Peed off with OHs mum

[January]

Can't really see her financial arrangements are any of your business, TBH. I'm a bit gobsmacked at asking her about figures in the first place let alone asking her to match up.

This is the woman who trashed your house and neglected your kids very recently. I don't really understand why you'd have her there in the first place or if you absolutely must why you'd stir things up over what amounts to a relative pittance.

All that aside, I wouldn't be buying suits for anyone either...

[Cymber]

I don't see giving different children varying amounts of money as a case of 'treating differently'. If one sibling needs more help financially than another so be it. It is not a case of 'fairness' or 'the prinicipal', money is there to assist people, if you don't need it why are you entitled to it?

My 3 sisters get much more help financially than me but I couldn't give a rat's arse. The things that matter are how much love and support we all get not how much money they've had.

ITA.

[Moffgal]

Totally what Bluekat said.

DH's parents are similar in that they strongly favour his sister over him. She lives at home and OK she doesn't earn a lot but they buy her a brand new car, pay for her insurance and last year paid for her boob job!

Now we do't need any financial help from them and if we asked they'd happily help us out, but my belief is what you do for one you do for the rest, even if they were to give us the equivalent to give to our kids. It makes me mad on DH's behalf. She's in her 30s yet is treated like a spoilt 17 year old.

Sounds like you need to get a bit 'selfish' and concentrate on your family and your wedding.

[ChelseaHarvey]

MG must be the way I was bought up them as my parents treat me & my brother the same it's the reason pretty much.... Except at the moment

[ellabella]

MG must be the way I was bought up them as my parents treat me & my brother the same it's the reason pretty much.... Except at the moment

Ensuring your kids get the same amount of pocket money is not the same as helping out financially when they need it as adults. I only have one kid so this won't apply to me but I would hate to think that if one child came to me I would have to factor in doubling (tripling, quadrupling even!) the amount for my other children.

[Mrs Moss]

I can see from your POV CH that it's a bit like he's been penalised for standing on his own two feet and providing properly for his family.

We have the same situation - OH parents bail out his youngest brother time and time again (gambling debts, mortgage payments, 'loans' that are never payed back) then wonder why he's an immature @rse. Apparently we're 'lucky' and all children and grandchildren are always treated the same way . I do understand why it would annoy you but I think I would just let it go because you'll never change his family.

Judging by the previous form of his family there is no way that I'd be asking for money It's just not worth it for such a small amount. You'll have the day you want and can be proud that you did it all yourselves.

I think I'd forget to post invites to any really unsavoury members of his family. We had two people at our wedding that I really didn't want there but the deal was that if they acted up they'd be asked to leave. Families eh - don't ya just love 'em

[Moffgal]

The thing is with DH's sis is she CAN afford a car, CAN afford to insure it and did not bludy well need a boob job, yet she just flippin gets it because she plays them. DH confronted them about the car insurance and FIL said something about we'd do the same for our kids- erm, no, not when they're 30 we wont!if they can't afford it there are such things as buses and their own 2 feet.

I have no objections to parents helping their kids out when they need it but she and CH's OH's siblings are taking the whatever.

[Velvet Chain]

Personally I think that whatever Deans mother gives to her other children is their business and nobody elses, however unfair you might think it is. It is their money at it is up to them as to how they spend it.