Will it get easier? Please say yes!

[claireh]

Faith you always play devils advocate with anything I post about relating to breastfeeding. I don't mind, just saying. We clearly have different babies and different approaches. Both valid obviously.

Like all aspects of parenting everyone (and every baby) is different.

The advice I've posted is from successfully breastfeeding both my children for 10+ months. I'm no breastfeeding expert but I think I can show that the feed on demand /exclusive breastfeeding approach isn't for everyone and there can be another successful way.

In an ideal world everyone would be able to exclusively breastfeeding on demand but not all of us can. Sometimes by tweaking this 'ideal' some of us are able to continue breastfeeding longer than they would otherwise. I am just offering a different approach to the official exclusive / on demand approach that we are told to do.

[Chickenlips]

I personally wouldn't wake up a sleeping baby for a feed, if they need a feed they will let you know.

[Dr Spouse]

I personally wouldn't wake up a sleeping baby for a feed, if they need a feed they will let you know.

I know Baby S was not BF but we were told to do this at the start, because he was excessively sleepy (and I am pretty sure they'd have said it if he was BF too), and we still do for our own sanity (as his natural waking time is about an hour after we want to go to bed). Several people have said what you said to us, but babies are all different.

[creamcracker]

This thread has made me realise how different babies can be so i'm feeling reassured by everyone's responses that G and I will get through this!
I think my little lady is a little and often kind of girl so I'll be happy if we can stretch to 2 hours during the day at the moment. Im resigned to the full on evening marathon because I can't fault the lovely stretch of sleep afterwards!

My sister is staying with us from tomorrow for 3 weeks so that will keep us busy and mean lots of days out which hopefully will help with the timing inbetween feeds as I've noticed G goes longer on our busier days. If we are in the house all day she wants feeding constantly!

Thank you all again!

[Bert2e]

The hard thing about constant feeding is that it does make you very tired. It's really really tough but yes it will get easier.

How about aiming for 3 hour stretches to start with? Inbetween offer a dummy if she fusses. I think I remember you saying you were offering both sides in a previous post. I would do 20 minutes on one side. Wind and then the same on the other side. If she is still wanting to suck after that I would offer a dummy. If she is truly still hungry a dummy won't pacify her! If the dummy doesn't satisfy I would be tempted to offer a top up of formula.

The above approach will allow you both to recover/rest between feeds and I think it is good to encourage them to expect food at regular intervals throughout the day and not a constant stream of milk.

I would stick with the marathon feeds in the evening. It's great tanking them up in the evening and I'm sure getting the chunk of sleep will be doing you the world of good.

Claireh I'm really sorry but I'm with Faith, this is actually really harmful advice to give to someone who has a baby who isn't feeding efficiently.

Feeding 3 hourly will actually decrease the amount of milk she takes and adversely affect both her weight gain and CC's milk supply. As will restricting the length of feeds and giving a dummy. Giving top ups of formula again will quite possibly decrease CC's milk supply and given in a bottle may well cause even less efficient milk transfer (latch) as the latch changes to accommodate the teat of the bottle.

Small babies are designed to feed frequently as the fat and protein content of our milk does not support long gaps between feeds - mammals such as deer who leave their small babies on their own for long periods of time have much more fat and protein in their milk than we do.

CC I'd really strongly suggest that you go and see a BFC who can talk to you about what's going on here, check for a TT, check for thrush and assess your latch.

[creamcracker]

Thanks Bert2e.

Ive seen a BFC who checked for TT (nothing evident) and latch. She said the latch was good but that because Gwen has a small mouth her gape doesn't allow much breast tissue. She showed me some techniques for encouraging a wider mouth which I'm using as much as possible. Both G and I have thrush but very mildly. You can hardly see it on Gwens tongue now and ive got no symptoms but we're both being treated. I read about the daktarin oral gel on lisnics thread so I'm going to switch to this to see if we can knock it on the head.

Today has been really good. I paid more attention to the type of sucking and winded G more and kept an eye on the time spent on each breast. We managed 2x 2.5 hour stretches after 30 min feeds so I feel like progress has been made. It'll probably go pear shaped tomorrow when DH is in work but we'll see! This evening we're doing our usual marathon session so will hopefully have a good night.

HV coming tomorrow to weigh so fingers crossed we're still gaining!

[claireh]

Berte2 I am aware of all of the official breast feeding advice including the potential pitfalls of mixed feeding (including top up feeds).

I have clearly stated I am not a breastfeeding expert and am posting from personal experience. My approach to breastfeeding No 1 was with the support /advice from my GP FIL and his advice was further endorsed by SCBU after the birth of No2. His aim was to ensure my welfare as well as that of my baby. Sometimes the risk of topping up or spacing feeds is worth it for the benefit to the mum in getting a break.

My 1st was bf for 11.5 months and No 2 is feeding from me as I type. My approach worked incredibly well for me that is all I am saying.

There are several wonderful posters (yourself included) that post wonderful breastfeeding advice and support. I'm not taking away from that.

[Bert2e]

Sounds like a good day for you both! Lots of mums find that the exaggerated latch works really well with small mouths. www.kellymom.com has some excellent information on increasing weight gain in babies which you might like to have a look at including breast compression and simply feeding your baby more.

I'm sorry for being so bossy earlier but, as you might have guessed, correctly informed support for bf Mums and babies is something I'm really passionate about. I've seen far too many mums being set up to fail by people (including misinformed healthcare professionals) who think that they are helping but who actually are giving potentially damaging "advice". Mums have the right to correct information to allow them to make their own, informed, choices about how to feed their babies.

[Faith]

Have to say Claireh, nowhere in your original post did you state that it was from your own experience. It read as though you were posting accepted wisdom, not your own personal view. And as bert2e says, suggesting formula top ups and spacing feeds out in a baby that is struggling with weight gain can make things worse. If you're going to post that sort of thing, it needs a caveat as to why it isn't what most bf advisors would tell you, and why it might not work. If bert2e or I hadn't replied, cc could have followed your advice, thinking that's what she *should* be doing, rather than it being a suggestion that worked for one person but not for most people.

I have heard so much crap spouted about bf, and a lot of it is why bf rates are so low. The main myths are that a baby should feed every four hours, and frequent feeding means your supply is low. Frequent feeding is totally normal. For me, the only reason I managed to bf successfully was because I ignored all the advice given to me, I listened, then did my own research and decided based on what I thought would lead me to long term bf. And I'm sorry to say, if I'd listened to my GP or midwife I'd have formula fed pretty much from the beginning.

Bf is a delicate issue, you can't just say " this is what I did and it worked so you should do the same". People need to be informed, told the reasoning and why advice is being given, so they can decide what suits them.

[claireh]

I think I can say this is what I think. That is what Damsels is, a place where women support each other giving advice based on their experiences.

I have to say a lot of my friends gave up breastfeeding very early as they felt they couldn't do it 'right' (i.e. demand feed) and consequently didn't even try to breastfeeding their second children. That is a crying shame. Feeding on demand isn't for everyone, well it wasn't for me anyway.