Big transitions in their lives - how do YOU cope?

**Lilybett** · 06-07-2012, 12:19pm

I'm a bit of a mess right now. B is off to school in September so everything is starting to come to an end, she's only got 2 more weeks of pre-school, 2 more weeks of our favourite toddler group and effectively 2 more weeks of just Mummy and B time on her days off before her sister breaks up for the holidays. I'm not coping well with it all

She feels too little to be going to school (it's her 4th birthday in 10 days so she'll be a young starter), it's all going too fast and I don't feel ready to say good bye to this stage in my life

I like all the staff at the pre-school, L went there as well so it's been a big part of our lives for 4 years now and the thought of not going there any more is a very sad one. It's the same with the toddler group, I've been going there for 6 years now and know all the people that run it/go and it breaks my heart that its nearly over. I'm just not ready for my baby to grow up I guess

The thought of going back to work too is a scary one, although part of me is excited at the prospect the majority is petrified after so long being a SAHM.

I'm just not coping very well, tearful a lot and finding the prospect of saying goodbye to it all hard. I am obviously not letting B see any of this (although I will struggle on her last day at toddler group and will most likely bawl my head off at her pre-school leavers ceremony) but inside I'm rather torn up. Did any other mums feel this way? Please tell me it gets easier and that I will cope!!

**Miffy** · 06-07-2012, 12:22pm

Oh hun. I'm nowhere near there yet. But I can see me being exactly the same. I love being at home with the children and not working. I love our groups and will be very sad when I have to stop. I'm struggling enough with R doing extra days at preschool in september and our time together reducing.

**kelly** · 06-07-2012, 01:28pm

I wasn't actually upset about my youngest starting school, I saw it as my opportunity to change and do something new with my childfree time. I enrolled at college and am now at university following my own dreams.

**Dink** · 06-07-2012, 01:48pm

Some changes are happening in YOUR life too! If I may ask, deep down is this causing a lot of your upset? When you add up all the changes in your life sometimes, it can be overwhelming. I would advise that you take everything day at a a time, or break this into separate issues.
B finishes school
B finishes toddler group
Summer with L home!!!
B starts new school
You look for work (obviously this might overlap others a bit)

It sounds like these are all going to be positive changes. Still, I am sure it can be hard to let go of your "baby". My youngest is only 3 so not in school yet.

Big hugs! Things will look up. I hate the waiting and not knowing how things will turn out (control freak

). It's always fine, though.

**Cerise** · 06-07-2012, 01:52pm

I don't let myself think like that because I could get very maudlin. I'm sick of people asking me what I'm going to do when my youngest is at school. I am probabyl helped by the fact that we have a lot of other stresses in our life at the moment that tke priority. Nothing major, but distracts the brain.

Apart from that though, I just get so excited at this time of year about having all my kids at home together for the holidays that I think about that and any last days are one step closer to that.

I completely get what you are saying though. I think I just went through a stage earlier in the year where it was more of a big deal to me and now we are so busy that there isn't time to sit back and take stock like that.

**Cat** · 06-07-2012, 01:56pm

Oh hun, I could have wriiten your post word for word a year ago (and probably did!). I was dreading O starting school and was feeling exactly like you are

TBH it was horrible when he started big school, (for me, not for him, he loved it!) I missed him soooooooooooooo much and allowed myself to wallow in self pity and misery for 2 weeks. I feel I was mourning the end of a huge phase in our lives.

Then I found the only way was to keep busy. I was hoping to get a part-time job but that hasnt happened yet but I'm doing some voluntary work and it is amazing how quickly the day goes.

I still find it hard sometimes I must admit, but life just seems to chugg on.

Be kind to yourself and it will get easier

**Adelelee** · 06-07-2012, 02:17pm

Originally Posted by bluesgirl

Oh hun, I could have wriiten your post word for word a year ago (and probably did!). I was dreading O starting school and was feeling exactly like you are

TBH it was horrible when he started big school, (for me, not for him, he loved it!) I missed him soooooooooooooo much and allowed myself to wallow in self pity and misery for 2 weeks. I feel I was mourning the end of a huge phase in our lives.

Then I found the only way was to keep busy. I was hoping to get a part-time job but that hasnt happened yet but I'm doing some voluntary work and it is amazing how quickly the day goes.

I still find it hard sometimes I must admit, but life just seems to chugg on.

Be kind to yourself and it will get easier

Pretty much this word for word. I was inconsolable last year when Serena started school and used to come home and sob every morning when I dropped her off, for weeks

Dh thought I had lost the plot and just could not understand WHY I was so upset. I just felt like a HUGE part of my life was over, I had been at home (albeit working part time) with the girls for a long time and I loved it. It took me a long time to adjust, but bit by bit it got easier.

I was dreading her leaving nursery as I felt they looked after her so well, with her TOF I worry CONSTANTLY and her starting school was a huge issue for me, but they have been amazing with her and this has helped me settle enormously. Just after Xmas I started helping in the school and I now do lots there, so much so after discussions with the dep head I decided to go back to college in Sept to do a TA course with a view to possibly working in the school one day.

This time last year I could not have envisaged that, all I could see was how much I would miss her, and yes i still do and I am actually really looking forward to the hols (I am sure that will only last a week and then they will be driving me mental

)

xx

**Lioness** · 06-07-2012, 05:06pm

I feel exactly the same as you. My boy only turned 4 in June so he will be a young starter. I'm going to miss having him around so much. I also feel he's very young and want to protect him from everything

**bluekat** · 06-07-2012, 05:16pm

My DD2 will be leaving her nursery in August to go to nursery at the school she's hopefully going to go to (DD1's school). I'm quite gutted about her leaving her current nursery as it is a lovely and loving place. The girls who work there are all stars and it is going to be sad saying goodbye.

I'm quite excited about DD2's future at the new place though so that helps.