If you have a preference is it better to find out sex at babies scan or wait til birth...?

[Dr Spouse]

I know it's not the same, but I have heard people say who found out their child had a disability or something that was going to need medical treatment, that they are very glad they found out at the scan - they could come to terms with it, and then be happy when the baby was born. So similar to what Miffy saiad.

[Rosa]

I had a strong preference, and found out at 20 weeks, I'm so glad I did, as I was so shocked, I was SURE he was a girl. By the time he was born I was totally over it . Second time I didn't care what I had.

[Jeany]

I would go against the grain. I wouldn't find out. When I was expecting Ds1 I would have preferred a girl, because it was what I knew (already had Dd1). I didn't find out until he was born and I can honestly say the second he was born it all went out of the window, I couldn't have cared less what sex he was. If you find out at the scan and its not what you hope for there is the chance that you will fill guilty etc spoiling your pregnancy, I truly believe that once your baby is in your arms it won't matter anymore.

[Velvet Chain]

If it were me, I would have to find out early so that by the time the baby is born i would be used to the idea of the sex and have time to adjust. I am sure that you will love your LO regardless of whether it is a boy or a girl when the time comes and you have that baby in your arms.

[Faith]

I had the opposite view. I had a gender preference, but didn't want to find out.

I have strange logic at the best of times. I felt that if I found out and it was "wrong", I'd regret it, and had taken the possibility of a different gender away, iyswim. I wanted the full 8 months of hope, rather than dashing it half way through.

I spent the time going through all the pros and cons of each sex, and in the end had convinced myself that either sex was OK. Of course in the end it was a baby, gender irrelevant, but having all that newborn fuddle of feeding, sleeping etc meant I didn't have time to dwell on whether I was disappointed or not.

[Bluebabe75]

I had a fairly strong gender preference second time round and we found out at the 20 week scan, having not found out the first time.

Tbh, I wanted a girl both times. First time, by the time Matthew finally arrived, I was literally just happy to have a healthy baby and I love my big boy so much. Plus, I knew we ideally wanted two so I hadn't given up hope of a girl next time.

Second time my girl preference was stronger and I think I would have been disappointed to find out we were having a boy at the scan, but I would have dealt with it. As it turned out, we were having a girl anyway so I was happy

[CurlyLocks]

I would find out so you have time to get used to the idea if it's not the sex you would prefer x

[smiley]

Here is my thread about the same thing and I got some great advice

http://www.damsels.org/forum/showthr...highlight=Scan

I did find out, and he is a boy. In hindsight im so glad I did as it gave me time o accept I'd never have a daughter.

I have loved and adored ds3 from the second he was born - I honestly don't think I could have loved a girl an more


Good luck with your decision


S xxx

[frog]

I was in your shoes and I found out. TBH I don't actually know if it helped or not as I still continued with my preference and was pretty pissed off for the rest of my pregnancy, and a few months after. I would say that finding out earlier means you start the acceptance process earlier but in reality I don't know if it really helps. I suppose the only thing that definitely does help is holding your baby in your arms and getting to know them.

It's a rubbish headspace to be in, and you're not evil, just honest

[S-J]

Thanks so much for all replies. I think we will see if we can find out at scan.

I convinced its a girl tbh. Ill do a thread for good girl stores if so