Anyone else's child have to be dragged to pre-school? :(

**Carrie** · 14-09-2011, 12:36pm

My DD started pre school last Tuesday. It's every afternoon, 3 hours a day. It's getting worse day by day when it's time to go. So much so that my partner is now taking her as I get too upset. Not that she'd know, I wait till I'm in the car or at home!

Just now OH has literally had to carry her out the house, shouting and crying. I hate it. I don't know if every day is too much or this is another phase?

She's 3 and a half.

**RosyLee** · 14-09-2011, 12:46pm

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to go? Zoe started last week, and there were tears when I dropped her off on Monday, but the staff have been very good with her and she has got a bit better. She even commented on some other children who were crying this morning. Once I've gone, apparently she's up to her elbows in playdough - is your LO settling once you've dropped her off?

It is a big change for them (and us!) but once she makes some friends and finds a favourite bit (Zoe loves the book corner) she'll enjoy it.

**Cerise** · 14-09-2011, 12:49pm

My DS started last Tuesday - for 2 mornings a week. He asked me to leave the first time, then got upset after about an hour. Say 2 he cried on and off the whole way through and this Tuesday he was happy to go until we got into the carpark. He was 3 in June. I wish I knew what the answer was. The pre-school are happy for me to stay a bit or do whatever I think will get him used to it quickest - but I don't know myself. This is child no.3 and I am still clueless.

Is your DD happy once she has got over her initial tears? That's what I'm aiming for at the moment.

**Carrie** · 14-09-2011, 01:20pm

Thank you for the replies. Yes she settles pretty quickly, 2 minutes today the teacher said. It's just the initial taking her. She's started having nightmares, screaming out in the night "I don't waaaaaant to go!". Just hope this sorts itself out quickly. It's upsetting and stressful every morning!

**Franny** · 14-09-2011, 01:33pm

My son is like this. My daughter never was - she just ran off - so this is a new thing for me. Pre-school are v good, phoning me to tell me he is fine, playing with trains or whatever but this morning he was so distressed when he realised he was going and I felt really mean and was wondering if he is really ready but when I went and got him they said he'd been a little smiler all day.

**Carrie** · 14-09-2011, 01:42pm

Exactly how I feel Franny but I know deep down it's the right thing to do, she needs the discipline. Doesn't make it any easier though!

**Bop** · 14-09-2011, 01:47pm

Big ((hugs)) - it is hard bit do keep with it.

My DD was like this - I had to trick her to get her out the house and her key worker used to have to peel her off me every day. We persisted though and I always took her whatever.

She was almost as bad when she started school - again classroom assistants had to peel her off me as she screamed. It took several months before she would just go in and now she is 8 and happily walks in every day....

Bop

**Aurora** · 14-09-2011, 10:07pm

Hun

I know it must be so hard for you BUT the fact that she settles so quickly just goes to show that she doesn't hate it for the whole time which is very promising

I hate to say it but I really am wondering if it is a control thing? These pesky kids are clever little cookies. Do you think she's trying to find your breaking point. Kind of - how far will she push it before you give in? Not that I am saying she is faking the nightmares of course

but the crying and having to be carried in.

It is hard though T - you have my sympathies.

**Abbie** · 14-09-2011, 10:11pm

DD2 was like this. She threw a fit every time I dropped her off.

The staff always told me that she was as happy as larry the minute the door closed behind me so it was obviously all for my benefit.

She was there 18 months and did it every day. It was horrible, but I knew she was fine once I'd gone and she had a great time so we persevered with it.

She's now 6 and in Y2 at school and still like it so you have my sympathies

**Chell** · 14-09-2011, 11:12pm

Mine too.

She started in March, two days a week. After the two week Easter break we had to start the settling in all over as she hadn't settled. It improved for a while then it was the Summer break.

She started back last week. She goes Mon/Wed/Fri. My Dad was supposed to take her as I need to work. He called me last Friday to say there was no way he could get her to school. I carried her down with her shouting, 'I don't like school, I don't like *teachers name*'.

Monday, I couldn't get her uniform t-shirt on despite telling her she was going regardless of what she wore. This was at 7am. She calmed by 8.45am when I took her brother and sister to school. She walked fairly close to school then her nerves set in. It took two members of staff to get her off of me.

Today, I practically sat on her to get the uniform on.

She wasn't upset for as long though. By school time she walked in fine although was worried she'd not get to wave to me.

I need to go back to my Dad talking her but I can't seeing her letting it happen. As her teacher said, it means her having to break away from me at 9am then my Dad at 9.15am. I'm taking her in late everyday as I can't be there for the start.