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  1. #1

    Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Ds turned 2 Saturday and think someone told him he needs to start not listening being ridiculously boisterous to the point of not being safe fall in a heap when dont get own way and/or scream constant moaning etc

    It's been like this since Saturday and on and off before

    Today he was pissing about on the stairs that I basically told him to stop what he was doing as he was going to hurt himself then told him again if he didnt stop would be no bath straight tk bed and he messed more so I dragged him to his room closed the door and walked out.ok not most effective or best thing to do I imagine but I'd had enough

    Now I know the odd time it is a reaction to Ella but what he does and the timing I can tell what occasions are and what aren't

    Since Ella has arrived I've been doing the listen to mummy and talking to him and explaining things and this is working with explaining things like after ella has fed we will go have bath that sort if thing but not to get him to listen to an instruction and I have shouted at him a few times as a result which I don't like doing

    So what's the best way of getting through to him/disciplining him that he has to listen to me? I know he is only 2 but he needs some sort of discipline method for when he really is naughty not just a 2 year old testing boundaries

    Thanks












    baby max born 14.4.2010,mmc 6.12.2007,mmc 11.06.2008, mc 25.11.2008

  2. #2
    Damsel Diva Nicolab
    Location
    London
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    2,034

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Time Out works for us (sitting him down for 2 mins then explaining why he's there with a sorry and a hug at the end). However that said E is being a real toddler brat at the moment and I am shouting at him a lot which I'm sure isn't very PC but frankly he deserves it Prob doesn't help though!





  3. #3
    So I suppose I sort of did time out?he will no way sit on a step or something without getting off so would need to be removed to his room probably as all downstairs rooms have toys

    Maybe worth trying time out on a stool or something to see if he will stay put

    I kind of feel the same when I do shout that he needed it but do feel bad too when I do especially as Ella has not long arrived don't want him to think that's why I'm shouting not because of his behaviour!

  4. #4
    Damsel Diva Nicolab
    Location
    London
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    2,034

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Yes remember the guilt when Logan first born although Evan was only just 1 so think you have that harder.

    We don't use a naughty step or whatever just the floor which is better as universal e.g I've done time outs in Asda, front of my house with the neighbours watching and even the Mac shop in Westfield where he bolted round the back of the till and that place is the size of a postage stamp - most embarrassing

  5. #5
    Umm maybe that's worth a shot then

    I'm sure I will get a chance to try tomorrow!

  6. #6

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nicolab View Post
    We don't use a naughty step or whatever just the floor which is better as universal e.g I've done time outs in Asda, front of my house with the neighbours watching and even the Mac shop in Westfield where he bolted round the back of the till and that place is the size of a postage stamp - most embarrassing
    I use corners for much the same reason, there is usually a handy corner when needed

    DS has been put in 'time out' since he was really quite tiny, mainy for biting his sisters and mainly to show his sisters that the rules are the same for him even though we don't expect him to learn immediatly iyswim

    The main thing that works for him is a stern look and a stern voice, he's far more obedient than either of his sisters were

  7. #7
    Carpe Diem katkinn
    Location
    Kent
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    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Don't bother. It's like herding cats. Ignore them and try again when they're approaching 4.

  8. #8
    Damsel Diva
    Location
    kitty world
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    3,756

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Ours are not quite 2.5 and are only just starting to understand consequences, e.g. if you finish your dinner you can have a yoghurt. I think explaining consequences i.e. telling him there would be no bath if he didn't stop might be a bit early, but others may disagree. We tried naughty step with ours, but they seemed to like sitting on it. The other thing that worked when ours were 2, for instance if they weren't playing nicely, was to physically move them to another part of the room and say that they couldn't play with us because they weren't playing nicely, and if they wanted to, they had to stop e.g. hitting/throwing etc.

    This age is very difficult in terms of disciplining I think, but not doing it will only cause trouble later on. Short commands e.g. we don't throw toys have been advised by nursery. My 6 year old goes into long reasons why the behaviour is negative, and I have to remind her they can't take it all in!




  9. #9
    Muso Madwife
    Location
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    Quote Originally Posted by katkinn View Post
    Don't bother. It's like herding cats. Ignore them and try again when they're approaching 4.
    Agreed. They don't call it "the terrible twos" for nothing!
    Abigail( 11) Ivy (7) Betsy (5)
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  10. #10
    Damsel Diva
    Location
    here & there
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    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    My children didn't understand consequence at 2, if I tried to punish with say a time out they wouldn't associate it with their behaviour, they'd scream the place down and wonder why mummy was being to them.
    Ignore the bad and praise the good helps - don't react to bad behaviour (unless it's dangerous).

  11. #11
    I am being overly good boy well done etc etc as know this is what your meant to do ignoring the bad but sometimes I just can't and the bad needs some action as either he is being dangerous just silly or it's just been too much

    I think he sort of got it although I'm sure it won't make him think next time but he was sobbing mummy bath then mummy cuddle (guilt galore then!) when in his room.i did give him a bath after doing the sit on bed talk to him cuddle say sorry thing

    I do the short we don't throw/hit etc already but he takes no notice really!

    Yeah terrible 2s as soon as he turned 2 literally!! My friend who's son is 6weeks older said her son was the same like it ramped up a gear on his 2nd birthday

    Actions seem to the most like taking a juice cup off him if he is squirting it about after being told etc but can't do this with everything

    Maybe I'll just try ignore more and when I really can't do time out with him

  12. #12

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by katkinn View Post
    Don't bother. It's like herding cats. Ignore them and try again when they're approaching 4.
    WSS totally. Talking to my 2 yr old is like banging my head on a brick wall, not worth the hassle for either of us.

    My DS1 was a nightmare from 2 to 4 then got much more manageable (maybe I just got used to it ).
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  13. #13

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by katkinn View Post
    Don't bother. It's like herding cats. Ignore them and try again when they're approaching 4.

    This. Just remove them from anything they might hurt themselves doing.

  14. #14
    Wanky Crack Ho Ruby
    Posts
    5,957

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Quote Originally Posted by katkinn View Post
    Don't bother. It's like herding cats. Ignore them and try again when they're approaching 4.
    Agreed.

  15. #15
    Abnormal Damsel Mrs B
    Posts
    33,611

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Yeah, my 3 year old doesn't respond to anything. Literally tried everything, even smacking, doesn't work with her at all.

    Did with her brother, the thought of no bedtime story was enough to make him behave - you really have to tailor it to the child concerned, and you only know by trying different things. I do agree with a lot of Supernanny's techniques, have a google.

  16. #16
    Doughty Damsel Mrs Moss
    Location
    London
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    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    I used to ask myself 'are they likely to injure themselves or someone else'. If the answer is yes then I'd intervene. If they were really doing my head in then I'd put them in their (very high sided) cot for a short while - more for breathing space in extreme moments. Such a shame they don't make cots for 11 and 16 y olds

    Of course the best thing is to distract/ignore/praise the good but there are those times when it's just not working.

  17. #17
    Damsel Diva creamcracker
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    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    We're going through this too . My HV told me to ignore her unless she's doing something that could be dangerous/hurtful to herself or others. She doesn't get consequences yet but does react to having something taken away eg if she is purposely spilling juice it gets taken off her.
    I feel like i'm permanently shouting at the moment but I think a lot of it is her seeing the opportunity and wanting attention whilst i'm feeding G.



  18. #18

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    Standing them in the corner worked for all three of mine. I actually think that they understand it at some level when they are very young and their understanding develops as they get older. And if you start it very young they learn very quickly not to run off.

    I go for understanding that they are two and testing to help me not get too wound up about it, but I certainly think they are old enough to be disciplined at two.

  19. #19
    Mummy of 2 gorgeous ones Lovebug
    Posts
    10,119

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    I just ignore them and I tell them when they start misbehaving I am ignoring you until you behave and the reason why and carry on whith what I am doing 90% of the time this works as they want attention and I am not giving it them




  20. #20
    Damsel Diva
    Location
    Berks
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    6,161

    Re: Way to discipline a 2 year old?

    With drinks, they get taken away if thrown with a reason why, jumping about, gets removed from furniture, stairs etc into a safer room, being mean to a sibling results in splitting them up. Easier said then done, though.

    Mine (even the 7 yr old) play up when I am least likely to be able to stop what I am doing - cooking is a real flashpoint, as is me having to get ready for work. I've actually had to harden myself not to respond to every scream but when they are in that mood, sometimes you just have to watch them, which is easier said than done.

    It can really help if you set them up with an activity when you have to be out of the room for a while - e.g. a favourite DVD, toy. Most of it is attention seeking. Every time he misbehaves, you have to come into the room and he'll up the ante if he is not getting it. So, I find ignoring can make the problem worse because you'll have to come in anyway if he is trying to kill himself or sister and you need nerves of steel to do it, which you won't have if you are rushing through something and stressed anyway.

    I wish there were a magic cure for it and it is something I really don't enjoy about small children. 2 is still very young and he won't remember instructions/rules for long and a lot of it is down to you being on top of the game, which, with 2 under 3s, is quite a mountain of a task. Make sure you get enough sleep and a break, which will make it easier for you to cope and remember he'll be at pre-school within the next year, too!

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