How can I gain more self-confidence?

[Sugar Kane]

Hi

I know I don't post very much at all, despite having lurked on here for years, but I really need some help and advice. Not sure if my post should be in here or in Jobs but decided this was probably the best place.

I am currently trying to gain my first permanent teaching post. I completed my training in 2010 and have done a short term contract and supply work since then. I have completed tens of application forms but until recently have received very few offers of interview which hasn't helped my confidence at all.

Over the last month I have finally managed to gain interviews but I have literally been sick with nerves prior to them both. On both occasions I haven't been able to sleep properly the night before and have felt ill before the interviews themselves. As a result I feel like I haven't performed anything like as well as I could have done at the interview.

I have never been super-confident but I'm finding it just crippling at the moment. Since completing my teacher training I've suffered two major bereavements and I find myself switching between being desperate to prove myself and make the people I've lost proud of me, and just thinking 'what's the point' and that I'm obviously just not good enough.

My DH is amazing and supportive but I feel that he's having to bear so much of a burden as the main breadwinner that he doesn't need my problems as well.
I'm not really sure what I'm hoping for but I just needed to pour all this out.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far,
Abbi

[Franny]

You sound just like my husband, who has not had a permanent job he is qualified for since 2009. He was not superconfident before either but the recession has really sapped his confidence and it is tough out there. I am sure it is not you. It must be hard to keep plugging away and then getting knocked back.

The thing I have suggested to DH (which he ignores ) is maybe going to his GP and getting something to calm himself down before an interview

[LibertyGal72]

Interesting to hear you mention two bereavements. Do you think they may be casting a shadow on how you feel about yourself?

I'd recommending investigating some calming techniques, decide on a routine which you can follow during the build-up to interviews. Bachs remedies can also be useful - drinking mint or camomile tea can be calming too.

Are you working at the moment? If not, can you investigate doing some voluntary work or similar which will help boost your confidence - being in different social settings outside home might give you the boost you need.

Helski is very good at this sort of thing too... hopefully she'll be by soon xxx