Is this particularly unreasonable?

**parkejm** · 28-03-2012, 10:15am

I agree with everyone else, she's the one being unreasonable and I just don't get how she doesn't understand the issue

**Samba** · 28-03-2012, 10:23am

I think I'd just tell her if she can sort out childcare, then you'll go, but you've exhausted all your avenues for sitters.
Stupid woman

**scatterbrain** · 28-03-2012, 10:38am

What about travelling up with the kids & seeing them during the day for a special lunch or something. Then you & the kids stay in a local hotel that evening & just your DH goes to the party. That way you've all celebrated her birthday in one way or another and she can't argue about the effort you've made.

She probably still won't like it, but must appreciate it's not you being difficult by having no overnight childcare. Some people can be so focussed on themselves somethimes!

**helpimfalling** · 28-03-2012, 10:47am

Damned if you do damned if you dont raaah just like my MIL

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**Velvet Chain** · 28-03-2012, 10:53am

I think she is being very unreasonable, not everyone has available childcare so if someone insists that the parties are childfree (which I have no problem with btw) then they have to accept that not everyone can come.

**Jelly** · 28-03-2012, 10:55am

Even if I did manage to sort childcare now, I wouldn't go since she's caused a fuss. I am a bit stubborn like that

**Dr Know** · 28-03-2012, 10:57am

I think she's being incredibly unreasonable tbh. If it were me, DH would be going alone. Or possibly not at all. End of. I happen too to think that it's absolutely incomprehensible that she won't 'allow' her OWN GRANDCHILDREN to attend the party. I would be having her on toast for that reason alone. She patently wants to play Queen Biatch and make life as complicated as possible for everyone. Being a terrible cynic, I would even go as far as to say that it seems she might want to cause problems between you and your DH.

**Abbie** · 28-03-2012, 11:15am

Originally Posted by Jelly

Even if I did manage to sort childcare now, I wouldn't go since she's caused a fuss. I am a bit stubborn like that

Er...yes, that's pretty much where I'm at to be honest

We probably could find a hotel, get a sitter, etc, but it's more expense on top of the £50 ferry and £80 fuel costs, so I'm not up for spending a fortune on it.

She doesn't understand how childcare is a problem for us as her other kids have sorted it, but DH's brother and one of his sisters don't have kids to begin with and the other sister who does have kids has split up from her husband so her kids stay with their Dad at weekends.

Normally, it wouldn't be a problem and we've been to as many parties as we can but that particular weekend is a no-no.

And it's 6 months away, and she's being an utter PITA about it already.

**Damsella** · 28-03-2012, 11:21am

Originally Posted by Jelly

Even if I did manage to sort childcare now, I wouldn't go since she's caused a fuss. I am a bit stubborn like that

Ditto

Just think how relaxed you'll be for the next six months, knowing you're not going and therefore being able to ignore all the inevitable fuss she'll be making!