Anyone else feel like this when planning a wedding :-(

**ChelseaHarvey** · 06-04-2012, 12:42pm

I no it's "our" wedding our special day but I feel like no one else is really bothered about it.. There seems no excitement from anyone by this I mean my parents. My dad doesn't really seem bothered about it, never asks how I am getting on/how the plans are coming, where I'm at, if I need a hand with anything, anything he can help with, tie up any loose ends etc.

My mum seems more bothered about what her dress is like/what she is going to look like & also that I have lost the weight by the time I get married, when ever we speak/see one another she never mentions the wedding etc "Ohhh only 5 months to go, come on your need to shift the weight tone up you don't want to be a fat bride, you will hate looking back at your pictures" & asks me what I'm eating, exercise I am doing, it's starting to get annoying.

OH's parents never phone to ask how the plans are coming anything they can help with, again any loose end, friends never ask me how I'm getting on, how plans are coming along

I kind of wish now that with 13 of my family members not coming because of a fall out with my mum, they haven't spoke in years (& I don't have a big family) so that now leaves 5 family members with me on my big day that we now had done something a lot smaller & even gone abroad & done it

My nan who I really wanted there isn't coming I doubt now, I kept the getting married to this year as she has been so ill & I don't think she will be here next year..

I'm saving like mad to have a really special day, it is for me & OH & we only plan on doing. It once & want the day we have always talked about, but I wish thee was just some excitement from others especially family members.

When friends have got married I'm always excited asking how things are going especially nearer the time & asking if there is anything I can do to help..

We are paying for the whole thing ourself yet I have my mum, saying about x & y coming who I don't even no & a say in music & other thingsb& same as OHs dad saying to invite a aunty who he has not seen since he was a baby... With family members not coming & a lot of OHs family coming I'd rather not now thinking going abroad would have been the better option but then it wouldn't have been the day that we had wanted anyway..

Guess I just miss the excitement from others & the not talking about the wedding with people. When out & about & I see other brides with there parents there so excited you can hear & seed it I just wish I was getting that...

**Lomie** · 06-04-2012, 12:49pm

yes, I feel like that a bit from my parents side as they havent really made any effort to be involved, however thats just what theyre like I think and if I asked them I think theyd help out with something specific, your wedding day should be just what you both want not done for others-would it be too late to scale down slightly if youre worried about money etc?

**lisnic** · 06-04-2012, 12:52pm

Ch can you write a nice letter to your gran say you changed date as you really want her to share it with you etc but if she still chooses not to come then you will be sad but accept it

It seems her not being there is more bothering than the other 12?

Your mum always seems obsessed with your weight which really annoys me!any weight threads you posts she has always said something she needs to be told to shut up!can dean have a word to say her comments are not helping?

Men don't tend to get as excited or involved my dad just paid the bills tried on suit etc when I said and fil even less!

If this is your dream day stick with it otherwise you and Dean may regret it and just enjoy it with those who are there

Hugs x

**ChelseaHarvey** · 06-04-2012, 01:11pm

Originally Posted by Lomie

yes, I feel like that a bit from my parents side as they havent really made any effort to be involved, however thats just what theyre like I think and if I asked them I think theyd help out with something specific, your wedding day should be just what you both want not done for others-would it be too late to scale down slightly if youre worried about money etc?

No not worried about money or anything (well not yet)

were fine on that front it's just I wis ph there was some excitement from others..

**ChelseaHarvey** · 06-04-2012, 01:15pm

Lisnic it is my nan to be honest I'm not that bothered about the other family members I don't really see/talk to them the last time was 4 years ago at my nans 70th but it's just these sort OGs occasions are when we all do see each other/get together which is what I was hoping would happen with the wedding. Course it would be nice to see them & have them share our special day but it's my nan I will be really gutted at

I think though it is because she won't have the support of the family to back her up is going to he in a room with my mum & she won't know anyone else really... She is using her health at the mo to be a excuse as to why she may not be there which I get & understand & if she is ill around the wedding I will get that's why she can't be there but I think it's the my mum & her being there having not spoke in a good 6/7 years & also having no one else she knows there

**kittikins** · 06-04-2012, 01:20pm

Ch couldn't read this and not reply. Firstly, I wonder if your mum's lack if enthusiasm is because she feels bad that the other close family aren't attending. It would be nice if she tried to compensate by getting extra excited for you though.

I also wonder if people are less enthusiastic when people have children rather than getting married first. Please dont think I'm judging you, I'm really not, and wonder what other brides on here who had children first think? Maybe people don't see it differently, it's just a thought.

Lastly, I wish your mum would stop pestering you about your weight. There's a whole psychological study to be written in how that impacts on you negatively, and why she does it, but that's another story. The truth is G, you have 2 beautiful boys, and you are GORGEOUS , I know I've seen your photos. You will look stunning on your wedding day, and will make you boys proud. So what if you're carrying some baby weight. Tell her to zip it if she says it again, or ask her how she thinks that make you feel.

**kittikins** · 06-04-2012, 01:24pm

Apologies for spelling errors btw iPod being a pain. One thought- couldn't you say sod it and cancel and go abroad?

**ChelseaHarvey** · 06-04-2012, 01:50pm

KK my mum had been like this since we booked it in Oct 2011 it's only been the last 2 weeks family members have said about not going

Going abroad isn't what OH or I want. We want a big wedding in a country hotel so it wouldn't be our dream day if wedud that. We have slain spent outdoor of money already all suits for 9 have already been bought deposits for everything have been paid...

I def don't want to go abroad though was just saying that with family members not bring present having people there (OHs dude) I'd rather not having a small wedding should have been the way to go hit stein it's not that we want...

Just wish there was done excitement there from others. OH feels the same about it & no excitement from his family he only hears from them when he phones them

**bluekat** · 06-04-2012, 02:32pm

Please don't lose any (or too much) weight for your wedding. Contrary to what your mum says brides always, always, always look better with a bit of meat on their bones!

My mum used to have a wedding dress shop and she always said the best size for brides was a curvy 14. You need to have something to put in your dress.

Skinny brides look ill/swamped by their gown.

**donna-j** · 06-04-2012, 04:13pm

Your mum has an unhealthy obsession with your weight.

I don't get excited about other people's weddings. I just don't. I think you have to just have to do it for yourself rather than what everyone else is thinking.