Going from one - two children - the truth please!

**S-J** · 17-05-2012, 01:25pm

Ahh you see my son was in no way an easy baby at all. So even if this isnt an easy baby Ill be used to it (in theory anyway!).

Have to say its easy-peasy now with just him so I do wonder what Ive let myself in for

Yay for the running DDM. I think next year Ill be running with my son too - he will likely beat me (which he will love

)

**Athers** · 17-05-2012, 01:32pm

Another one who found 0-1 much harder than 1-2. Tbh it is a bit more difficult now that Z is mobile and sleeping less during the day but in general it's OK. L is at pre-school though which helps. Am back to work next month though so things will get more hectic I'm sure.

I am sure you will be fine, do you have family nearby to give you a hand in the early days when you are getting into the swing of things / let you have some one on one time with your elder one?

**Oana** · 17-05-2012, 01:41pm

Ok, I have DD just turned 16, DS1 just turned 6 and DS2 who is 11 months so between my two boys will be a similar situation to you.
In terms of getting into a routine, I found that really easy or should I say fitting the baby around what we needed to do seemed to naturally evolve. I went back to work last month when DS2 was 10 months old and have only gone back for 15 hours a week (my hours were reduced but that's another story!). I'm actually enjoying the time at work, love the project and the time to myself and wearing different clothes

BUT my difficult bit has been that DS2 is another who either likes to be held or within a foot of me so that is really hard. In the times he's actually distracted by DS2 it's normally because he wants to play with whatever the elder one has and then DS1 gets upset because it's 'his' game but I'm sure they'll get there

The time when the big ones are at school is really precious though when you can have newborn cuddles

**claireh** · 17-05-2012, 01:43pm

I found it much harder than I expected. There are 2yrs and 2 months between my two and I found it really hard, still do actually.

O has been an easy baby in that he has been a brilliant sleeper for the most part, fed from 3-4 hours really quickly and is very chilled and now at 11 months old is quite happy pottering around.

I find it hard when people say its not harder work as to me it really is. Two to feed at each meal, extra washing, two sets of teeth to clean, two to bath, two to put to bed etc etc. How can it not be more work?

Dont get me wrong, I feel blessed to have two healthy children but I do feel that I've really lost a large chunk of my identity as I just don't have any time at all for myself. I'm hoping now that my eldest is at preschool I'll do better!

**lisnic** · 17-05-2012, 01:58pm

It is harder I have 23month age gap

I find first thing in the day and bedtime quite stressful at times and also when they are both crying at me at once

I do bath them together just now and ds is a good sleeper and ds doesn't seem to get disturbed either

Ds has played up a bit since she arrived and at times he knows I can't do much about it!

I find once we are all up dressed and fed its not too bad until the end of the time except at certain times with clashed demands

My dh works away 6weeks at a time so don't have an escape or offload route

I survive by being organised (ie getting bag sorted evening before of going out in morning) and also early nights-dream feed 930 then lights out

I also now use my Thursday whilst ds is at nursery to do a big basket of ironing housework etc not as a day for me!

The washing machine is always on too!!

**Woodstock** · 17-05-2012, 02:06pm

Definitely much harder for me. DS1 was the calmest, easiest baby ever, and DS2 is much more of a handful and is quite demanding, so its a bit of a shock to the system for us.

Just had two weeks of DS2 being ill, and now a month or so later DS1 is ill. Covering two children being sick off nursery/school while working, even with two of us, is hard to manage. Something I never really thought about before. I just thought of the school holidays being bad enough

**Superkat** · 17-05-2012, 02:07pm

DS is seven and this little pickle is due any day now and I have been wondering the same thing. DS was a fairly easy baby, bit of a blip at the terrible twos, but is a generally lovely, well behaved child. Sooo if this baby is a poor sleeper/eater/clingy/ etc I think it will be a real shock to me.

I am already a bit

going to back to all the baby stuff, I fully admit to being rather lazy, I love going out for the day an DS dashes off playing with his friends etc and I can sit and chat. But that will be stopping soon lol!

DS is so excited about his new brother or sister that I hope he will be fine with the new arrival

**Nicolab** · 17-05-2012, 08:15pm

I found 1-2 a major shock to the system but I have 14 months between my two so you are clearly way less masochistic than me

**Queenie** · 17-05-2012, 08:25pm

Going from 1-2 was a shock, but I've never regretted it. There's a period of adjustment with any new baby and at least you know what you're doing the second time, with my first I knew nothing at all and I was terrified!

**One Sock** · 17-05-2012, 08:30pm

It wasn't a walk in the park, but you adjust. There were days where I felt pulled every which way and DS was a little bugger for most of his third year, but might have been like that with or without a little sister.

I guess a lot depends on the temperament of the new baby. My sister found going from one to two really hard, but her first was a mega easy baby and her second had silent reflux and screamed a lot and is generally pretty highly strung and 'challenging'.

Sounds like your first wasn't the easiest baby though so like you say, you've been there and got the t-shirt!

**Chickenlips** · 17-05-2012, 08:37pm

You have a good age gap, my girls only have 19 months between them and while it was absolutely right for us, looking back it was such hard work!!! I have the flip side now of a big age gap, and it's great, the girls help me out so much and they love their little brother so much.

**Blonde Girl** · 17-05-2012, 08:38pm

I actually found going from 1 to 2 pretty easy tbh - whereas going from 0-1 was awful. I really really struggled adjusting to a new life as a mum, D was a really difficult baby and cried all the time, plus none of my friends had children. Whereas by the time T came along I was fully adjusted to motherhood and had a good support network of friends.

It helped massively that D started school when T was 2 weeks old so in many ways I was like a first time mum as i just had the oe at home 9-3 but much more relaxed and experienced.

2 to 3 on the other hand

**S-J** · 18-05-2012, 09:36am

Thanks everyone.

Yes I had thought of the nightmare of 2 kids and being ill and time off work. But Ill cope with that I guess when it happens. My son isnt ill that often thankfully.

I think Im now 50% excited and 50% terrified

**S-J** · 18-05-2012, 09:37am

PS Superkat let me know how its going come later this year

**Superkat** · 18-05-2012, 09:42am

Will do! This wee pickle is due in 5th of June, so not long until reality hits!

**bluekat** · 18-05-2012, 09:44am

I have a 3 3/4 year age difference between my two. Going from 1 to 2 wasn't too much of an adjustment. At the time DD1 was finishing nursery and going into Reception and had dancing lessons and lots of parties going on, so DD2 just slotted into all of that. DD1 adored her sis from day one, it was mutual and the pair of them are still very close (dd2 is now 4).

I was more snappy with DD1 than I'd ever been before DD2 was born and less patient for a bit. She had couple of meltdowns when DD2 was a baby that were uncharacteristic.

I went back to work with DD2 when she was 19 months (to a different job than I'd left). I've had a couple of occasions when one of them has been ill and then the other soon after. You just have to take it on the chin. I'm a bad mummy but secretly enjoyed DD2 having chicken pox because it meant a week snuggling under a blanket with her watching Disney films.