How would you handle this? kids playing out

**Rosa** · 09-05-2012, 06:57am

Before we moved house DS1 played with a girl in his class (they are both nearly 6) who lived over the road. She was allowed to do much more than him (go round the block on her own, cross the road herself, stay out late in the evening etc).

Now we have moved around the corner and she still comes round on her own, its a few minutes walk around corners and across roads

However yesterday she turned up at 7pm with her 2 year old sister

no parents. They tried to come in to the house but I had DS2 in the bath and didn't want him to see them as he was already having a tantrum about going to bed, and DS1 was across the road at a friends house so i didn't let them in. I didn't feel great about putting them out on the street but didn't have much choice. They went over the road to the friends house DS1 was at (who they don't really know).

How should I handle this in the future? I don't really want the 2 year old coming to play. IMO she still needs supervision, esp on climbing frame, going to the loo etc and I don't really want to have extra responsibility

but they just turn up unannounced with no parent so I'm not sure what options I have.

The mum of the boys over the road said she didn't understand why they had gone to play there as they don't know the kids and she felt uncomfortable about having the 2 yr old too.

What would you do?

Rosa x

**Honey Dew** · 09-05-2012, 07:19am

I would have a chat with their mum and tell her exactly what you've said here. It does seem a little weird a 6 yr old having 2 yr old sibling tagging along with her, as if the parents just want rid of her!

I'm a bit

about the wee one especially, but then again none of mine go out and about visiting alone because we're on a farm miles from anywhere and even my 9 yr old is in bed at 7 most nights (and ready for it!)

I definitely think you need to say something to the parents. When I was at school there were a brother and sister who would rock up at our place and you just couldn't get them away!! They wouldn't take a hint. My mum had to be very forthright with them or I reckon they'd still be there now!

**LorettaCastorini** · 09-05-2012, 08:06am

This happened here - some kids were constantly knocking on the door for my two to go out and play. I answered each time and said that my kids would call for them when they were able to - and that 7pm was h/wk time, not playtime iin this house. They got the message after a few nos.

**Rosa** · 09-05-2012, 08:28am

Its not so much the time of night tbh as I would just tell them they were not coming out to play, its more that if they send their kids round here, and i turn them away for whatever reason, they are probably still assuming the kids are here. I don't really want to start being responsible for their safety, to take them home I'd have to get all mine ready to go out and walk them back etc which I'm not doing.

**Rosa** · 09-05-2012, 08:30am

Honeydew I do think you are right, but I'm really not sure how to broach it without sounding like I am accusing her of neglect

Any ideas?

**Teresa** · 09-05-2012, 08:31am

I think I would have a word with the parents and explain what you have said here. I wonder if they even know where they are going. They are very young to be out and about on their own.

**Rosa** · 09-05-2012, 08:35am

The parents do know, they are incredibly laid back hippies and their kids have been allowed a lot of freedom very young. There are many examples which have made me a bit uncomfortable. However it is their choice I guess. The elder girl has a mobile, but she often leaves it lying around.

**bubblewrap** · 09-05-2012, 09:27am

To be honest, I wouldn't care if they thought I was accusing them of neglect - it IS neglect! I'd give my mobile number to the mother and ask her to text me to ask if my kids were wanting to play, and not to send the kids over until I've replied / said yes!

**Honey Dew** · 09-05-2012, 09:46am

Sorry! Not been back as kids came home and had football training and tea cooking!

Yeah, I'd tend to agree with bubblewrap. It's really not acceptable for a 2 yr old to be wandering around with a 6 yr old and no adult today.
How well do you know her?
I know it's hard, but I think you just need to tell it how it is. I can't believe she's not more concerned for her children's safety :sadno: there's free spirited hippy and plain irresponsible..

**Dr Spouse** · 09-05-2012, 09:50am

Ring the mum, tell her to come and get them, if she doesn't turn up, ring the police.
If you don't want to let them in, sit them in the porch or something?