Lonely. And fed up. How do you fill weekends when you're always on your own?

[Spleep]

I'm in the awful situation where I'm the only single one of all my friends. And I'm lonely as hell.

I spend all week dreading the weekends and spending all my time thinking about who I could ask to do something with, only to find all my friends are busy and yet again I spend the weekend scrabbling around for things to do. Making up chores, etc.

I'm so lonely.

If you're single, and you're friends aren't around - how do you fill your time?

I've looked at getting away on single activity weekends but there's nothing really coming up this weekend. It's Tuesday and I'm already dreading it.

I feel like such a loser.

[LibertyGal72]

Make plans!

It's normal to feel now and again. But in my experience it pays off to learn to cherish some me time and discover what you enjoy doing.

The grass is always greener on the other side...there are times I so wish I lived on my own and could do what I want and when!!

In this day and age there is nothing you can't do on your own. What are you interested in? Galleries are best on your own, ime. And I used to love going to the cinema on my own. Used to love to while away an afternoon in the library, after a cup of tea (Earl Grey my secret tipple) in the cafe downstairs.

And I enjoy dining out on my own too. With a book, usually! No worries about having to make conversation. And waiting staff are often particularly courteous!

Enjoy it!

[L66TTY]

Hmm find some single friends go to the gym, join a sports club, a photography club, a car club anything that meets at weekends? My husband is often away at weekends and yes I do have 2 small people to keep me company but it's not the same as adult company, so we often meet up with friends that are single or single mums or dads. I often get friends being mistaken as the boys dad which is funny!

[lafleur]

I really do sympathise.

It's all very well saying you should make plans to do things on your own, but when you spend every evening of the week on your own, you crave some company. For me, it's not so much about not having anything to do, there are plenty of things I can do on my own, but I want people to chat to and a bit of company. I imagine you're feeling the same - it's loneliness rather than boredom.

I'm lucky that I do have a few single friends, but we don't live that close, and often have plans with family anyway.

I do a lot of exercise classes. I find this better than just going to the gym, because you get to know the people in the classes and you chat and interact much more. Sometimes we go for drinks afterwards, or to lunch, so that's always good.

How about setting yourself up with some dates for the weekends? Are you on any dating sites? You don't have to think of it so much as trying to find a man, but just meeting up with someone for a bit of a chat and company. You never know, it may lead to more.

I always try to forward plan and make sure I have something to look forward to, so if I have a crap weekend of nothing, then I know I can look forward to the next weekend when I have a big night out or something coming up.

Sorry you're feeling like this. It really is hard. Whereabouts are you? Are there any other Damsels local to you who perhaps you could meet up with?

[Spleep]

I'm in London - and you're right. I'm not bored - I've just bought a new flat so I've got loads I can do, I'm just lonely. And I really feel like, having just had a birthday that takes me closer to 40, that time is running out and - insanely perhaps - I feel like I'm just wasting time on my own, not meeting people.

I'm really keen to do internet dating but - this sounds mental -I've got ZERO decent photographs of myself to upload. I seriously photograph horrendously - I like to tihnk I'm better in real life - so I can't create a profile that doesn't make me look minging.

I'm sounding like such a sad sack but that's how I feel at the mo. I'm wasting my life scrabbing around for friends while all mine are moving on with their OHs.

I do plan to join a couple of local clubs, and I will, but a) I'm seriously scared of going on my own, and b) activities only come up every week or so and this weekend is already LOOMING.....

ARGH I could cry. I'm lonely, and I feel like such a loser billy no mates. Who the hell has so few mates they can't make a single plan at the weekend? Tragic.

[LibertyGal72]

Whereabouts in London?

There's bucket loads of stuff you can do for free. And if you are ou and about enjoying yourself, there's always the chance you'll bump into some perfectly lovely people.

Life doesn't just happen...you need to make it happen xxx

[Milkybargirl]

Life doesn't just happen...you need to make it happen xxx

so true

[claireh]

I would attack this in a multi pronged way.

- email / call friends and explain how you are feeling. Any decent friend should then make an effort with invites etc.

- split the weekend into chunks. I would think a good mixture of gym classes, shopping trips with friends, dates and nights out with friends should help fill most of the weekend.

- why not start a post in damsels events to see if any local damsels fancy meeting up?

- ask a friend to take a photo of you for your online profile. I bet you don't photograph as badly as you think. Just think of something naughty when you are getting your photo taken and I bet you will have a cheeky glint in your eye!!

- would you be interested in going on a yoga etc weekend away?

- do you have any friends that live abroad or other parts of the UK? Could you plan trips go visit? The same applies to family.

- plan a house warming party. What about a Halloween party?

I would start planning as much as possible and try to fill your diary quite far in advance so that you have lots of things to look forward to.

Hope you are ok. It is horrid to read that you are feeling lonely. I know it is not the same as real life but there will always be someone here to help keep you company too.

[frannybaby]

Try Meetup.com. There are lots of different activities you can join.

I go to the odd thing here in Hong Kong and its been a great way to meet people. Everyone is in the same boat in terms of wanting to widen their social circles and you can just participate as much or as little as you like.

[bisy backson]

i hear you big

in fact i was crying to my mum via skype the other day about it (and i'm 40 on saturday so age is no er, barrier?) I'm also dreading waking up on the sunday on my own, its father's day ehre on sunday so everyone will be otherwise occupied and i will be by myself with no one to talk to YET AGAIN.

so you totally and utterly have my sympathy and big

the thing that has saved my sanity is joining a triathlon club. now i'm not saying you should take up triathlons (but would highly recommend it!) and the main reason being that they have training sessions throughout the week and its the same people usually so you get to know people fairly quickly.

it works really well for me having a structure to my week - ie sat mornings its running (followed by a coffee) then sunday morning cycling (followed by a coffee) sat pm swimming, and sessions throughout the week.

plus a lot of people are around during the week for coffee etc as they are all local and all different ages so not all have small kids to keep them occupied.

have a browse and see if oyu can find any clubs, or sign up for a course, or join a team (i also joined a hockey team and found a whole heap of new friends that way - i've only played with them this season and we're all going out for my 40th on sat night).

yes you are going to have lonely days (and you can always chat to me about that!) but you can also put yourself out there and create a life that you really want.

I find that if i've run sat morning, played hockey sat pm, cycled sunday am i'm quite happy to sit with a book or to do some baking sunday afternoon and just chill and maybe phone a couple of mates for a chat and that feels so much better :)

I also plan a sunday out with a girl friend every 6 weeks or so, is there someone you can do that sort of thing with?

it is hard, and you do have to put in a fair bit of effort, but you can definitely make it work for you.

worst comes to the worst for me and i'll go out for a long run on my own, not idea but it kills a couple of hours, is good for you, you get to listen to your music and you never know who you might bump into....

lots of love to you

bbxx