GAH! FURIOUS with Tallulah

**Minky** · 18-11-2006, 02:01pm

And I'm afraid I just gave her a bollocking.

I put her upstairs for a rest

and she wouldn't wear a nappy because "I a big girl".

I went up there, and she'd done a mASSIVE poo in her knickers. And it's not the first time

.

Now the thing is she CAN go to the potty on her own. She does it at creche and if I tell her to at home, she will.

AAARRRGGHGGGHHHHHH!

I really let her have it, in my sternest Supernanny voice, made her get into the bath while I showered her down, told her it was naughty, made mummy sad etc.

I should have ignored it, right?

She gets SO much positive attention when she DOES go to the toilet (including often jumping up and down a bit like this

) I'm not sure what else I can do.

I'm probably hormonal but I'm nearly in tears right now.

Someone please help me!

**August Girl** · 18-11-2006, 02:03pm

Does she ask to go usually or wait to be asked?

**Minky** · 18-11-2006, 02:05pm

A mixture AG. If we're out she'll often ask, otherwise waits, and waits, and waits....

**Azana** · 18-11-2006, 02:06pm

Can't help but if it makes you feel ANY better have just had a similar trying experience - only worse - Ella held a pooh in for about 5 mins whilst being coaxed to sit on the toilet/hugged etc.... and then insisted on having a nappy put on to do her pooh in. So worse....She was screaming that she was scared of pooh.

Sorry I have no advice - I told E off too - which I probably shouldn't but it is SO infuriating isn't it.

Maybe pooh is power or something - dunno.

PS if it gets to much - call me - I'm about to leave OH to it and just get on with looking after the girls as his man flu is doing my head in - I had it last weekend but of course just got on with it....

And also big hugs but....HORMONAL is GOOD!!!! If that makes you feel any better...

God this no nap cr@p sucks. ETA as does crap coming to think of it - well stinks more than sucks....

**bisy backson** · 18-11-2006, 02:09pm

aw minky,

from a totally rational non hormonal perspective she probably didn't do it on purpose to be naughty but then you're PREGNANT

so you don't have to be rational at all.

its so frustrating though when you try so hard with them for something and they just totally ignore all your efforts isn't it.

can you get her to go before her nap? (sorry i know nothing about potty training)

bbxx

**lucky-mummy** · 18-11-2006, 02:11pm

ah minky how awful for you

i have reacted the same way MANY times over the years with my boys

but yes im afraid i think the best way to react is the "oh dear never mind, you'll have to try to remember next time" approach

fwiw ds3 jayden

used to do this all the blooming time and it drove me mad as i knew that he COULD do it, then one day he remembered all day and no more accidents happened from then on so im sure the same will happen with lulah

xxxx

**silverpod** · 18-11-2006, 02:33pm

I was talking with a friend the other day about how toddlers seem to quite like having poos in their nappies/pants- when I ask DD if she's poo-ed she furiously denies it. Guess it's warm for them.

My niece also refused to go a poo on the potty/loo for ages after she had been trained, my sister always had to place a nappy on her just to catch it. This lasted for ages but she does go to the loo normally now.

I think children and poos are strange. I wouldn't worry about it though Minky- she wil have probably forgotten about it by now.

**BigB** · 18-11-2006, 03:15pm

Totally understand where you're coming from Minky. DS has been in pants for quite a while, totally understands where to go, but still has the odd accident when he can't be bothered/wants attention/is tired. This is generally at home too.

Please don't beat yourself up over losing your temper. Its completely understandable and so easy in hindsight to see what you should've done - I've been there plenty of times!

**popinjay1** · 18-11-2006, 03:22pm

Try not to beat yourself up too much about telling her off. I have done similar with Claire particularly when I know she knows better IYSWIM. Just forget it and move one. There is little you can do that you are not doing TBH. Its really down the Lulah, she obviously knows what she should be doing but is probably doing it to 'push your buttons'. A friend of mine;s daughter knew perfectly well that she should be weeing in the potty/toilet but would just wee wherever cos she knew it infuriated my friend. It is very hard.

**scatterbrain** · 18-11-2006, 05:48pm

Originally Posted by Minky

I should have ignored it, right?

I'm not convinced!

Elena was toilet trained & had been virtually dry for a month, but then regressed & started having 4 or 5 accidents a day at nursery. She'd just laugh when she was asked if she forgot & demand nice clean knickers with a big smile on her face. She was blatently using accidents as a way of being naughty & getting attention!

Once we realised this I treated her accordingly. She knows perfectly well how to use the toilet/potty & when she needs to go. I tell her I'm dissapointed when she has an accident & she gets a star on her chart when she uses the toilet or potty.

I'm not suggesting this is what Lulah did. My point is...

Once a child knows how to use the toilet/potty and has been trained for a while I really don't think telling them off will do any harm.

Don't worry about it. In your situation I'd just go back to lavishing praise when she gets it right for a few weeks so she doesn't get into the habit of having accidents.

Scatterbrain