didnt actually know how to react?

Help/advice/suggestions needed please..

**Cherrypie** · 24-02-2007, 07:34pm

If either of my kids came home with a tattoo, I wouldn't be able to criticise as I have one too! Actually a lot of the girls on here have them.

**Petrus** · 24-02-2007, 07:43pm

Hmmm don't really know what to suggest. I guess you should try looking at the positives...least it was something that meant something to him iykwim?? Him getting his DD name is better than maybe an off the cuff tribal thing. I have a tattoo which i had done when i was 20 and my mum hated it. It doesn't bother her anymore as theres nothing she can do about it.

Opprobrium · 24-02-2007, 07:45pm

I wouldn't be able to say a word, I have 4 & am planning on more and I was 15 when I got my first. To be honest it didn't matter to me one hoot what my Mum & Dad said, it was too late, it's permanent, nothing anyone can do about it now. In fact, the fact that my Mum hated it made me even happier! I'd have been horrified if that 'old fuddy duddy that just doesn't understand me' thought it was "cool"!!

He's the one that has to live with it. If it's really crap, he'll end up hating it & it'll be his own fault & down to him to deal with it. If he loves it then it's his body & at that age, in all honesty, & I don't mean to upset you with this, but, it's none of your business.

At least it's something he will always think is important - his DD's name, not some flavour of the month gf.

**knotjustjigs** · 24-02-2007, 07:46pm

I know but when its your child its different somehow! i am not critising them (tattoo's) i actually like them but i am a little annoyed with him, where it is , how much it cost (he has no money or job) and tbh what it is. I think people will think its the name of a gf not his dd iykwim? perphaps cos he's young and irresponsable i feel its just something else to get back at me for!

**lucypede** · 24-02-2007, 07:47pm

You may not like it, but it doesn't change him as a person, he is still exactly the same so don't let it cloud your judgement of him. Fair enough, you said to him you don't like it, I think thats enough said really, there's no point giving him grief or a lecture, it'll just make him angry at you. I'm sure he didn't take the decision lightly. Breathe deep, and let it go...

**lucypede** · 24-02-2007, 07:49pm

Originally Posted by knotjustjigs

perphaps cos he's young and irresponsable i feel its just something else to get back at me for!

God why on earth would he get a tattoo to get back at you? He hasn't put "I hate my mum" on his wrist has he?

Thats so irrational!

**knotjustjigs** · 24-02-2007, 07:58pm

Yes maybe it is irrational but to be fair he has put us through lots and lots of grief that i dont want to go into so maybe i am not thinking rationaly?

Opprobrium · 24-02-2007, 08:19pm

I think with my tattoos (& I have a couple of well dodgy ones!!!

) it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks to the owner of the tat. I mean I have a Take That symbol on my bum (SHUSH! There is a reason they don't let 15 year olds get tattood, I know that now!!) and yes it's a bit, erm, Take-That-symbol-on-bum-ish but I don't care, no one has to like it but me & it reminds me of a brilliant time in my youth when I was having the time of my life, so I love it. I had another one that didn't turn out how I wanted & looked rather chav after a couple of years so I had to have another design over it & now I love it! That was only a couple of years ago & my parents still said they hated it. But whatever, I hate their dress sense, home decor & lifestyle. Point is we're different people & we have different ideas of what is nice & horrible. At the end of the day I don't really care what they think, it's my life, not theirs. I didn't get tattood to annoy them, or to please them, I did it because I like them & I wanted them & it's my body & my problem. I think tats are like Marmite, you either love them or hate them, but you wouldn't eat it just to annoy someone, would you?! Don't take it personally, it's not a dig at you, it's just what he thinks is cool. I'm sure my parents think I smoked, drank & got tattood & had sex all just to get at them, but that wasn't the case at all, I was just trying to be my own person & figure out who I was. I'm sure they say I put them through hell, in fact I know they do, but nothing I did was anything to do with them, really, I was just doing my thing. I stopped living by their rules & likes & dislikes when I was about 14 but they still take things I do today as a personal attack. It's really not, it's just me doing my own thing.

**icclebunny** · 24-02-2007, 08:38pm

Originally Posted by Opprobrium

At least it's something he will always think is important - his DD's name, not some flavour of the month gf.

**knotjustjigs** · 24-02-2007, 08:40pm

Opprobrium, thankyou... i know what your saying is right and thanks to all the other replys,i love my son dearly and we have and are still going through a very trying time but on this subject i will try and take your advice breathe deep, and let it go...phew

Opprobrium · 24-02-2007, 08:42pm

In the grand scheme of things, it's only a drawing, a bit of decor. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

**icclebunny** · 24-02-2007, 08:44pm

Oppro - I cant believe Ive known you over 6 years and never knew you had a TT symbol on your bum - now thats dedication lady

Opprobrium · 24-02-2007, 08:46pm

I WAS 15!!!!!!!!!

**cherry fizz** · 24-02-2007, 10:48pm

Oppro - bet you were glad when they reformed!

but OMG, what did you think when they split up?

**Princess Fiona** · 24-02-2007, 11:14pm

He's 19 there isn't a fat lot you can say tbh. Maybe let him know you're not a fan but what can you say/do?? Its done now, they're permanent??

Sorry i'm not much help am i

I have tattoo's and i LOATHE them, i shall make it very clear to my daughter as she's growing up how much my tattoo's get me down, hopefully she'll realise they're not big or clever but once she's 18 she can do what she likes so its up to her!

**RedTiger** · 24-02-2007, 11:21pm

Now I really don't like tattoos but a TT symbol on my bum

I may consider that!

I would agree that having his DD's name on the tattoo isn't *too* bad. I would probably just not bring up the subject with him, or if he mentions it tell him that you aren't happy that he has got a tattoo but obviously nothing you can do about it as he is old enough to have one and erm, it's already there

**cartchick** · 25-02-2007, 02:37am

I watched a documentary about a Pacific island boy (he was 21 or so) getting his tribal tattoes done - the intricate ones around the top of the thighs. The tattoes are so large that they take several days to do.

One night, during the process, the boy went out and got very drunk - and missed one session with the tattoo artist - and as a result there was no time to complete the whole tattoo.

The tribal elder said "It doesn't matter that it's not finished, whatever happens is meant to be. This tattoo is a symbol of where he was and what he was doing at this time in his life. There's no right or wrong".

I love this sentiment.

I had my tattoo done at 22, when I thought I was completely grown up and knew what I was doing

and at 34 I still don't regret what I did, because it's a part of me and my life from that time.

If your son really WAS trying to wind you up, so be it. In 10 years time he may look back and understand what he was doing - but it's now a part of him and he will have to live with the reasons why he decided to have his tattoo.

I now love remembering where I was when I was 22 - understanding how little responsibility I had and appreciating the freedom I once had.

Libra · 25-02-2007, 08:43am

I'm sorry, but I dont see the big deal. He's 19 and free to do what he likes.

If he does live with you then it's not like he's done something to you or your home. It's his body.

Fair enough if he hasnt got any job or money but thats another story.

As for people thinking he's got his girlfriends name - who rally cares?! I have my son's name on the inside of my wrist and my hubbie's initials on my hip.

I couldnt give a flying feck who people think 'Billy' is. I know he's my son and nobody can see hubbie's initials unless I show them. I got my tattoos for me and nobody else.