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  1. #1
    30-something Damsel bubbasweet
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    Surrey
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    How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    I'm not a debt person as such (lucky not to need to be I suppose) - I have a credit card but its' a back up so I rarely use it and if I do it gets paid off within a month or two.

    DH's attitude to debt/credit worries me sometimes. We're not struggling financially by any means. We have a good joint income and mortgage within our means etc. However he's got what I would consider to be a significant amount on credit cards, which he periodically shuffles around onto another 0% card and has a direct debit for the minimum repayments set up, although rarely spends on them (I check the statements to make sure the debt isn't getting any larger!). He doesn't seem to see it as a problem, and seemingly forgets about it.

    We've recently been looking into having the double glazing replaced on our home, and DH wants to build a garage. We have quotes for both and the windows we can afford to get done, but the garage we can't without borrowing some money. So he called me this morning and asked me to look into getting a loan, circa 10k in order to get the garage built this summer. He is desperate to have a garage for 'man' things/activities, whereas we need to get the windows done for a variety of reasons.

    He seems to be very 'now' about getting things done, not considering saving up for something instead, or doesn't want to have to wait I suppose. I know we're going to have to have an awkward conversation this evening where (again) I explain that I worry about his attitude to debt and credit cards, and that I really don't think borrowing 10k at the moment is a good idea, especially in light of the fact that in a year's time I won't have any income at all when my SMP runs out. More to the point, we need to start getting his credit cards properly paid off. My nostly unextravagant outgoings are covered by what I earn so I don't really have any spare cash to put towards it, although probably will now I'm not at work.

    Sorry, that's a bit of a brain dump. I'm not looking for solutions as it's obvious what the solution is, but I just wondered if anyone else had very different habits to their DH? Or are you the one with your head in the sand

  2. #2
    Chief Damsel Damsella
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Your DH = me

    You = my OH

    Last edited by Damsella; 12-04-2012 at 02:54pm.
    Call me (Mrs) Damz

  3. #3

    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    DH never has debt. Pays everything off. But he is very "now", If he has the money and wants something, he'll buy it, whereas I'll leave it a couple of months, do my research, and buy the best value if we still want it.

    I do the shuffling stuff on credit cards. However, I am very good at managing money, and only do it if the interest rate is beneficial. So say I have 10k debt on credit cards at 0%, I won't pay them off if the money in my savings account is earning 2.5 %, I'll just shuffle from card to card.

    I am a total control freak though, and do all the admin for DH's business so he can only spend what I give him .

    With your situation- can you find a windows company that will do you a 0% repayment, and use your savings for the garage? Will save you a whole lot of interest. Or point out to him that if he pays his credit cards, he can use a 0% to pay for the garage/windows... Or I'd look at borrowing against the mortgage, interest is usually lower, plus less early repayment penalties. But i'd definitely add the whole lot of debt up and discuss how you're going to repay it over the next 2 years...

  4. #4

    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    We are both exactly the same, hate debt. We save for everything - cars etc. No loans apart from our mortgage and never have had any.

  5. #5
    Damsel Diva Dink
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    We are both fairly cautious about what we spend. When we get to the point where we do incur debt, it's always easier to get more debt I find. For example: household project is usually our source of debt. So we get everything for the project, then, while we are in the hole we feel it is easier to take on a nother project or two and incur more debt.

    How we pay our debt off, though is totally different. I always want to use some of our savings to pay, dh wants to continue to save while we are trying to pay off debt, so then everything takes so much longer. I suppose we are sort of opposites in that. We are fairly compatible in our comfort level with debt though (as in we stop at reasonable amounts).

    Stand your ground! You've made extremely valid points. Only take on the debt you need now (windows). I would probably offer the compromise. Windows now, garage after he pays his credit cards off. Or, wait on the garage until after your baby is born and you both have a better idea of your household budget. Either you figure out how to live on less money by then, or realize you need all of your money for essentials.

  6. #6
    30-something Damsel bubbasweet
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    Surrey
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Faith, I think I probably need to take over his financial affairs and pay him a salary from his own earnings I wouldn't mind getting the loan if I felt we had the money spare to pay for it, but with all the credit card debt, I feel a bit like this

    I never used to be so sensible or cautious with money - seven/eight years ago I couldn't have got a credit card and had debt collectors calling me all the time DH on the other hand went from earning 8k to 35k overnight at the age of 22, (the TV industry is weird!) and I think it all went to his head

    ETA: I won't be going back to my current job as it's in London and I don't earn enough to warrant commuting all that way, plus adding on childcare costs means that I'd only be breaking even. I am hoping to do some work, but what i don't quite know!
    Last edited by bubbasweet; 12-04-2012 at 02:54pm.

  7. #7
    Invisable Chell
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    Luckily DH and I have the same attitude, we both hate debt. The only thing we owe is the cost of our sofas. We had the money saved for them but DFS offer 0% finance and you don't get a discount for paying up front. We used the cash for something else and pay the sofas monthly.
    DS July 2003, DD1 January 2005, DD2 August 2008

  8. #8
    SUMMER is here! Skipping Girl
    Location
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    DH and I have a similar attitude to money although I am the more cautious one, he is the buy-it-now although only if it is within our means (no cc debt, just mortgages).

    It sounds like a conversation to be had. Hope it's not as difficult as you think. You don't have to spend heaps when you have the baby, but you do need to think about what your joint income and outgoings will be when you're not getting a salary.

    Kat
    x

  9. #9
    Tea Lady Damsel Booh
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Quote Originally Posted by Damsella View Post
    Your DH = me

    You = my OH

    Same as us

    DH controls the purse strings..... I love to spend spend spend spend spend........

  10. #10
    Never used to bother either of us really as long as repayments were well within our means

    We have had loans and credit cards and always car finance

    However in last year we have saved house deposit and to get best house/mortgage we have also paid everything off so we owe nothing except the car but that's the last thing and the rest is being paid off that when dh gets back from work hopefully

    From now it's If cash isn't in bank the. We don't go on holiday/get new sofa/car et












    baby max born 14.4.2010,mmc 6.12.2007,mmc 11.06.2008, mc 25.11.2008

  11. #11
    Damsel Diva Moffgal
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Over the years DH has reined me in re my spending, I used to be terrible in my early twenties. Combination of rubbish pay, first time living on my own and still wanting to be able to go out, buy new clothes etc. Racked up about 4k and got a loan to clear it and pay it off.

    Now we're on the same wavelength, hate debt and the mortgage is the only thing we owe. Like Chell we took advantage of the 0% credit when we bought our sofa and dining furniture.

    Oh, DH does have his van on HP but there are more tax advantages to keep swapping for a new van every time the current one is paid off, and DH has the money in savings to pay it off in full if he ever needed to.





  12. #12
    Doesn't give a *!* Damsel DillyDally
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    We are similar - but it's my (good, in my opinion ) habits rubbing off on him. We save up for things - holidays, house improvements, whatever.

    I know we are unusual though, borrowing rates have risen over the last ten years (in the UK) whereas saving has fallen (I would give source, but my course book is upstairs ). My parents taught me that if you don't have the money for something, then you have to save it up, not bung it on a credit card. It would make me to have loads of credit card debt.
    Dilly xx

    Clean Sweep - my decluttering and home organisation blog.
    Don't save things for best - make every day your best day.

  13. #13
    Damsel Diva
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    We've got similar attitudes to money -we're both incredibly tight and no debts. We use credit cards for air miles but these are paid off in full monthly.
    He's more spontaneous with his spending occasionally but within our means.
    My job is so uncertain ATM, DH works for himself I wouldn't want to commit to anything financial right now.

  14. #14
    Ignoring the rain LibertyGal72
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Your DH = me

    You = my OH
    libertygal


    Kathy Lette: ...women are each other's human Wonderbras uplifting, supportive and making each other look bigger and better.

  15. #15

    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    My DH used to be like yours and we used some of our wedding budget to clear the credit cards he had and had a smaller wedding. We (well,l I) didn't want to start married life in debt.

    Since then (and since having a joint account that everything goes through) I've kept an eye on it all and we've been savers not spenders.

  16. #16
    Damsel Diva
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    Berks
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    6,163

    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    My DH thinks nothing of spending on big things such as windows, garages but seems to count every penny, which annoys me no end. For example, I've been to the shops and bought the kids a couple of magazines and he will be giving me the third degree about how much they cost.

    For a large purchase, I would have to think about it. However, in your situation, I'd do it now because, if you don't, you probably won't for a few years because of your financial situation plus you won't want the disruption with a small baby/young child so I do agree with him in that respect. I find my DH nested in this way when I was pregnant with DD. I would be putting it on the house, though, and certainly not credit cards or loans.

  17. #17
    Damsel Diva Peony
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    NE UK
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    Me and DH are almost opposites. If we weren't together I'd have a fortune in the bank and sit on wood pallets whereas DH would be skint but stitting in a Ferrari. He encourages me to spend on nice things and I temper the lifestyle he aspires to but can't afford.

    FWIW I think if you have equity in the house then 10k on a garage isn't a 'bad' debt to have. It isn't as though he's blowing 10k in a casino or down the pub. At least you'll have something to show for it. Maybe just figuring out with him how you are going to manage the repayments once you're on SMP will make you both see if you can really afford it.

  18. #18
    Got husband, need wife! Dr Spouse
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    We are similar in that we mostly pay off debts, and look on the mortgage as a different class of debt. We have a flexible mortgage and we got our windows done (again pretty urgent) by extending the mortgage.
    We do have some savings but it was actually cheaper to do it that way, same as it can be cheaper to have 0% cards and savings, but always pay off the cards. I did that for a bit but it was a pain to keep shuffling them so now we go for cashback.
    I think we are both naturally slightly stingy, but hopefully in a sensible way (my mum won't ring my mobile even in an emergency because it's too expensive, but is not at all badly off, and it can be awkward when someone is that stingy!)

  19. #19
    Super fit Damsel Velvet Chain
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    Re: How comfortable are you with debt compared with your DH/OH?

    We used to be really opposite with me waiting until we had the money before doing anything and him taking out a loan willy nilly without thinking things through....now if we don't have the money, we don't get it/do it, so we put money buy each month so that if there is something that we want/need to do then we have the money available - the reason being is that you don't know what will happen in the future, job situation, health etc etc and I don't want a loan hanging over my head.

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