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  1. #1
    Snorks 6, Mr Baby 3! parkejm
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    UK
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    26,976

    Separation Anxiety in a 4.5yr old

    Has anyone else experienced this? I don't know what's got into Oscar but he is absolutely breaking my heart when I leave him. It's not just when I leave him at nursery, but if I pop out to the car or the shop (less than 30 mins away) and also at bedtime. He just breaks down totally, sobbing and clinging on to me. His speech/vocab etc are really good but he just clams up and says he doesn't want me to go. He wants lots and lots and lots of cuddles and kisses and obviously I can't stay there all day or night kissing him.

    This morning he was sobbing again at nursery whilst Oren at 18 months just wandered off to the sand pit and didn't give me a second glance.

    I can't think of anything that will have made him feel insecure. Just wondered if a) this is normal at this age and b) what I can do about it.
    xx Hermie xx
    xx Snorks xx
    xx Mr Baby xx

  2. #2
    Damsel Diva
    Location
    Berks
    Posts
    6,173

    Re: Separation Anxiety in a 4.5yr old

    My daughter was (and still can be a bit like this). It always made me feel a bit guilty for working but what can you do? Could you work with nursery to have some sort of incentive scream like a sticker chart for when he doesn't cry? We did this with DD last year at school and it worked quite well.

  3. #3
    Snorks 6, Mr Baby 3! parkejm
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    26,976

    Re: Separation Anxiety in a 4.5yr old

    I could do We'd have to follow it for bedtimes and if I'm just popping out too. Thanks for replying

    The puzzling thing is that he's been fine with me leaving him at nursery ever since he was about 2yrs old. He got a bit tearful and emotional at Christmas but was otherwise fine. It's just this last week where it's all escalated. I'm just scared that this is going to happen in September when he starts school and has to go

  4. #4
    Damsel Diva Swiss Babe
    Location
    Living the American dream!
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    2,302

    Re: Separation Anxiety in a 4.5yr old

    Are they talking about school much at nursery? I remember the six months before DD1 started school and they kept talking about 'big school' and 'preparing them' etc etc. I imagine that would be quite unsettling.

  5. #5
    Got husband, need wife! Dr Spouse
    Location
    In my mad scientist laboratory, getting children to do difficult things
    Posts
    13,395
    One recommendation for children of this age is something of yours to take with them, or a note from you if they can read (or maybe a picture to keep looking at).

  6. #6

    Re: Separation Anxiety in a 4.5yr old

    My two go through varying degrees of neediness. To be honest my girl is quite physically independent however my son has always needed so much more in the way of cuddles/physical contact. In some ways he's so much more confident than his sister.

    Has anything changed lately to make him feel insecure? My DS always need more cuddling when he feels his world has been wobbled slightly. DD need reassurance indifferent way...
    DD aged 6 yrs
    DS aged nearly 5 yrs

  7. #7
    Damsel Diva Superkat
    Location
    In the middle of a mess
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    2,352
    DS has been like this on and off since pre-school. Usually he is fine going in but sometimes he just needs that we but extra reassurance when going to school. He will be 7 tomorrow and has been doing it lately as we are moving house soon and I am pregnant with LO number two, he has said a few times that he 'doesn't like change' and wishes we could all just stay the same


    Loving being mummy to the crazy whirlwind that is Toby

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