Some advice please

**Millie** · 12-02-2012, 07:41pm

Just a quick update, this guy well he's texted a fair bit in the last week, I've been a bit slow in replying back to him but have been polite & brief in my replies. But now he's asking questions about what i've been up and is starting to chat and flirt like a few months ago. He asked for us to chat on Skype basically i didn't see the point and said it would feel a bit odd to chat as if nothing has happened since he said all that stuff to me in that mail to which he replied "we'll chat soon".

I've decided enough time has been spent on him and now want it to stop. I've had a good think about things and I mean how could I have liked someone that I've never met??? It was his words that I fell for and yes the attention was nice too. i feel I need to nip this in the bud because I know he will keep popping up from time to time.
I need a real man in my life not a text message/email man,

thanks for the advice ladies.

**Bettie May** · 13-02-2012, 01:39pm

Have you asked him if he will come over and visit? Flights are cheap enough and Travelodges only about £15 at the moment so if he was that keen I can't see why he would say no. I think you may still think about him otherwise and it would be nice to know if there actually was anything more to it?

**Millie** · 15-02-2012, 07:34pm

There's a part of me that would like to know if there was anything more to it but then the other part of me is saying move on now. When we've talked about him coming over, He keeps saying he gets nervous and changes his mind at the last minute. He has said loads of times that he does want to come over to see me but we never get there.
He keeps texting asking if we are still friends? I actually went on a date on Monday night and told him because he texted me late that night, he seemed a bit miffed shall we say and but still asked about the date. I didn't go into details about it but said it was nice. Anyway I did say that I want to be going out on dates not just talking to someone via skype/emails. He then went silent on me. No contact yesterday but has contacted me today asking whether I mind him texting, he asked questions and told me about his day. Then he asked me about my date again the other night.
I'm not sure what's going on here????

**Anne** · 15-02-2012, 08:46pm

I think there is more to this than he is letting on, the fact that he hadn't come over says alot. He won't commit to this relationship but finish it either, I think you are being lead on, he isn't capable of moving the relationship forward so you need to be cruel to be kind. Sorry, harsh I know, but he is wasting your time.

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**DKNI** · 15-02-2012, 09:11pm

Originally Posted by Anne

I think there is more to this than he is letting on, the fact that he hadn't come over says alot. He won't commit to this relationship but finish it either, I think you are being lead on, he isn't capable of moving the relationship forward so you need to be cruel to be kind. Sorry, harsh I know, but he is wasting your time.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk.

This ^^ totally, he clearly likes having a 'pocket girlfriend' and enjoys the texting and the conversation, but its never going to go anywhere. Basically you have spent 7 months talking to someone who was never going to be able to see you face to face for whatever reason.
Take whatever confidence it has given you and move on, don't reply to his texts and don't engage with him at all as he will use any leverage he can to get back in to your 'good books'
Unless he commits to meeting you then I would say walk away now and let him have his own little fantasies of what having a real relationship is actually like

**helpimfalling** · 15-02-2012, 09:12pm

Originally Posted by DKNI

This ^^ totally, he clearly likes having a 'pocket girlfriend' and enjoys the texting and the conversation, but its never going to go anywhere. Basically you have spent 7 months talking to someone who was never going to be able to see you face to face for whatever reason.
Take whatever confidence it has given you and move on, don't reply to his texts and don't engage with him at all as he will use any leverage he can to get back in to your 'good books'
Unless he commits to meeting you then I would say walk away now and let him have his own little fantasies of what having a real relationship is actually like

Completely agree with last two posts x spot on x

**ms sweetcheeks** · 16-02-2012, 03:12pm

Agree with Anne and DKNI 100%- both spot on, and I am SO pleased you've gone on another date and thta you seem to have been able to let go of *whatever it was* between you and him!

Onwards and upwards

Sooo spill, how did the *real* date go, are you seeing him again? Was there a spark?

**Dink** · 18-02-2012, 04:40pm

TBH, this sounds like a lot of drama for a cyber/phone relationship. It's normally easier to behave when you can end the call/email later/etc. Try to imagine what it would be like with the actual drama of the 'stupid' stuff couples argue over- say you are in the car and miss the turn, picking the wrong checkout queue, forgetting your umbrella, etc etc etc.

**Millie** · 09-03-2012, 01:39pm

A quick update!

On-line guy seems frustrated that I have not been returning his texts/mails so he's given me a few dates of when he's thinking of coming over along with his flirty messages. Now for me it's all finished (not that anything ever got started!

. I have not responded because I know he's not genuine about coming over he just wants to get me interested again.

Anyway enough about him.
I have been so blind for the last few months and caught up with all that I missed a lovely man right in front my eyes. We work together but not in the same office. We see each other a lot at work and chat, I recently found out we have similar interests, similar work backgrounds and live a short distance from each other. Anyway I don't know but we were out the other day (work) and something just clicked for me. He's very subtle in his approach but he's caught my attention and this has given me a bit of a wake up call. So I'm seeing where this may go...