Is it OK to invite a mix of couples and girlfriends?

**noo noo** · 17-04-2012, 12:12pm

I have a significant birthday coming up in October and I'm currently planning what to do to celebrate. I have a lot of friends that we socialise with as couples and they will obviously be invited however I also have some female friends who's husbands I don't even know/have never actually met. It it OK to just invite them without their other halves? Or is that a bit off is there are other couples there? Cost and space are limiting factors. Thanks for any input. x

**lisnic** · 17-04-2012, 12:21pm

I would invite the ohs too.they may not come and the ladies may all agree not to bring ohs between them but I'd find it odd if I got invited to something without dh and visa versa

**claireh** · 17-04-2012, 12:24pm

I think strictly speaking it would look a tad odd not to invite your friends OH's if other friends are coming with their partners.

The only way round it I think would be to speak to your friends to explain. If they are good friends I'm sure they will be fine with it.

**Anne** · 17-04-2012, 12:41pm

I too would invite their partners, its gonna look a bit odd otherwise.

**Booh** · 17-04-2012, 01:00pm

You'd need to invite partners too.

DH has his 40th in a couple of months, and he has a few friends who I know well, but woulnt know their OH's if they ran me over

However, I have invvited them too. But I do have to say, three partners are not coming......!

**noo noo** · 17-04-2012, 01:02pm

OK thanks - Think it just going to have to be couple friends then. Can't bring myself to pay for folk I don't even know or want to be there

**Booh** · 17-04-2012, 01:32pm

Originally Posted by noo noo

OK thanks - Think it just going to have to be couple friends then. Can't bring myself to pay for folk I don't even know or want to be there

I had this thought too.......however, DH is paying (yes for his own party

)

**Fiz** · 17-04-2012, 01:42pm

Could you meet up with the OHs before the party? Or is it a matter of numbers? I wouldn't invite them without their OH, especially if everyone else gets to bring theirs!

**noo noo** · 17-04-2012, 01:48pm

I guess it is a matter of numbers. What I'm planning is based on a cost per head and I'm loathe to pay for people who aren't actually my friends. Its not really a case of everyone else getting to bring along their OH's - their OH's are actually my friends IYSWIM.

**Miss_Jane** · 17-04-2012, 02:02pm

Will all the women there whose partners are not coming all know each other? I think it would be fine if they know each other.

Could you mention that you have been invited to something without your OH and see if they think it is strange or not?

**Dink** · 17-04-2012, 02:16pm

It's your birthday, so do what you want!

I don't see a problem actually in mixing couples and girlfriends, so long as more than one girlfriend is coming. Personally, I wouldn't want ohs to come to a birthday celebration just because they are a "half". In other situations such as party at home or something more "social" I might say otherwise, but a meal out? Let's just say I wouldn't be going to dh's friends birthday if I didn't know them.

**Dink** · 17-04-2012, 02:18pm

Originally Posted by Miss_Jane

Could you mention that you have been invited to something without your OH and see if they think it is strange or not?

This is probably the most clever idea I've heard in a long time!

**Laneyjaney** · 17-04-2012, 02:27pm

I wouldn't like to leave partners out seems odd. Could you do a buffet or something different to cut down on cost so that everyone can be invited?

**CaroCaro** · 17-04-2012, 02:31pm

Why dont you have a word with them and say you really want them there but dont have room to invite spouses. I have done this but they were with people that I knew well and who would not have taken it the wrong way. I actually quite like going to do's where Mr CC is not invited where he doesnt know people. And likewise he has been to things without me - we can then enjoy ourselves without worrying that he is bored

**katkinn** · 17-04-2012, 02:34pm

I absolutely see where you're coming from and of course it makes sense and to me it's the same thing as day guests and evening guests for a wedding. To my mind it's a clear indication of who are your closer friends. Which is fine if everyone know that, iyswim!!

So long as people won't be pissed off that other people's DHs have been invited.

Would it maybe not be easier to just have a huge girls night? And then go have something else on a smaller scale with your closer couple friends?

**schnapps** · 17-04-2012, 02:41pm

Originally Posted by CaroCaro

Why dont you have a word with them and say you really want them there but dont have room to invite spouses. I have done this but they were with people that I knew well and who would not have taken it the wrong way. I actually quite like going to do's where Mr CC is not invited where he doesnt know people. And likewise he has been to things without me - we can then enjoy ourselves without worrying that he is bored

I would do this if you can. I went to a wedding last year on my own (but with 3 girlfriends) as my friend had limited numbers and doesn't know my DH or the other OH's very well. I was fine with it and so was he (and as aside saved having to sort out childcare!!).

**Rosa** · 17-04-2012, 03:43pm

I think its a bit odd to not invite the DHs, but maybe say something to the girls like "obviously if they dont fancy it then they don't have to come". We are often invited to things as a couple (by my friends who don't know DH) and I usually just go on my own, I like getting in a chatting and don't want to think about DH not knowing anyone etc, plus as schnapps says it removes the childcare issue

**January** · 17-04-2012, 05:15pm

Depends what you're planning.

If it's a stand up, free roaming type of thing with a buffet then it might be considered a bit off not to invite them but if it's a sit down affair with a formal meal, I wouldn't think they'd expect to be invited.

**LibertyGal72** · 18-04-2012, 12:20am

If a friend was having a party/celebrating a significant occasion I think it would be a bit off if my OH wasn't invited.

**popinjay1** · 18-04-2012, 05:58am

I would talk to the friends in question, explain the limited numbers. I know if a friend who didn't know my oh (if I had one lol) said this to me I would be fine with it. I do think u need to explain though before sending the invite. If their good friends they should understand surely?