Oh God, don't know how much longer I can do this!

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:07am

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo tired it's ridiculous

Theo just WONT sleep til midnight and I'm getting more & more worn out- as having a baby all day is hard enough- but then having to stay awake til 12am with a wide awake baby just tops it off.

Yesterday I got him up EARLY (even though he went to sleep 12am the night before) so all day yesterday he was yawning and went down no problem for naps at 9am, 12noon, and 4pm.
But come bedtime he was wide awake, even though throughout the day I couldn't keep him awake for love nor money.
He was then awake from 6pm-midnight- not too much crying- just wide awake-big eyes staring.
O/H got so angry & frustrated and then I became upset and ohh I HATE it!
Why can't he just sleep at 7pm or even 8pm?
He did go down at 7.30pm but when he does that he ALWAYS wakes up 10mins after crying- and then stays awake all night.
Right now I'm aching with tiredness, I have to take him to a hospital for a hearing app, and I just want sleep.
I feel like I could sleep for 24hours or more.
Got him up at 7am this morning (even though he went to sleep at midnight) as I want him to be TIRED by tonight.
It's just getting us so down/tired and I don't know what to do.

Sorry for ranting...

shining star · 08-05-2006, 09:15am

oh Miss SC it does get easier

how many weeks is Theo now?

FWIW Dylan used to be very awake in the evenings up to when he was about 10-12 weeks old as far as I can remember. I think most babies have a wide awake time and it tends to be in the evening. I found that it was just too hard to wake him earlier in the day (so he would be tired earlier in the evening) I remember trying so many things (really mean things like tickling, cold face cloth, taking his clothes off and bathing him

) to get him to wake up and nothing worked!

But he gradually started to want to go to sleep earlier and earlier in the evening, and he was probably about 12-14 weeks by the time he started going to bed by 7.30 / 8 in the evening.

ss
xx

**Hello Kitty** · 08-05-2006, 09:19am

Ditto to what SS said, Grace was exactly the same. It does get better honest

Personally I would just let him sleep in in the morning and then you can get a bit more rest but then others may disagree (I was never a routine follower)

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:26am

I really don't mind if he has a routine, I just need some sleep.
I've sat here in tears for 20mins now- and Theo was supposed to be napping, but he is awake in his cot and I wentto change him, and he just looks at me all worried, because I was sobbing.
I feel like I can't even get through the day today.
Surely a baby can't live on less than 7 hours a night- I know I can't.
He is 7 week today.
I feel like not going to the appointment because it means getting in a black cab with pram and it's pouring down, and I have never been to the hospital before, but then I know everyone will blame me for him not having had his hearing test.
Oh I just want to give him away for 1 week so I can feel normal again.

**Mad Madam Mim** · 08-05-2006, 09:30am

Yep my Dylan was exactly the same too - wide awake in the evenings used to drive me mad. I felt like you as well, like ripping my hair out in frustration and out of tiredness. Theo's only tiny, I know it's cold comfort now but it really does get better.

I think this awake in the evenings thing is pretty normal stuff (possibly a baby punishment for mummies for removing them from their nice warm womb home)

**Hello Kitty** · 08-05-2006, 09:32am

Aw you poor thing, I think it comes to us all. It is a bit like hitting the wall in a marathon or whatever it is called. Is there anyone who can have Theo for a couple of hours while you rest? Am sending you lots of hugs

**Mad Madam Mim** · 08-05-2006, 09:36am

Just crossed post with you so to your last post

Originally Posted by miss sweetcheeks

Surely a baby can't live on less than 7 hours a night- I know I can't.
He is 7 week today.

Oh I just want to give him away for 1 week so I can feel normal again.

My mother says I got by on 5 hours day and night for many, many long months of her life - babies can and will. That said not many of them so don't start to get worried most bebe aren't as

as I was!

Also your last line there, again pretty normal stuff from mother's of newborns I think. I have discovered from being a mum that sleep deprivation is the worst thing - it makes you feel so crap that every little problem is magnified about 100 times. It makes you feel anti-social and reclusive and apathetic (apart from when your temper is very short and you are shouting). I really sympathise SC

This is my only advice - set youself up a lazy day get all your bits and bobs around you on the couch and just cuddle Theo. Also you need some serious time to sleep this weekend - will hubby help?

Honestly SC it really, really does get better

**donna-j** · 08-05-2006, 09:39am

Thomas was difficult in the evenings at first. Crying for a couple of hours.

My mum passed on this advice from my auntie, who had 4 kids:

Just before the usual bed time, i.e. midnight for Theo at the moment, do the bath, milk, bed routine. The next night make it a bit earlier, about 15 minutes maybe. Then carry that on, changing the time slightly each night.

This worked for us and by about 8 weeks he was in bed by 8pm.

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:39am

double post

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:39am

Wahhhh.
Thanks for your kind words.
Hubby has gone back 2 work today after 7 weeks at home, and anyone who could take Theo is at work as well.
I'm just extra upset as normally o/h is so good and patient with him, well so am I, but last night i went to bed at 7.40pm when Theo had just fallen asleep, and then he woke up after 10mins, and o/h took him downstairs to let me sleep.
But I couldn't as I could hear him cry,and eventually o/h brought him up, and around 11pm he lost his patience as when he put down a sleeping theo- he just woke up again, and o/h just said something like "ohhh p**s off" and went into bed.
He never gets angry, so that got me upset, and I took T to his nursery for 1 hour, until he finally slept.
It's obv. getting to both of us

**Lesley10** · 08-05-2006, 09:40am

I really feel for you Miss SC. I remember those early days of no sleep - and it really is no fun at all

At 7 weeks Daniel's sleeping patterns were all over the place - I got through it by sleeping whenever he did - no matter what time of day or night it was! I agree with Jules - can you let someone else look after him for a few hours to give you a little break?

**Minky** · 08-05-2006, 09:43am

Sweetie, it's quite normal for him to be doing this AND for you to be feeling like this

.

I remember it well ;-)

I went to an NCT post natal class and it was really helpful. I gradually was able to bring her bedtime back from 11pm

to 7.00 pm with the teacher's help. Now she's a champion sleepier :fingers:.

You could always try Gina Ford - I loosely followed this (but not slavishly, the woman is a maniac!) and see how you go with that. I also used to cruelly wake Tallulah so that she would be tired at the appropriate time.

The key thing to remember is that the need to LEARN the difference between night and day and you have to help them learn this. They don't know it instinctively.

Good luck hun, please take it easy.

Minky xxxx

**Chocolate Lips** · 08-05-2006, 09:44am

Miss SC. Isabel was exactly the same until about 13 weeks. She wouldnt sleep before 11.30pm it was a nightmare but then all of a sudden she started looking sleepy in the evenings after her 7.30pm feed so I just tried sticking her in her cot one night and she went straight to sleep.

The tiredness really does get to you, but dont worry, everything you are feeling is normal. If you look back at one of my threads last week I was at breaking point with sleep deprivation, the problem hasnt gone away, but at the moment I am coping with it again. We all have up days and down days.

I dont worry too much about nap times, Isabel will sleep during the day when she wants to. I would never be able to get her to nap at a certain time everyday and it would drive me insane trying so I just let her do it when she wants - as long as she has about 3 a day she is fine.

It will come, Theo will get the hang of going to sleep at night soon I promise.

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:51am

Originally Posted by donna-j

Just before the usual bed time, i.e. midnight for Theo at the moment, do the bath, milk, bed routine. The next night make it a bit earlier, about 15 minutes maybe. Then carry that on, changing the time slightly each night.

This worked for us and by about 8 weeks he was in bed by 8pm.

But what do we do at 7pm ish then, when we normally do these things

Just let him be up and play

We normally do this routine from 6.45pm- bath, milk, swaddle, sleep..
Well- NOT sleep- that part is mising.
I fear if he was up with us in the living room with TV on etc, he'd be mega overstimulated, and become even more difficult to settle??

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 09:58am

I KNOW it get's easier, everyone says so, but today I feel like I can't possibly wait for that to come.
Joanna I read that thread- and I felt for you

I have good days too- most days infact, but then there are days like this- where I feel like I can't COPE!

Minky- he is very good at sleeping to the Gina Ford nap times- well sometimes it's difficult as he'll sleep in the pram and get more sleep than she reccomends.

Because O/H's been off for so long, we've just done whatever/whenever, slept in in the mornings everyday (til 10am/11am)- but now he's back to work I'm much more determined to get a routine going- despite what my MIL says (blah bla u can't put such a young baby in a routine blah blah)..

**Cailín Deas** · 08-05-2006, 10:13am

Hi Miss SC

Everyone's given great advice already, but I just wanted to add that I think your little lad is doing really well.

Seriously, if I've understood it right, he's sleeping a 7 hour block at night and having naps during the day & I think that's fantastic for a 7 week old & bodes very well for the future. Take it from one whose baby didn't sleep through till 21 months!!!

Now, from your point of view, come 6 or 7 o'clock, it the the point of the day where you are just knackered and at your ebb & need that bit of breathing space to recuperate.

Perhaps you could try putting him to bed late (11ish maybe) to start with & gradually bring it back. I know it's utterly heartrending to hear a tiny baby cry but could you try leaving him scream for, say,up to half an hour?

You're in for a few more rough weeks, but really, please take heart, he's doing very well so hang in there!!

**Chocolate Lips** · 08-05-2006, 10:22am

Miss SC, re early evening routine, when Isabel wouldnt sleep before 11pm I didnt even try to do a routine. I used to give her the 7.30pm bottle and let her stay in the living room with us. Sometimes she would sit quietly on her mat, sometimes she would watch telly, sometimes she wanted playing with or cuddling. She was never too overstimulated to sleep later. I just used to take her up to bed with me at 11.00pm, give her the next bottle and then she used to settle.

Dont get yourself too worked up trying to get into a routine, ours came naturally by letting Isabel lead us with what she wanted - I already know she is going to be a little madam!

**Princess Fiona** · 08-05-2006, 10:23am

I remember that horrid tiredness in the early days and Lucy was a good sleeper.

She always slept from 10pm through til about 6 but then from 6-10 wks (which i know isn't long) she wouldn't go down til 1am but slept til 10am so at least i was getting a good sleep but it was the fact i was up til the early hours with her.

I started the Gina Ford feeding plan with her when she was 10 wks and also did 2 nights of semi controlled crying (i know not everyone likes to do it that early but it worked for us) The 1st day on the plan she wouldnt go down for any of her naps and i was convinced it would be a failure but she went to bed at 7pm, had a bit of a cry for about 20 mins and i kept going into her to reassure sher and she then slept til 7am the next morning with the aid of a dream feed. I was gobsmacked as i didn't think it would work. The next night was teh same and she has more or less slept 7-7 since then.

It DOES and WILL get easier, he is very small still and just hasn't leant to settle himself, but he will.

**Elle Driver** · 08-05-2006, 10:25am

hey sugar

but your MIL is right, i really *don't* think you can put such a young bubba in a routine, they're carving out their own routines, albeit with some guidance from you/D.
i have slung GF out the window and shock leila is napping whenever she wants to in the day (although i limit it to 4 hours and try to make sure she has an hour between 4-5pm so that shes not overtired at bedtime).
bedtime for us can be anything from 7-9pm but there are days that she wont settle til 10pm. i was getting so anal with the whole routine routine routine thing that i was working myself into tears and getting frustrated with leila as she wouldnt sleep when GF said she was supposed to sleep

Leila's now been awake since 7am and i put her up at 9am and by 10am she hadnt gone off for a sleep so she is now back down here! if she was older i'd be stricter with this but for now i'm just going with the flow. be careful that T isnt going to get overtired as we've had this problem with leila once or twice in the past couple of days - been awake since 2pm (a very noisy sister being the culprit

) and so overtired that she zonks out for a half hour nap after her bath at 6ish then wont settle til gone 10 as she is so WIRED

i know it probably is getting on your nerves hearing this but it IS only early days so for now i would sleep when he sleeps, from 12am til whenever he wakes up...and maybe wake him up 15 minutes/half an hour earlier every day?
u have my sympathies though as ruby didnt sleep much during the day through the first few months, but thankfully did start her night time sleep at 7pm.
i know how you feel - when L doesnt go down til late i always think oh v you selfish selfish person but i do want MY evening as you've been on duty as it were, all day

sleep deprivation is a killer. i had 4.5 hrs sleep one night last week due to leila deciding it was party time from 2-4am and not going back to sleep, ruby waking up and demanding the potty, and then generally mucking bout til 5, then leila up again at half 5

zombie is not the word

you'll get through it babe. call me when ever you need to pal. big hugs and kisses.
Vxx

**ms sweetcheeks** · 08-05-2006, 10:29am

Hiya-
to make myself clearer- he doesn't sleep 7hours in one go, he is breastfed and wakes once or twice for feeds.
Last night after falling asleep at midnight he woke at 3.30am and then I woke him up at 7am.
Most nights though, if he falls asleep at say 11pm, he'll wake at 3.30 and then again at 6-ish, and then sleep til 10am.

Yeah Spacedust I totally agree, even though I often want to tell him to go somehwhere the sun don't shine (theo that is) I feel really hurt when O/H says something like that to him- he might as well have said it to me.
I had to swallow and breathe though, as I know O/H is the calmest person I know (normally) and for him to say that he must have been REALLY tired or really frustrated, and as I said I often feel like saying something similar myself.

I guess I could leave him up until say 10.30pm and then start bathing him and so on, but the thing is that the nights we've just thought "sod it let's keep him with us in the sittingroom" he drifts off several times, so we decide to take him to bed- it's almost like he doesn't like being in the quiet room with dim lights- even thought we're there with him, rocking him, holding him etc.
God I wish I knew what was going through their minds- if anything.