Cost of living moan & WWYD if your outgoings exceeded your income?

**bubbasweet** · 21-05-2012, 09:00am

Childminders are cheaper and to be fair it's an expensive area to live, but I think nurseries have got a bit of a monopoly going as there's actually very few in the local area.

**Velvet Chain** · 21-05-2012, 09:25am

I remember when DS was born and I was looking at nurseries as I wanted to go back to work and got offered a nice job - BUT my take home salary would have been £1333 per month and nursery for ds would have been £1500 therefore there was no way that I was going to be worse off financially and hardly see my son.

**lisnic** · 21-05-2012, 10:29am

Nursery is expensive

We put ds in for 2 days a week even though I don't work just for his benefit of socialising learning to a structure etc (and he loves it!) and we are £300 a month

I budget food at 200 and fuel 100 a month and go over on both every month without fail even trying to stay within those amounts!

**violet wallop** · 21-05-2012, 01:32pm

Originally Posted by lisnic

Nursery is expensive

We put ds in for 2 days a week even though I don't work just for his benefit of socialising learning to a structure etc (and he loves it!) and we are £300 a month

I budget food at 200 and fuel 100 a month and go over on both every month without fail even trying to stay within those amounts!

I think this is quite an insensitive post given the difficulties others on this thread are facing.

**Bluebabe75** · 21-05-2012, 02:14pm

Originally Posted by bubbasweet

I won't be going back to work after mat leave because of childcare costs

3 days per week at our local nursery would cost £900 per month

Seriously? We pay between £400-500 a month for two days at nursery for Em and I thought that was expensive (it is invoiced based on the number of days she goes in a calendar month which is why it varies from month to month). It is only really worth me working because my Mum has her for one of the three days a week that I work - if I had to pay the £700ish for 3 days of nursery I'd be taking home so little after travel costs/lunches/work socialising that I'd probably be better off not working. Although, we're going to lose some of our child benefit next year as well, which annoyingly will cancel out the money I thought I'd save when Em gets the funded sessions from April

.

**Jelly** · 21-05-2012, 02:53pm

Originally Posted by violet wallop

I think this is quite an insensitive post given the difficulties others on this thread are facing.

How is agreeing about the high cost of nursery, and struggling to stay within a budget for food and petrol insensitive?

**lisnic** · 21-05-2012, 03:26pm

Originally Posted by violet wallop

I think this is quite an insensitive post given the difficulties others on this thread are facing.

Not how intended vw it was showing how things have got more expensive and although yes we can afford the extra costs that we are facing on these but to demonstrate that our original budget is now not accurate due to increased costs

Our position has changed dramatically in last couple years,prior to this we have many a time been in situation where don't quite have enough to draw a tenner and needing to swipe food/fuel etc to what is left in bank only.i appreciate how stressful and upsetting it can be

**lisnic** · 21-05-2012, 03:28pm

Originally Posted by Jelly

How is agreeing about the high cost of nursery, and struggling to stay within a budget for food and petrol insensitive?

You put it better than me without waffling lol thanks!

I understand though why you could think this though i.e. we pay £300 for nursery as a choice not as a need?and maybe out food/fuel budget are higher than some too? Apologies though

**Velvet Chain** · 21-05-2012, 04:08pm

FTR I didn't read your post lisnic as being insensitive but more along the lines of what jelly posted, about nurseries being so expensive.

**Jelly** · 21-05-2012, 04:52pm

Damsels are such a demographically diverse bunch that we're bound to have different situations.

**violet wallop** · 21-05-2012, 05:33pm

Originally Posted by Jelly

Damsels are such a demographically diverse bunch that we're bound to have different situations.

Well quite, but there is a massive difference between saying 'gosh, nurseries are expensive' and 'gosh, nurseries are expensive. I spend £300 a month on one and it's through choice, not need'. Having £300 a month to spend on an extra puts one in a fairly privileged position.

I wouldn't have batted an eyelid had it been said on another thread.

**Peony** · 21-05-2012, 05:54pm

I didn't realise there was an entry requirement for posting on threads violet.

Mrs Cheeso - do you pay your council tax over 10 or 12 months? Spreading it over 12 might help to balance the books throughout the year although we tend to use our two months 'off' to cover our home insurance annual premium.

**bubblewrap** · 21-05-2012, 06:08pm

vw, I don't think lisnic's post was out of place at all, and you are being oversensitive. People were saying how often their kids go, and how much it costs, and she did the same! I'd imagine she felt the need to say that it was their choice because if she hadn't, someone would have come on to the thread and questioned why her DS went to nursery when he didn't *need* to (for childcare at least).

**violet wallop** · 21-05-2012, 06:51pm

Seriously, read the first page of this thread again then tell me I'm being oversensitive.

How is saying that it's insensitive to post on this particular thread that you can afford to spend x amount on extras, when some people are genuinely struggling, saying that there is, or should be, an entrance requirement? I'm not advocating povvos only!

**bubblewrap** · 21-05-2012, 06:58pm

Originally Posted by violet wallop

Seriously, read the first page of this thread again then tell me I'm being oversensitive.

You are being oversensitive.

**Dr Spouse** · 21-05-2012, 07:04pm

Other people have also posted about luxuries, several saying they still spend on them.

**Queenie** · 21-05-2012, 07:10pm

Just because a nursery place isn't needed for childcare, that doesn't make it a luxury. My son goes to nursery because otherwise he would never get to see other children apart from his brothers. I work from home, so technically I don't "need" for him to be at nursery, but it's what I feel is best for him.
Surely we're all just trying to get through whatever kind of day we're having and manage to also do the best for our kids?
ETA, we only get the free hours each week, because there just aren't any places available for longer than that within a 20 mile radius.

**violet wallop** · 21-05-2012, 08:33pm

It is a luxury if it's something that the majority of families couldn't afford. That's not to say it isn't something that's worthwhile, but being able to afford nursery fees does put one is a fairly privileged position.

And yes, other people do say that they aren't given up all treats, but I wouldn't put the odd takeaway (or bottle of dandelion and burdock) in the same category as nursery fees, holidays, a pony, or whatever else takes your fancy.

I'll go and sit in my over-sensitive povvo corner now. Might entertain myself by counting my tins of Aldi beans.

**Queenie** · 21-05-2012, 09:31pm

I'm offended by your mention of Aldi. I live several hundred miles from the nearest discount supermarket, so I am forced to pay ridiculous prices, and can't afford beans. So your luxury beans are offensive to me and they are also grossly insensitive.

It's all relative really, innit? there will always be someone who has more or less that you, but that doesn't mean they don't struggle too.