Don't know how to handle this

**Moose** · 11-05-2012, 02:33pm

Will try to keep this short but basically - my daughter used to be friends with a girl (whom I never trusted and we will call A). It wasn't a very good friendship - always falling out/making up etc and don't get me wrong, my daughter played her part in it too! But, this girl managed to make my daughter's best friend (who I really liked and shall call B) fall out with her by spreading rumours etc.

Anyway a few months ago my daughter got herself into a little bit of trouble (outside of school) involving a boy (who she thought was the love of her life!!).

Without going into details - her two ex friends (A&B) have got wind of this and put it all over school - older girls have been coming up to her and calling her names etc. The school tried to deal with it and it seemed to die down for a bit.

I've just had a call today, and it seems that they have started all over again, but this time it's worse. Apparently these girls have got others to go into her class and shout it (before the teacher came in). My daughter is heart-broken and stayed in at lunch time as she was too scared to go out for break.

What do I do? The school are very well aware, and the first time the girls started this, they were spoken to sternly and warned of the consequences. They've obviously let it die down, the dragged it all back up again. Should I insist now that their parents are brought into it?

What would you do? I'm so upset for her.

Oh, just wanted to add that after the first incident, my daughter has had no access to facebook or BBM as I knew this would be an ideal way for them to get at her!

**jobey** · 11-05-2012, 04:22pm

Ugh, teenage girls can be so horrible can't they

Not sure what to suggest but i would hate for that to happen to my girls

I think if these girls have just taken it as a joke too far and let it go now and it all settles down then i might let it lie for the sake of my daughter but if there's anything else i'd be seeing it as bullying behavior as they would be consistently picking on her.
It's so tricky though, i don't envy you trying to decide what best to do.

Has your daughter got some more friends she can hang around with now who can keep an eye on her?
The good thing is she's telling you all about it and not bottling it up

**-x-greeneyes-x-** · 11-05-2012, 05:39pm

Lots of

to your daughter! It is horrible when something like that happeneds. One of my friends in school had a similar experience.

Have you asked what the school will do next? I would speak to your daughter and see what she wants to do next?

**Anne** · 11-05-2012, 06:18pm

Your poor daughter. I would make an appointment with the head of pastoral care and go in an discuss the schools response to this. This is bullying, she is being targetted by these two deliberately. I would ask that the parents are invited into school too.
Karma fairy will come for them, sooner or later.

**DillyDally** · 12-05-2012, 11:02am

Originally Posted by Anne

Your poor daughter. I would make an appointment with the head of pastoral care and go in an discuss the schools response to this. This is bullying, she is being targetted by these two deliberately. I would ask that the parents are invited into school too.
Karma fairy will come for them, sooner or later.

I completely agree

**Velvet Chain** · 12-05-2012, 11:17am

Another one that agrees with Anne - this is bullying and needs to be stopped and yes I think the parents of the other girls should be involved.

**Sam** · 12-05-2012, 03:50pm

Originally Posted by Velvet Chain

Another one that agrees with Anne - this is bullying and needs to be stopped and yes I think the parents of the other girls should be involved.

Totally agree. If my children were behaving like that I'd want to know about it!

**Moose** · 14-05-2012, 02:36pm

Thanks ladies, sorry for the slow reply, it's been a hectic weekend.

Well on Friday evening I spoke to pastoral support and said that as these girls had been warned once before, I now think it's time they brought their parents in, as it's obvioulsy not going to stop.

It is definitely one girl who is behind it. She broke up my girls friendship with (B) and has now done it again with another girl by spreading lies. She will not be happy until my daughter is completely isolated.

Luckily I doubt this will happen as she happens to have two girls who have stood by her through thick and thin.

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not saying that my daughter is completely innocent, she has had a few run ins with (A) many a time, but she sticks up for herself, doesn't get others involved and certainly not girls from older school years!

Anyway, am waiting to hear back from the school as they were going to talk to everyone involved today. I won't let this rest until it stops!

Thank you for replying though - girls are a nightmrare