What do you do when they just keep getting out of bed?

**Lu Lu** · 04-11-2009, 07:38pm

Up until tonight J was in a phase of getting up once we left the room and then we'd hold the door closed and he'd get back into bed and go to sleep.

Tonight he is constantly up. He is so tired and just keeps crying for his Daddy. DH is up there trying to calm him down but he says he doesn't want to go to bed and has got himself all worked up.

What do we do to get him out of this? I thought the other one was a phase but he doesn't seem to be growing out of that.

Last night he was awake at 4am and just kept getting up. To be honest I am getting a bit sick of it.

Any tips?

**Mrs B** · 04-11-2009, 07:50pm

Seriously? Bribery. When Sol moved into a bed I bought him an Iggle Piggle blanket that he was desperate for, and the first time he got out of bed I threatened to take it away if he carried on doing so. He stopped getting out of bed the minute I carried out the threat, and never got out again. Sounds harsh but worked for us.

**WeeBird** · 04-11-2009, 07:54pm

We did rapid return (56 times in one night

) and a couple of times when one or other of them was hysterical with tiredness I'm afraid we just left them to cry it out as there was nothing we could actually do to help them. It didn't take long for them to be so exhausted they went off to sleep and no ill-effects afterwards.

Hope he drops off soon,

I don't like listening to them cry and am glad I haven't had to endure it too often.

**mummyplus2** · 04-11-2009, 07:57pm

Bribery is good, as long as you follow through.

We just return them constantly, is draining though, but they WILL grow out of it (eventually).

**Moffgal** · 04-11-2009, 08:16pm

Bribery here too. We'd promise him some pennies for his money box if he could stay in bed. But that only worked for us if we talked it all through with him during the day, priming him for that night.

I remember going through this and at one point I decided to leave him to cry. I locked myself in the conservatory where I couldn't hear him and when I checked 15 mins later he was silent.

**dustbin** · 04-11-2009, 08:23pm

We are totally in the same situation Lu Lu - this is turning into a long phase! And not related to moving him to a bed as it is more recent than that although obviously the fact he can get out of bed is the problem. We can't even shut the door as he can open it. Sometimes bargaining works but it is worse if they are over tired as you say. Thankfully tonight he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow! Wish every night could be like that. Our problem is that he can do breath holding if he is really upset and the other week he totally banged his head on the door and tiled floor in the hall because I couldn't catch him in time when he passed out - so although we try and ignore him we need to be on hand from a safety perspective. The annoying thing is he goes to sleep so much more easily on his own than with us in the room most of the time.
Good luck!

**Lu Lu** · 04-11-2009, 08:54pm

I don't think bribery will work as he's a bit young and doesn't get it. Also, he ends up getting more upset and worked up if we take something away so not sure if that would solve anything.

DH had to sit with him until he calmed right down and went to sleep then DH had to sneak out of the room!

It's awful, if we leave him he just gets up and leaves his bedroom.

How exactly does rapid return work? Is it as the name suggests and just keeping putting him back in bed and leaving?

**lazymummy** · 04-11-2009, 08:56pm

I don't know. DS#1 who is 7 FFS is still getting out of bed now..........I can hear him running about up there

**Bluebabe75** · 04-11-2009, 09:18pm

I shut the stairgate and turn the light off... but then when Matthew keeps going out of bed it's more him playing a game to see how far he can push us than anything else.

Typical example from last Friday
1. Comes out of room for a wee (justifiable)
2. Comes out of room for second wee (5 mins later)
3. Comes out of toilet, sees me serving up chips, says 'Mummy, I LOVE chips, are there some for me?
4. Comes out of room again in search of chips and the Simpsons

5. Claims he needs another wee

6. Comes out to ask for another story, at which point we shut the stairgate and switch off the light, he cries for about a minute and then stays in bed.

I think if J is genuinely getting himself in a state it is a lot harder to deal with. We've tended to go for the approach of shutting the stairgate and letting him play for a bit and then settle himself - it's not ideal but works for us.... he spent about six weeks falling asleep on the floor (with duvet and pillow) but now gets into bed when he's ready to sleep.

**tigger71** · 04-11-2009, 09:27pm

I'm afraid I was a horrid mummy and went for the short sharp shock effect the first time Emily tried this - instead of staying with her while she has her bedtime drink (as she likes me to do), I carried her back to bed, turned the light off, closed the door and left the room. She's never tried it since......