Dealing with dangerous toddler behaviour

**Lilacgirl** · 19-07-2012, 05:10am

DD (nearly 2.5) is becoming a real little monkey. She has taken to doing things like taking her arms out of the straps in the car seat and climbing on top of anything she can.
She thinks it's funny to be told off and doesn't respond particularly to time outs.

I am generally not in favour of physical punishment (having been smacked and more myself as a child), but is a small tap on the hand a good/bad idea? I don't think I'd feel comfortable using that on a regular basis anyway though.

I'd really appreciate any ideas as all the methods I employed with DS aren't working with her, and I am genuinely worried she is going to do herself a serious injury. She puts chairs on top of sofas and climbs up and stands on them, she has worked out how to undo the child locks on the car and open the door!!
Obviously I am being as vigilant as I can but I can't watch her every single second.

Thanks. xx

**Bluebabe75** · 19-07-2012, 06:15am

Em can be very similar and I am not sure what to do either. She also gets her arms out of the straps in the car and tried to climb out of the buggy (while strapped in) on the bus the other day. She has opened the car door a few times - once at 50mph but she can't do it when the child locks are on. She will also run into the road - she thinks it is funny not to hold my hand

She also puts her little chairs on tables / dining room chairs and sits on them, but I caught Matthew telling her that was dangerous yesterday and she got down.

Time out doesn't really work - she laughs at me and says 'I go time out' so it doesn't seem to be a deterrent. I don't do smacking (the legacy of rubber-soled slippers as a child - not that it did me any harm in the long run) but I honestly don't think a tap on the hand would work with my Em.

We are going along the positive reinforcement route - praise for the good things (holding hands crossing round, being good in the car, going to bed nicely) and treating her more like the big girl that she is so desperate to be.

**Lilacgirl** · 19-07-2012, 07:10am

They sound very similar BB!
It's relentless isn't it?

What she does is flick the child locks over when she is getting into the car. Any switch or button is irrestistable!

I don't really want to get into physical stuff as she does this stuff all day long so isn't a great option.

Hopefully it's a "phase" for us both.

**One Sock** · 19-07-2012, 07:25am

Lucia is exactly the same. The main thing that works here us the threat of not doing something she wants to do - so no seeing her cousin or her little friend or going swimming etc if she does x y or z again. Distraction can also work, but she is fairly determined. I also have to strap her into her buggy kicking and screaming a fair bit when she keeps running off!

**Rosa** · 19-07-2012, 07:37am

I use distraction a lot as well, or when he does something dangerous (all the time!) I say a firm NO and lift him down. It doesn't do much but I feel I am being consistent!

He has a tantrum every time I say no so I do try to pick my battles.

**creamcracker** · 19-07-2012, 08:05am

I've just read some of this thread to DH because we are going through very similar with B. Climbing, running and most annoying, not listening to a word we say!
She also volunteers herself for time out!

I'll be watching this thread for ideas. Good to know its not just our B though!

**Faith** · 19-07-2012, 08:34am

I did have to watch mine every minute

She was always in the same room as me, I never ever left her unattended. Punishment never worked, but I did use positive reinforcement.

The good news is she started to grow out of it about 3.5. Well I say grow out of it, I think it more we found ways to channel it. She started gymnastics at 2 so she could at least do it in a safe environment, but now she's constantly doing handstands. Still, safer than the uncontrolled stuff she did before.

**donna-j** · 19-07-2012, 08:42am

I used a large Ikea bag clip over the car seat straps.

**Lilacgirl** · 19-07-2012, 09:58am

[QUOTE=Faith;3422989]I did have to watch mine every minute

She was always in the same room as me, I never ever left her unattended. QUOTE]

I am very attentive, but we have an open plan rental (I'm in Australia) with no doors between the kitchen, study, living room, play area and halls. If I am cooking tea I can't strap her down I'm afraid!
I also have a shower when she's awake early and she can get out the door no problem and even if she is in with me she just climbs up on the toilet seat or something!

Glad it's not just mine anyway. She's adorable but definitely a little monkey.

**hobgoblin13** · 19-07-2012, 10:41am

I have one of these

She will frequently tell me, in a very dramatic voice, that something is "dangeroooouuuus" so she / I / her sister / the man on the other side of the road ("Who is that man mummy, you know that man?") must NOT do it because they might die / go to hospital / not get pudding. But does that stop her?!

However, at 4 and a half her big sister (who CAN be incredibly sensible) seems to revert to behaving in exactly the same way when they are both together and in a silly mood. These are the times I'd quite like to find a quiet corner and cry as they just won't listen!

**Velvet Chain** · 19-07-2012, 10:49am

I had one of these - literally couldn't take my eye off him for a second as otherwise he would be climbing up onto the windowsill and trying to fly like a bird!!

I don't agree with physical punishment and so didn't go down that route - it was just literally stopping him every time he would try something so probably a million times a day saying "NO" and trying to distract him and keep him occupied with other things. Most things in the house got done when he was sleeping in the night, the dinner and stuff I would often put him in his high chair with crayons/paper and stuff because there was no way that I could leave him unattended.

**bluekat** · 19-07-2012, 11:36am

I smacked the back of DD1's hand a few times when she was that age and getting up to general dangerous badness (all the kinds of things described here). After the first couple of times I'd only need to hold her hand in the position, and not actually go ahead and smack her hand, for her to stop what she was doing.

Try getting someone to smack the back of your hand, it really is quite painful, even if not smacked that hard, a real short sharp shock. It does teach them if you want to go down the physical punishment road.

Funnily enough, I've never done the same with DD2. She's a naughtier child, absolutely, but tends to take a telling off to heart.

**One Sock** · 19-07-2012, 11:36am

Yes, wearing L out also helps a lot. I take her swimming three times a week and she does a gymnastics class too so something to knacker her out a bit most days. If all else fails I brave soft play with her.

**Lilacgirl** · 19-07-2012, 11:52am

Originally Posted by One Sock

Yes, wearing L out also helps a lot. I take her swimming three times a week and she does a gymnastics class too so something to knacker her out a bit most days. If all else fails I brave soft play with her.

I do this. We are out every morning at playgroups, soft plays and parks, but they are like those duracell bunnies (both of them!). She does sleep much better at night/nap time than she used to though.

The main problem is if she keeps trying to get out of her car seat. She did it today and I was on a fast road where I couldn't pull over straight away and it really frightens me. She has done it a lot and no amount of telling off or explaining is having any effect. The roads are notoriously dangerous over here (Queensland is about the worst driving in Oz too) and I just can't have her unsecured.

Thanks for the ideas. I'll carry on removing and distracting but it seems like I'm not getting anywhere fast!

**diamond301** · 19-07-2012, 01:02pm

S is exactly the same and i often say to her that shes my little duracell bunny, she can get up with me at 7am and still be going at 10pm without a nap if we let her!

Her worst habit is the non hand holding near roads, Monday however she was happy to hold my hand to school and back so i made a big fuss and gave her a kiss, she asked what the kiss was for and i told her it was for being a good girl and holding my hand, she was so pleased with herself.

I know its not an idea solution but what about a different car seat, one with the cushion across the front rather than arm straps, something like the Kiddy comfort or Guardian?

**One Sock** · 19-07-2012, 01:05pm

With our car seat I have just tightened the straps so much that they're practically cutting off circulation! Not ideal but better than her constantly getting out of them. Would that work for you?

**Miss_Jane** · 19-07-2012, 02:10pm

I read about this thing for stopping kids getting out of car seats

http://5pointplus.com/

Although not sure if it is available in Australia!

My child is the same, she climbs on everything and thinks it's funny to run off. The only punishment that seems to work with her is NO CHOCOLATE. Not that she gets chocolate that often but if I say she's not getting any for whatever reason, that seems to stop her. So then I give her a chocolate button or something if she does what I wanted her to do.