Pulled in all directions

[Pingu]

Typing with one hand, as am feeding, so please excuse the typos. Does anyone else feel pulled in all directions? I have one 4 month old, one 3 year old, and one bloke, and all three of them seem to constantly be pulling at me wanting something. The baby, obviously needs to be fed pretty constantly, and wants to otherwise be held and entertained. The toddler is being a bit of a nightmare lately. She only eats three things. Rice, Beans and Mash. I have given up with anything else. She has generally got very wilful of late, and she just doesn't respond to "stop" or "no".

Bedtime is a full on battle and there are screaming tantrums pretty much constantly. I feel like one of those parents on the TV that you shake your head at and go "What ARE they doing?!" I have a stress headache all day every day. And the bloke just cannot see why or how I am so stressed. And he is annoyed that I am not remotely interested in "doing the deed" as I am simply exhausted, drained and stressed. Frankly I am annoyed with him that he has just become another demanding whiney voice. It is not very sexy.

He even had the cheek to wake me up in the middle of the night last night to suggest we get down and dirty. Three guesses how successful he was...

Today I haven't even had a chance to shower and brush my hair. And even if I got bloke to take over for a half an hour for a bath, I would jump in and out and use the time to hoover or do the washing I haven't got around to yet. If I didn't, I would sit in the bath fretting about it anyway. But once back in the fray they would all be pulling at me again and the chores wouldn't get done in any case. :(

[Rosa]

Hi Pingu

Sorry you're feeling so... frankly... sh*t upon! Sounds terribly hard work having two little ones and I think most of us would say we feel our DH is just another kid to look after! Can't say much to help but I can only imagine how tough it is.

I get hacked off with my dh not being much use, I mean he helps with ds but never manages to do anything else at the same time. He "babysat" (don't you hate that term!!) last night and the house was a pigsty when I came home and there were no clean bottles left, could have cried! And we have been saying we need some alone time and we booked a meal for tomorrow night and one of his friends have asked themselves along too! If he doesnt get it sorted there will be serious words, then I will be one of those whiney women I hate as well!

Does your DH help out much? Is there anything you can delegate to him? Maybe you could say something along the lines of "I'd love to but I'll need some time to myself first to get in to the mood" or something. Maybe he could get the kids bathed and to bed and give you some peace. And although diving right in to your bed for a massive kip would be the most tempting you might just have the energy for a bit of :adult content:

Hope things pick up for you soon.

[Pingu]

I get hacked off with my dh not being much use, I mean he helps with ds but never manages to do anything else at the same time.

Oh yes! With OH, there is no concept of actually doing anything else other than "being with the babies". So, although he is quite good at getting our 3yo up in the morning, at the weekends there is no chance that she will be dressed or bathed until I get a chance to. And they just spend whatever time it takes for me to feed baby watching dreadful morning tv. I am still breastfeeding for one hour out of every three, so that can really pin me down. Sometimes I wish we could swap and that he had the boobs, as he likes sitting down on the sofa, but it drives me to distraction as there is so much that needs to be done.

Does your DH help out much? Is there anything you can delegate to him?

He is away with work a lot. I can kind of see why. We are all hard work at the moment. When he is here he is good at cooking. Or getting take-outs.

Maybe you could say something along the lines of "I'd love to but I'll need some time to myself first to get in to the mood" or something. Maybe he could get the kids bathed and to bed and give you some peace.

There is always something that needs to be done though. I constantly seem to be chasing my tail. And my 3yo is being an absolute demon child at the moment. I only got her to bed about 20 minutes ago after her screaming for about 2 hours. (DH is out at a work gathering this evening.) I can't help feeling that I am only giving about 70 percent to all three of them. Well actually I lie. I am trying to spread myself between my two small ones and there is virtually nothing left for my bloke. Is it any wonder he is about to march out the door? It makes me feel a bit cr*p to be honest. Other people manage larger families than mine and still hold on to their relationships.

And although diving right in to your bed for a massive kip would be the most tempting you might just have the energy for a bit of :adult content:

I will not feel like :adult content: for some time I suspect. But just having the energy to pretend would be alright.

God, my pathos would almost floor a forum, wouldn't it!??!

Oh the leisure... I have actually typed this with two hands for a change, although the little man is teething (I think?!) and has just started grumbling again. Poor little monkey. I am tempted to give him calpol, but not 100% sure that it is teething so don't want to medicate him unnecessarily.

[bisy backson]

hi pingu, just a quickie from me,

we have similar although not as bad - 4 mth, 2 yo & hubby but he does help a LOT>

re bedtimes - we have resorted to stairgate across the bedroom door - i had to as the 2yo was coming out and wandering the house and i generally need to feed the baby within half an hour of no1s bed time.

i felt really mean and guilty but its tough luck really, its his bed time & i needed to get on. have you tried that? then at least you know where she is and she'll get bored of screaming when there's no one to get a reaction from - splash screamed for and hour the first night and 5 mins last night. i'm counting it as a success! well at least he was in his bed by the time i'd finished feeding the baby.

lots of hugs, will be back later to see if i can help more

feeling your pain

bbxx