We're having major issues too.

[Moffgal]

This has been going on for weeks and we're at the end of our rope.

Declan has never slept well but this is getting stupid.

Nights a the mo run like this. 7.30 DH gives d a bottle and he falls asleep while being winded (error no1: he's not falling asleep by himself).

He then wakes at about 10-10.30, sometimes earlier if we disturb him when we come to bed. he'll have another bottle at this point.

DH then spends the next few hours settling him, putting him back in the cot only for him to wake 20 mins later over and over again.

Then at 1ish i take over so dh can sleep. he comes into our bed and feeds 3-4 times till morning (error no2: clearly feeding to sleep, waking and needing me to get back off to sleep, i think)

it's just not funny anymore. I know I need to get tough but one thing I'm unsure of is what if he wakes and genuinely needs feeding and I'm there sticking him back in his cot over and over again while the poor guy is starving?

We really need help.

[Purple Lady]

I see your ticker says he is 5mths old so I am wondering if he is ready for some solid food at tea time? For example rice pudding/baby porridge?
What do you think?

[Skibunny]

You will know if he is genuinely hungry Moff. Work out what he's eaten over the day - if he's guzzling 9oz bottles at night still then unless he's eating nothing else all day I doubt he's really hungry. Feeding three of four times until morning isn't hunger it's habit.

I would set some limites. So he has a feed at 7.30pm. Give him another feed at 10.30 - 11pm and then that's it until say 5am. He shouldn't need more food than that if he's eaten normally in the day.

He isn't going to starve Moff, I promise! Worse case scenario is that he has to wait a couple more hours for his bottle - that isn't going to hurt him.

How is the nap thing going? Is he going down in his cot?

Skibunny
xx

[Moffgal]

You speak a lot of sense, Skibunny! naps in cot aren't happening. but if he's not sleeping in there at night, he's not going to do it in the day.

purple lady he's having solids at lunch and dinner and has done for the last few days.

it's totally a habit thing, has to be. he needs to learn how togo to sleep, stay asleep and put himself back to sleep in his cot. i've dug out my babywhisperer book as i think pick up put down may be they way to go here.

dh and i need to read and digest it. i'm going to buy a duvet and pillow, have got a mattress for the bedroom floor. then i think we need to move him into his room and start the hard work.

i can't believe how we've got him into such bad habits.

[Roo]

i can't believe how we've got him into such bad habits.

Don't be so hard on yourselves Some babies are just, unfortunately, BAD sleepers you've tried many things over the months and at the end of the day you're knackered and need some sleep (all of you!) I know that doesn't help or offer any practical advice at all but Adam was/is a bad sleeper so all I can do is sympathise

[Skibunny]

Don't blame yourself! You've been doing a great job and he's only 5 months or so, there's plenty of time to sort things out. And in the early days you need to do whatever you can do to just keep going in terms of sleeping however and feeding whenever. You've had your eureka moment so you can move forward from here. He'll get it in no time I'm sure and will be sleeping like a pro!

Don't beat yourself up. You've been doing what you needed to do. Now it's just time to do something different.

ETA. we found that when we needed to 'fix' the girls sleeping it would be best if one of us took control at night so the other one could get some rest and then the other one would take over in the day time - would you and DH be able to do this? It makes it a million times harder if you're having to do the night-time routine and listen to him crying as well as having to do a normal day afterwards.

Skibunny
xx

[One Sock]

I think in your shoes I would pick a strategy and stick with it (which it sounds like you are doing now), not nec expect it to work straight away and be prepared for it to take a while.

We went for the path of least resistance with R for the first 5 months, so co-slept and let him feed as he wanted in the night, and then did a form of gradual retreat type thing when he got to about 5 months. It did take a while but we stuck at it and it got good results in the end and from about six months to 18 months he slept like an absolute dream in his cot.

Good luck!

[Moffgal]

thanks for the support guys.

I've seen an episode of babywhisperer where there's boy of around 8mths who is similar to Declan, fed to sleep around 10 times a night- ok so maybe a bit 'worse' than Declan!

Within a week he was sleeping in his cot and only waking a couple of times and was easy to resettle using pu/pd.

Dh is going to be working an awful lot of nights soon- Djing at Christmas do's virtually every Thur Fri and Sat night so I want to get it at least partially sorted by then. I've got a couple of weeks before it starts.

I'm sure DH will be agreeable to doing alternate nights Short term pain for long term gain.

[Skibunny]

Just make sure you're looking after yourself. It's so easy to give in if you're completely knackered and at the end of your tether - you need to be mentally and physically prepared so be good to yourself!

Skibunny
xx

[Toosh]

PU/PD worked really well for us. We did it when Amelie was about 10 months, so a little older than Declan but it literally changed our lives!

We're now having issues with Siena, who is waking at 5am every day and is like "MORNING! " whilst I'm like "you are having a laugh " so I completely understand how wearing it is

I'd just say decide on a plan and stick to it (which it sounds like you're doing) but also start it when you're both around so that you can do shifts (which it also sounds like you're going to do). We did PU/PD over a Christmas period when we were both on leave so that we didn't have to worry about getting up for work the next day if it all got a bit messy.

Fingers crossed for you.