Is this particularly unreasonable?

**sticky_honey87** · 27-03-2012, 10:10pm

You're not being unreasonable at all, you can't just leave your children with anyone! I do think that your MIL is being awkward. She can't have it all her way and I would expect her to be able to compromise with three valid and fair options you have open.

**annie hall** · 27-03-2012, 10:12pm

Having no reliable childcare is just non-negotiable, but just out of interest, ask her what she thinks the solution is!

**katkinn** · 27-03-2012, 10:13pm

I think kicking up a stink is plain rude as I would think it rude for anyone to do that over not accepting an invitation. It's completely within your rights to accept or decline an invite for whatever reason and for someone to get shirty is just plain off.

I also think that you've offered a solution in bringing the kids and getting a babysitter which sounds to me like a good option (unless the party is in her house and I can see why she wouldn't want them there). I can also see that she might not want them around that weekend, but to then get huffy when you say you can't go, yes I think that's slightly childish.

However I would have thought surely an easier plan for you guys would be to get each of the girls to do a sleepover at a friends? Win win surely? If it's only for one night, surely the girls have friends they could stay with? I've certainly looked after a couple of friends' kids when they've gone away for the night. Somewhat more tricky for me to dispose of 3 when the littlest is only 3! Won't be long though......!!

**noo noo** · 27-03-2012, 10:15pm

How old are your kids? And how long would you be away for? Couldn't they go to friend's for a sleepover if its just one night?

**katkinn** · 27-03-2012, 10:16pm

Originally Posted by noo noo

How old are your kids? And how long would you be away for? Couldn't they go to friend's for a sleepover if its just one night?

Aha! Great minds. Obvious option to me!

**Abbie** · 27-03-2012, 10:29pm

They're 10 and 5. DD1 would go to a sleepover no probs, but DD2 wouldn't overnight, and none of our friends can have them overnight anyway. (it's Besival here the same weekend so all our friends over here are going to that and the only people I could ask back home are also on holiday)

The party is in their local pub but I agree it's not ideal having the girls at her house

It's also so much easier if DH goes on his own, he can Redjet/train it for half the cost and travelling time of us all getting the car ferry and driving up and to be quite honest, I don't want to go

.

**Abbie** · 27-03-2012, 10:42pm

Actually, DD2 is 6, too late to edit

She's just really funny about being away from home and with people who aren't me, DH, my parents or MiL. She's ok with a sitter for a few hours, but not over night

**redhed** · 27-03-2012, 11:04pm

I'm not understanding this at all. How had she imagined this was going to work?

Either:
a) your DH goes and you stay home or
b) someone takes your kids overnight (either a relative or a close friend, then, so she can't be assuming this will work out as she hasn't checked availability) or
c) your kids come with you and you get a babysitter

b) hasn't worked out because of the dates she's chosen - unfortunate but just one of those things - and a) and c) are unacceptable to her. But I'm not seeing any other options.

So, either she is a sandwich short of a picnic or I am missing something. No?

**Abbie** · 27-03-2012, 11:07pm

Originally Posted by redhed

So, either she is a sandwich short of a picnic or I am missing something. No?

She's a sandwich short of a picnic I think!

She's always been incredibly precious about her birthday (last year she threw a wobbly because DH didn't send her a birthday card, even though he did Inter Flora her a huge bouquet of flowers) so I think she's just having a Diva Strop

**Honey Dew** · 28-03-2012, 04:14am

Originally Posted by redhed

I'm not understanding this at all. How had she imagined this was going to work?

Either:
a) your DH goes and you stay home or
b) someone takes your kids overnight (either a relative or a close friend, then, so she can't be assuming this will work out as she hasn't checked availability) or
c) your kids come with you and you get a babysitter

b) hasn't worked out because of the dates she's chosen - unfortunate but just one of those things - and a) and c) are unacceptable to her. But I'm not seeing any other options.

So, either she is a sandwich short of a picnic or I am missing something. No?

Totally this!!

She's being a complete princess. You have my sympathy? My MIL is exactly the same and had a similar strop over her 60th the year we arrived here.

We ended up with DH going and me staying. She's just about over it...