I am a my wits end

**littlepinkpiglet** · 04-12-2011, 11:46pm

Mine are younger, 8 and 6. It sounds really mean but if they squabble/fight they both get punished. No questions asked, no matter whose fault it is. Possibly very unfair, but EXTREMELY effective.

**Tekkencat** · 05-12-2011, 08:22am

sorry im late to this clowe

sounds like going down the treat them like babies route is working

hang in there honey xxx (always about for a rant over medicinal bailieys)

**Oana** · 05-12-2011, 09:27am

would you believe DD is 15 & DS1 who is 5 fight like this too

Honestly you think a 10 year gap would mean less arguments.

Sorry to say I don't have an answer but regularly feel like I'm at my wits end.

**Tigerpants** · 05-12-2011, 09:38am

Originally Posted by clowe74

They just get sent to their rooms and after a bit will apologise and I let them stay down. Tonight though I have accepted their apologies but sent them back up and said if they want to behave like babies they will be treat like babies.

I do think they have been a bit shocked tonight at this but I can imagine it wont be as shocking tomorrow night if it happens again

Originally Posted by littlepinkpiglet

Mine are younger, 8 and 6. It sounds really mean but if they squabble/fight they both get punished. No questions asked, no matter whose fault it is. Possibly very unfair, but EXTREMELY effective.

Oh Clowe

I too have been there and it is wearing and upsetting and just generally a total pain in the backside

My solution too has been to clamp down on it quickly, separate both of them to their rooms and generally be a very harsh mum. I don't listen to who said what as they've all been told to stop "biting" and it will stop quicker.

Separate rooms, no tv, no xbox, no anything nice

And don't underestimate the power of this, used enough times it does get through and it does begin to work. When it flares up again it generally takes half an hour of lockdown before they all get the message and it stops.

The eldest one (15 in January) can be totally and utterly vile to the youngest (8 in January) and winds him up so much, then the second one laughs along at the older one, which is my trigger to really meltdown. So I get rid totally.

I am so, so sorry but glad you have Baileys and Beyonce

TP
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**clowe74** · 05-12-2011, 07:10pm

Well this evening has been better. DD has been sat down here mainly playing the Wii and DS2 has been back and forth. He did at one time attempt his little wind up comments but one glare and me bellowing "dont you dare start" seemed to have worked.

Long may it last

**lauranne** · 05-12-2011, 09:35pm

I have this but with my DS 7 and DH 31 going on 3. DS whinges, DH makes a comment and before you know it we've descended into "Mummmeeeee, Tell Daddy..." Etc etc until I turn into the banshee mother from hell. Hope they stop soon, it's no fun screaming all the time

**thirzasmum** · 05-12-2011, 11:02pm

Totally agree with tp. Treat them like toddlers and " I don't care who started it ith of your rooms now. Out in 30 mins if you can g et on" or similar mantra repeat ad infinitium.

Remember you are the adult. Don't let it get to screaming pitch- start the moment the behaviour starts fom either of them in a normal ( or quieter/ lower voice even) .

Try having a chat explaining what you are going to do- not asking for their input ( I know others might say they hold decide what happens but IMO they arent behaving in an adult way so you are going o be the adult and take over).

As with any behaviour modification ( remember when they were toddlers?) there will be a kick back that you will ride out but persistent, non shouty, absolutely insistent management will win eventually.

Save some baileys for the next few nights!

**clowe74** · 06-12-2011, 08:43pm

Thankyou ladies for keeping me sane

DS2 started in the car saying it as my fault he couldnt go out as apparently my super human skills made it snow, a small warning and he stopped.

So fingers crossed we seem to be making an improvement

**Tigerpants** · 06-12-2011, 08:48pm

Originally Posted by clowe74

Thankyou ladies for keeping me sane

DS2 started in the car saying it as my fault he couldnt go out as apparently my super human skills made it snow, a small warning and he stopped.

So fingers crossed we seem to be making an improvement

Blimey you are powerful

Glad it seems to be calming down, you'll be able to go back to being good cop soon and only wheel bad cop out when necessary

TP
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