Swearing - should I say anything?

**Mrs Cheeso** · 26-06-2012, 08:43pm

DH & I aren't swearers & Harry knows the most he can get away with occasionally is a bit of mild toilet humour (poo, botty etc) and even that I won't allow at the table or out & about. Obviously children pick up stronger stuff at school & I've spoke to Harry how there are naughty words we shouldn't say and then there are really big bad words that will get him in a lot of trouble.

So, tonight at bedtime he came up to me said he'd heard some words and thought they were 'pretty big' (I'd told him he could always ask us if he wasn't sure or didn't understand) then whispers in my ear a long list of pretty

swear words including f**k, bugg*r, sh*t, b*tch, h*ll. Apprently they al came from the same boy & whilst some of the boys have been saying them in the field (presumably away form earshot of teachers) it definitely comes from one source.

So WTF (!) do I do or say if anything at all? Given this happened at school I'm inclined to speak to the teacher about it, but DH thinks as long as Harry isn't using it be thankful & get used to it and isn't surprised as he'd heard the parents have a very volatile relationship!! Surely 5 & 6 year olds shouldn't be using this sort of language?
WWYD?
MrsCx

**Daisy66** · 26-06-2012, 08:53pm

I personally wouldn't do anything other than tell him that these are not words he should use in public. But then I do swear a lot

and don't find it that big a deal.

I wonder if the other boy is really using these words on a daily basis, or just saying them in a thrilled whisper to anyone who wants to hear them, knowing that these are 'bad' words, and therefore exciting?

**cheeky_biscuit** · 26-06-2012, 09:08pm

What daisy said. It sounds exactly like a small boys shock/show off list - has the boy in question got older siblings?

**helpimfalling** · 26-06-2012, 09:08pm

Exactly what daisy said x

**kittikins** · 26-06-2012, 09:31pm

I would be really upset if my 6 year old had heard those words at school. Personally I would speak to the teacher of the child who has said it.

**donna-j** · 26-06-2012, 09:34pm

It is pretty normal for them to hear these words at this age. The bigger kids pass them down the line. Thomas got a bit silly about it for a while and I asked the headteacher to have a word with the class.

**Northern Angel** · 26-06-2012, 09:58pm

It could be a Year 1 thing as J has mentioned he knows 'bad words' quite a bit this year. He knows they are bad as he doesn't say them out loud. We always have the discussion about how I never use those words and how I never want to hear them.

He made me secretly smile the other week:
Him: Mammy you know the worst bad word? Its O C K N with a F at the front. (Ok he needs a bit of spelling practice)
Me: Yes, that is a very bad word. You never hear Mammy say that word do you?
Him: No Mammy, but (says his little friend's name) says his Dad says it all the time

The father he mentioned is very nice and I'm sure the parents of that child would be mortified

**Honey Dew** · 27-06-2012, 05:24am

JI agree with Daisy. My kids have had a very sheltered upbringing!!

Then, when we moved schools, they encountered a boy from a very "challenging" background (the schools description) who bullied Noah physically for a wee while and uses some pretty fruity language.

The principal had him in her office and had him write out a list of words which are unacceptable. She said it was the most unorthodox thing she's ever done in her time as a teacher! The sad thing was, that this wee boy didn't actually realise that these words were unacceptable as they were all he'd ever heard. :sadno:

Now, the boys will occasionally come home and say X said the 'F' word to miss M today.
We just go through with them that, as they go through life they will hear these words but that they're not nice and it doesn't mean they have to use them. They are cool with this.

Much as we'd like to, we can't wrap our kids up in cotton wool all their lives! Bad things happen, we just have to equip them to deal with them.

**donna-j** · 27-06-2012, 07:18am

And at the end of the day, they are just words.

**Jelly** · 27-06-2012, 07:25am

I wouldn't talk to the school. You might not swear, or swear in front of your children, but that's not the case in all households.

As long as they know that it's not appropriate for children to use them and they will be punished, there's no problem. To be honest, when my kids learned swear words at school I felt let off the hook that they hadn't learned them from me