Need help please will possible ADHD ds

**frenchpolish** · 19-12-2010, 07:49pm

I posted before about ds school bringing up the possibility of adhd.

We have actually had the referral through now, and see the cdc (child development centre) in mid Jan.

However, I am increasingly struggling to control/ignore/cope with his behaviour. There is no reasoning with him. He won't listen at all, if you try and speak, he makes funny noises and pulls his face.

Every single thing is a battle. I realise to a greater or lesser extent "normal" 5/6 year old behaviour, but I am struggling.

It is making the household really tense and I can see if this is what he is like at school then I can see the teachers point.

Any tips/hints, because losing my temper is helping him or me

**Faith** · 19-12-2010, 07:55pm

I have a friend who's boy has adhd. She has signed him up to every activity she can think of, swimming, gymnastics, football, he is out most nights and weekends, even just to the park.

She says it does get rid of alot of his energy and helps him calm down, plus he is getting used to listening and concentration on the coaches so it's helping that way. She has had loads of positive feedback on his improvements too

In fact one club persuaded her to enter him for a competition (against her better judgement) and he did really well

Is that an option? Does the school have sports clubs after school (ours has dance, athletics, basketball) if it's going to be a logistical problem getting him there?

**frenchpolish** · 19-12-2010, 08:00pm

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh just replied and deleted it!

**frenchpolish** · 19-12-2010, 08:01pm

thanks faith.

I do think the enforced staying in because of the weather isn't helping!

I will have to make sure he expends some energy every day one way or another and see if that helps

**LibertyGal72** · 19-12-2010, 08:06pm

Haven't much advice to offer but

Know how challenging adhd can be.

You're right about the cabin fever and there's some good ideas about what to do in term time. When at home, count to ten and try again. And don't be too hard on yourself xxx

**frenchpolish** · 19-12-2010, 08:09pm

Originally Posted by LibertyGal72

Haven't much advice to offer but

Know how challenging adhd can be.

You're right about the cabin fever and there's some good ideas about what to do in term time. When at home, count to ten and try again. And don't be too hard on yourself xxx

thanks

Its so hard, adhd not been diagnosed yet....but I am believing it more and more.

It makes hard to like him, and I have to remind myself its still my little boy underneath all the challeging behaviour. Its also hard not over fuss dd, who is younger and not acting up, as that makes the contrast between the two of them greater.

**redhed** · 19-12-2010, 08:09pm

ADHD tends to come in one of 3 flavours: inattentive, impulsive, hyperactive. Of course you can have a mix too, but yswim. If he did have ADHD, which do you think his main traits would be? Coping strategies would vary for the different types.

**frenchpolish** · 19-12-2010, 08:18pm

Hi Red
I'd say his main one is lack of attention and inability to follow instruction. Also some hyperactivity with only a bit of impulsive behaviour....as you say a mix though.

I did start asking him if he understood me as he often acted as if I had not even spoken at all. This is also what school have picked up on, inability to follow instructions. Also school have talked about his complete inability to sit still, walking around, fiddling, getting in peoples personal space.

we have seen "strange" behaviour at bath time, splashing and and flooding the place.

He is constantly making a noise, but doesn't like noise from anyone else..

Sometimes I do feel like I'm living in a strange world

**redhed** · 19-12-2010, 08:43pm

Inattentive and hyperactive at the same time is hard. You need to remove distractions - but if he feels the need to dash around the house distracting himself, that's going to be tough to achieve.

I'd go with the fiddling. Fiddling is good. Fiddling looks distracting but will actually help concentration, not hinder it. If you can find something safe/portable/unobtrusive to fidget with, you could try encouraging him to carry/use that. Theoretically you should get more concentration if he can fidget with that and listen to you, rather than hare off round the room.

Most people with ADHD are more "interruptable" in one sense than the others - I mean sounds, visual, whatever. I'm sound-sensitive: I can't concentrate if there is any noise at all around me, so I rely on my earplugs. Means you can always get my attention by talking to me (unless I have my earplugs in

) but it also means if you eg have the radio on, I can do no work and unless I am actually planning to listen to music get anxious and jittery. Others get completely distracted by seeing people walking by, a busy visual classroom, whatever. So try working out what his distractors are and minimise those if you can.

If you google "ADHD tips" you will find LOADS out there on the internet; of course it may turn out he doesn't have anything of the sort, it's one of those conditions which overlaps with completely normal behaviour, it's just a question of extent/context. But I'm a great believer that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck etc; if he is behaving in a slightly ADHD-ish way, it's possible strategies for ADHD will help him even if he turns out to be completely neurotypical.

**frenchpolish** · 20-12-2010, 06:14am

Originally Posted by redhed

Inattentive and hyperactive at the same time is hard. You need to remove distractions - but if he feels the need to dash around the house distracting himself, that's going to be tough to achieve.

I'd go with the fiddling. Fiddling is good. Fiddling looks distracting but will actually help concentration, not hinder it. If you can find something safe/portable/unobtrusive to fidget with, you could try encouraging him to carry/use that. Theoretically you should get more concentration if he can fidget with that and listen to you, rather than hare off round the room.

Most people with ADHD are more "interruptable" in one sense than the others - I mean sounds, visual, whatever. I'm sound-sensitive: I can't concentrate if there is any noise at all around me, so I rely on my earplugs. Means you can always get my attention by talking to me (unless I have my earplugs in

) but it also means if you eg have the radio on, I can do no work and unless I am actually planning to listen to music get anxious and jittery. Others get completely distracted by seeing people walking by, a busy visual classroom, whatever. So try working out what his distractors are and minimise those if you can.

If you google "ADHD tips" you will find LOADS out there on the internet; of course it may turn out he doesn't have anything of the sort, it's one of those conditions which overlaps with completely normal behaviour, it's just a question of extent/context. But I'm a great believer that if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck etc; if he is behaving in a slightly ADHD-ish way, it's possible strategies for ADHD will help him even if he turns out to be completely neurotypical.

thanks red

he has been very noise sensitive from a very early age, and the phrase "dashing around the house distracting himself" describes him to a tee!

I will google and get some tips,

thanks all for your help :-)