Some musings about giving up work

**One Sock** · 21-02-2012, 01:47pm

I'm soon to become a 'stay at home mum' and while I am hugely looking forward to it, part of me is freaking out slightly about effectively stepping out of the workplace.

I appreciate that I am incredibly fortunate to be in a position where we can afford for me not to work (although childcare is so expensive that I don't actually end up bringing home that much anyway, but that is a whole other thread!), but ever since I left University I have had a job and even though I have been on maternity leave twice, I was still employed during those times.

It feels very scary to be walking away from my career and earning potential. I think I am going to be happier as a result and I will definitely be less stressed and hopefully run around like a headless chicken a bit less, but it is a big change for me and a big shift in how I perceive myself.

Sorry, not a lot of point to this but has been playing on my mind quite a bit.

**Anne** · 21-02-2012, 02:59pm

But it wont be forever, the option to return to paid employment will be there in the future. I quite envy you, would live to be able to give up work.

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**One Sock** · 21-02-2012, 04:04pm

Thanks Anne. And you are right, it doesn't have to be forever and I am looking at it as an opportunity to maybe do something completely different.

I hope I didn't come across as ungrateful for having the opportunity to give up work as I am not at all. My post wasn't meant to be 'woe is me', more getting my head around a big life change for me.

**Tigerstripes** · 21-02-2012, 04:16pm

I gave up work after I was made redundant in March last year & felt exactly the same.

Nearly 12 months on and I do think I made the right decision, childcare alone was costing most of my salary & E hated being at nursery. There are weeks when I really wish I could go to work, especially during the school holidays

, but I am definitely a nicer, less stressed person to be around now & I like to think my boys are happier too.

I have started volunteering in school once a week and am considering going back to my original career choice of teaching, or maybe ta as its less pressure, once E starts school, so its def not forever.

Good luck, hope you enjoy time at home as much as me.
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**One Sock** · 21-02-2012, 04:35pm

That's good to hear Tigerstripes. I am really looking forward to it, especially being around to do the school run, but part of me can't help slightly panicking - what if OH loses his job and can't find a new one and we run out of savings and then I can't find a job because I haven't been working or what if we split up and I can't support myself blah blah.

All things which we would obviously just deal with if they happen, but I guess I have always had the security of knowing that if the shit hit the fan financially speaking then we could just about manage on my salary.

**Anne** · 21-02-2012, 05:08pm

Sorry, I meant my post to come across as its not final, so its a positive move, not a negative one. And being a SAHM is a career move, its just not a paid career IYSWIM. Also being at home isnt always the easy option, you have alot of work to do keeping stuff afloat. So its jsyta different career for the time being. Once the kids grow up, then you may want to return to the world of paid employment, its isnt that far off really.

**One Sock** · 21-02-2012, 05:15pm

Oh no Anne, you didn't come across as negative at all, I just got a sudden attack of paranoia that I had come across as a bit ungrateful and as if I was complaining.

**DillyDally** · 21-02-2012, 05:20pm

I think this is one of those life changes which is hard to get your head around, like when your children go away to college, leave home, or you starting work again after being at home for years

It's good you're thinking about it - all change brings positives and negatives, but it's rarely all bad.

And I agree with Anne about being a SAHM being a career - one I've been doing successfully, but not without stress, for years now

**bubbasweet** · 21-02-2012, 05:51pm

I agree with the career bit. I always say that to my MIL when she puts herself down about only being a SAHM for the best part of 20 years (as was - DH is one of four siblings and there's 14 years between the oldest and the youngest). I always say that it must take quite a degree of organisational ability and a good deal of patience to be at home with the kids. It's an important job and one that isn't as highly valued in this country as it should be. It's not like you're doing nothing with your life!

**Rosa** · 21-02-2012, 07:27pm

I haven't been back to work at all since having kids, it made sense for me personally and also for us all financially it wasn't really worth it, especially now I have two children. I don't see it as a negative, I look after all the finances and it is all "our" money so there is no issue there, and I am so much more confident and assertive having this experience of being a full time mum, I reckon I'll be much better employee on my return to the workplace. In fact I'm not sure I will be able to return to the workplace as an employee to be honest, I feel I could handle my own business when the time comes which i could work to suit my own hours and needs etc.

Even though I regularly tear my hair out being at home, and do voluntary work and put them in any creche going to keep me sane, I don't think I will EVER regret being at home spending this time with the kids