How much of an allowance would you expect ?

[Miss Frosty]

Thats pants Miss F, both him not being well and whats happening now.

Now obv I don't know your DH so Im only guessing that he's probably onlu just realised how the finances worked while he was ill and he's pissed about it. Not nec at you just the situation - 8 months with no income is a long time.

My guess (based on own exp!!) is that he is just spitting the dummy because of not earning and saving for all that time and is just reacting without really seeing the whole picture.

Do you think he will calm down in a few days? I've learnt to let mr E throw his toys out the pram, make a load of stupid demands and plans and go along with it. 99% of the time he comes round to a more logical, sensible way of thinking once he has had a few days to think about it.

I think so tbh ! He is just narked that he hasn't been earning at all and now seeing the impact !

[bluekat]

Is he going back to work soon?

[bluekat]

TBH in answer to your original question, I would expect to have access to all the joint finances. An allowance is taking the piss. If I were you, I'd be finding some work and gaining some independence. Sorry.

[Miss Frosty]

BK , he is back at work just in the last couple of weeks ! He has just come through and said he thinks it might not be the best idea !!

[LibertyGal72]

TBH in answer to your original question, I would expect to have access to all the joint finances. An allowance is taking the piss. If I were you, I'd be finding some work and gaining some independence. Sorry.

I kind of agree with Bluekat here. And Dr Spouse makes many relevant and important points. Hope it does all blow over and that you can sort it out soon.

[bluekat]

BK , he is back at work just in the last couple of weeks ! He has just come through and said he thinks it might not be the best idea !!

What, being back at work? Has he gone back too early?

[Miss Frosty]

I agree liberty gal / bluekat !

He has just come through and said that he was being very selfish & didn't take in the consideration all the stress of when he was off & no money coming in and will continue to as before i.e both access to all accounts !

Result

Thanks Damsels xx

[Miss Frosty]

What, being back at work? Has he gone back too early?

No no , the allowance thing !!

[emgem]

BK , he is back at work just in the last couple of weeks ! He has just come through and said he thinks it might not be the best idea !!

Good! Because its not! I can't imagine it would be easy to manage household finances when he is not there four weeks out of every nine and from Angola to boot!!

If it was a case you had been massively overspending and not giving a thought to the circumstances you were in then maybe just maybe he would be justified but not in this situation imho.

Hope he has seen sense and you can decide a path which you are both happy with.

Leaving you in charge of the house, children and the day to day running of your lives but taking away access to funds is a fairly crap idea really! Dr S put it so much better than me though

[bluekat]

I agree liberty gal / bluekat !

He has just come through and said that he was being very selfish & didn't take in the consideration all the stress of when he was off & no money coming in and will continue to as before i.e both access to all accounts !

Result

Thanks Damsels xx

Great, glad he's come to his senses. You know it was all caused by extreme circumstances.

I hope he stays well.

I would still think about going back to work. Things are mental in the Subsea industry right now, you might be able to get something part time/remotely/deffo on your own terms. Worth a shot. Even if it means you have some back up if he's ever ill again.

xoxoxoxoxox

PS When you coming to ABz next time...I'm sure there are a couple of bottles of vino with our names on!!