would you believe your seven year old over adults?

**Bex** · 09-10-2006, 10:34pm

Hi, i was just wondering after a bit of a dispute i had today, how many of you believe your children, 100%, all the time, no doubt even if adults were telling you different? regularly?

The person involved would not believe what i had told her about her seven year old and basically called me and another adult a liar because daughter never lies to her. I have been warned by people about her before as the girl causes lots of problems at the school and her mum always defends her to any extent/confronts other mums over things.she has many nicknames including verruca salt, anngelica and is notorious for causing trouble with the other kids, and now it looks like shes expanded to adults. I've had another mum in tears over her before but as i dont have a child that age, i didnt really know for myself, until now, all i knew before is that she was very rude and downright ignorant to us when i had the displeasure of seeing her and i'd heard her tantrums from afar.

Tbh, i think the kid has mental problems from what i have heard, but thats not my point. In my mind, the mother is niave, making a fool of herself and her daughter is manipulting her to get away with appalling behaviour.

I always believed all children lie, not because they are all bad, but its human nature to spare others feelings or as a child to escape punishment.

I just wanted other mums opinions really as im new to all this mum business, my daughter isnt even 2 but is already trying to deceive me

(hiding things in her hand she knows she shouldnt have etc) I just wanted to know if its me thats going mad! as obviously, i don't know what i will believe of my daughter when she is seven.

So, do you believe your children 100% even when the majority are stating the contrary??

**Skerry Berry** · 09-10-2006, 10:38pm

I always think that children have a very strong sense of justice. My DD is only coming up for 3, but with my nieces and nephews, you can always tell when they are lying because the act "cool" about it, whereas when they are tellling the truth, they get very upset about not being believed.

**Toots** · 09-10-2006, 10:38pm

No I agree with you! Children do try to 'lie' to not only get out of trouble but to see how far they can push you and what they can get away with! I think it's all part of learning.

This woman seems like one of those 'my child is an angel and woudl never do that' when really they are often the worst!! She seems to have rose-tinted specs when it comes to her daughter. I can't stand parents that always say 'oh, my LO woudl never do that' because quite often they do! it's all part of children growing up!

I'm sorry! I am now off my

Lois Lane · 09-10-2006, 10:39pm

in a word atm, no i don't believe my child over adults!! p has a terrible knack for telling whopping porkies - she tells me she hit another child (i question her nursery workers who say it's tosh - most of the time!) and today she said 'i bit danielle yesterday'. well danielle is her carer and therefore she didn't even SEE her yesterday! little minx.

i think it is a tough call though - i remember having a penchant for telling whoppers to my mum at that age (7) which did make it hard for me to get her to believe me when i WAS telling the truth. so i had a negative impact in that when i was telling the truth, mum didn't believe me and i often got into trouble for things that weren't my fault.

what you describe though sounds like classic attention seeking behaviour and an indulgent mum. i don't know how to tackle it i'm afraid.

Soreya · 09-10-2006, 10:42pm

It is natural for a mum to want to believe her child but she's not doing her any favour at all by allowing her to get away with it.Children can be manipulative just like adults and she's just helping her develop this side even more.
M. has just turned 5 and isn't at that stage yet(or he already knows he can't get away with it) but no way I'd make a foul of myself and get the world against me to let him turn into a brat

If she believes every single word coming out of her child's mouth, she's up for a shock and a big wake up call someday!

***kate*** · 09-10-2006, 10:45pm

I think as a mum you can tell when your child is lying and telling the truth. So I'd have to say on some occasions I would believe my 7yr old and on others I wouldn't but I'd judge the situation on it's own merits.

There's a lot of mothers know their kid is a little toerag but to show face they will stick up for them to the bitter end.

**Bex** · 09-10-2006, 10:47pm

thanx for your replies, that really helps, im not going mental!
i was starting to question myself and think about how i will feel when dd is seven, but i couldn't imagine making such an idiot of myself over what my child had said!

Thanx again

**Tripod** · 10-10-2006, 01:16pm

[quote=hanbanhansa]
This woman seems like one of those 'my child is an angel and woudl never do that' when really they are often the worst!! She seems to have rose-tinted specs when it comes to her daughter. I can't stand parents that always say 'oh, my LO woudl never do that' because quite often they do! it's all part of children growing up!/quote]

I have to say I agree. I used to teach and the amount of parents who used to come in and have such a go at me for telling their child off because they had done something I HAD SEEN!!! - and yet they believed their child and thought I had done them an injustice.