Hit complete rock bottom yesterday girls (self ob rant)
Yesterday is definately a day I DO NOT want to ever repeat.
I think my body is pretty fecked up at the minute with hormones. I've got the Implanon implant in and most months I don't get a period, got one last month but none this month. My patience is very, very thin and the slightest thing is setting me off in floods of tears.
We had a fab day on Saturday at the Science Centre with Redtiger and MadMadamMim but by the time we got home Lorna had started her tantrums again and it continued for the rest of the evening.
Yesterday was exactly the same. She whinged and whined, held her hands up to be lifted, screamed whenever I put her down, tripped me up on countless ocassions etc etc the list goes on. I was completely shattered and ended up falling asleep on the sofa when she finally went down for her nap at 2pm (been up since 6am!!!).
I woke up at 3pm just in time to see my OH put his map and compass in his rucksack. I asked what he was up to and he told me he was going out on his bike for a wee hour and taking the dog. I was absolutely furious because I was being left to deal with Lorna on my own while he got to frickin swan off and enjoy himself. That probably sounds a bit mean but I had Lorna from 10am on Saturday until 4pm when we got home and my OH had the whole day to himself.
On que Lorna woke up at this point and the whole flaming crying, whinging, wanting lifted thing started up again. I gave her some Nurofen as she's teething just now which obviously explains a lot of her behaviour but I was suffering with PMT too and after more than half an hour of her screaming I came the closest I ever really have to smacking her.
The neighbours upstairs were also blasting their music and you know you see adverts and stuff with people really uptight and the steam comes out of their ears with a stupid steam train noise............ well that was me. I picked up Lorna and marched outside into my garden and shouted up to the open windows upstairs "Not everybody wants to listen to other people's shite ****ing music" and went back in and slammed my door so hard that I don't know how I didn't smash the glass.
By six o'clock my OH still wasn't home and I'd shouted so many times at Lorna to "shut the **** up" and banged upstairs on the ceiling with a broom. I phoned my OH and simply asked him if he was anywhere near home yet (basically because I was about to walk out of the house and leave Lorna in there) and he told me he'd be about another hour............... I just hung up the phone and burst into tears.
The music was still blasting upstairs, Lorna was still crying and wanting lifted up and I knew I just had to get out of the house. I got Lorna's buggy, put her in it and just started walking. My OH had feckin stoopidly left his house keys at home so I knew I couldn't go far. My mum was at a party so I couldn't even go over there and I didn't want to drive anywhere because I was too worked up.
It was a lovely day out and Lorna was quite happy at last but we only stayed out for half an hour because she quickly became bored and wanted lifted out of the buggy and started screaming again. We were home by 6.40pm and luckily I only had to wait another 15 minutes before my OH rolled up with the dog stinking and black from jumping in the canal and she ran right through the house
To say I was thrilled to drop Lorna off at my mum's last night is an understatement. I'm sooooooooooo tired and I'm working 9.30am - 6pm this week and can't get a lift in with OH who is actually working in the building next door (he starts at 8am) so I'll have to get the train in with Lorna this week.
Gowd this is a mamoth rant and I'm very sorry for going on, woe is me stylee but I know a lot of you have/are going through the same thing and you really just need to get it all out.
I love my daughter so much, I wouldn't change her for the world (well I'd maybe get her to stop whinging ) but jeeze gawd give me strength :roll:
Thanks for reading...............
PF & RPatz 4Eva
Oh Jane i just wanted to give you a big (((((((((hug)))))))))!! Sorry you had such a cacky day and :x at your neighbours ignoring you, i assume they KNOW you have a LO, how inconsiderate
Hope today is a brighter day for you and your break from Lorna refreshes you in time for when you get her back again :)
Just a thought and i don't know ANYTHING about the implant thing, but could this be causing hormonal problems or have you always had PMT to some extent. You've mentioned the implant a couple of times and i wonder sometimes if it could be this what makes you feel so down a lot of the time. Tell me to feck off if you think i'm being nosey, sorry
Geriatric Mum to be!
Thanks Katy and Jules, I don't know if it's the Implant, I only got it before Christmas and I've had these irrational rages well before that time.
Yes I've always suffered from PMT and general moodiness I'm not sure if that's a psychological thing (though I should know) or me just being a mardy cow
Sorry you had such a sh!te day yesterday Jane - I was in your neck of the woods yesterday as well, could've taken Lorna off your hands and she could have joined Ryan in freaking out every time a bike went past
I've never have the implant but I had the Depo Provera injection at my 6 week check after having Ryan and stopped it last spring because I felt it was giving me raging mood swings. I think I am calmer now (though DH might not agree!) so I reckon that was making my moods worse. I did love having no periods mind you but even that wasn't really worth the mood swings.
Hope the rest of your week is much better and your OH realises what a crap day you had yesterday. Funny enough I wasn't in the best of moods last night - feeling a bit overwhelmed just now by all the work I have to do on my 'list'
What a crappy day! You deserve a It's just horrible when it's one thing after another and I remember the picking up stage soooooo well (aka 'cabbage' as Z couldn't say carried)
One of the pills I tried when I was younger made me cry constantly, even when I wasn't upset about anything! These things can definitely have an effect on moods. I had to stop taking them as no-one wanted a snivelling barmaid.
Hope today is better for you chick.
Ah Jane honey i hope you are feeling better today.
Why is it that men can just take off and assume that we will be there to cover the childcare. DH does this to me all the time. Mind you not at the minute it was him that I had to look after Dylan all weekend as I was being all obsessive about the cleaning etc.
Have a wee bit of and be nice to yourself at lunch.
The main thing is you didn't walk out and leave Lorna and if you never had a day like that then you might actually be a Stepford wife.....scary.
You know where I am if you need to chat
Road Trip Damsel