If you had a screamer/difficult newborn as a subesquent baby?

**Princess Fiona** · 18-10-2009, 11:32am

How did you juggle the other children??

I'm finding it very difficult atm to have time for ANY of them properly tbh, the house is a tip but i've come to the conclusion that that will just have to wait til i get time to do it. We're living on scraps and leftovers as DH tends to do a bit of cooking every few days, i just can't find the time to get into the kitchen, i even made Lucy have a school dinner Friday, knowing she'd probably not touch it (luckily she ate the lot) because i couldn't even find hte time to do her sandwiches

I am feeling very guilty at having to tell Lucy "not now" or "in a minute" and Max is getting increasingly clingy (which he's never been) because i spend so much time dealing with the baby, he's also not eating as well as he usually does and i'm assuming he's playing with his food to get my attention

However if i just leave the baby to deal with either of the other 2, i feel bad because he's obviously crying for a reason and he just screams and screams

Atm for example, i may be on here but the older 2 are watching cartoons and the baby is nodding/screaming occasionally and i'm bouncing him in the bouncy chair, its only a matter of time because he starts up fully and i have to get him out again. Lucy wants to practice her reading book, but i can't concentrate on her reading whilst i'm watching what Max is doing and dealing with the baby.

DH has been out working most of the weekend, we've started up 24hr emergency call outs as we're desparate for money and he's going out all the time on odd jobs for a pittance but we can't turn down the work

so he's not much help atm.

I haven't even thought about what to do for dinner today

i'll probably have a sandwich

and i'll do the kids a tin of soup

god how bad is that for a Sunday lunch

**Chocolate Lips** · 18-10-2009, 11:35am

I left him to cry and scream

I had no other choice, it went on for near 18 months, life needed to carry on.

So he cried - in his swing, in his bed, on the floor - wherever, he was never going to come to any harm as the HV pointed out to me, and he's not been psychologically damaged from it.

ETA He'd also cry and scream even if I was holding or cuddling him.

**Spleep** · 18-10-2009, 11:35am

Nothing constructive to add PF - I'm only mummy to a brown fur-baby so can't be of any help! But I wanted to send you a

- it does sound like such a juggling act.

Sorry - a useless reply.....but intended as a supportive one.

**Princess Fiona** · 18-10-2009, 11:42am

Thanks Spleep

CL thats what DH keeps saying, just leave him to scream, but i feel so bad, he's so tiny and i'm not 100% what the problem is yet, he COULD be in agony for all i know. He doesn't necessarily stop crying if cuddled either.

I've just bought another swing from ebay (because Max still uses the other one

) so hopefully once i've got that it may help as atm i'm having to constantly bounce him to keep him quiet.

**Franny** · 18-10-2009, 05:44pm

I found it hard when J went through stages of crying for no apparent reason and I had to just leave him to it because R still had to be fed etc but I hated doing it because the noise just did my head in. I think J might have been a bit colicky because rubbing his tummy helped and head stroking and having him on my lap lying on his front. WIth J, though, I think the main problem could have been hunger as he was a different baby after weaning.

**sparkliness** · 18-10-2009, 05:49pm

What about a sling?

Why not write down a plan of what you want to achieve in the day, e.g.

Reading with Lucy
Playing with Max
Getting a casserole in the oven

Then plan where the baby is going to be - could your DH take him for a push in the pram, or plan if he's in the chair or swing or napping.

Say you need 10 mins for each activity, even if the baby is crying, it's only for a limited amount of time.

**Shoppie** · 18-10-2009, 06:07pm

Honestly, they kind of took t in turns, and B was let to scream a lot from a young age

I don't honestly see what else you can do if tey scream and scream?

I managed to get the hang of BFing in the sling, so usually when he was feeding I'd play with Teddy. TBH, even now he screams a lot (though I think it is tiredness no with him having started nursery in Sept) and I still have to leave him for Teddy quite regularly

Like CL said, he kept crying even when I held him, we went hrough a million and one 'reasons' for it of the reflux/ colic variety but I think he is/ was jut a screamy child

ETA - he has been screaming for the last 40 mins and have tried distracting him, giving himcuddles and nothing makes any difference and he is 12 months! I know he wants to go to bed but if he goes this early he will just have us up outrageously early!

**Candlelight** · 18-10-2009, 06:13pm

That's a good plan for the swing - Oliver honestly practically lived in his - it was the only way of getting anything done

You will get through this

I don't think there is anything particularly the matter with screaming babies - some of them do just scream ALOT and it is so difficult

**Lady M's Mummy** · 18-10-2009, 06:13pm

I know this may be controversial but instead of posting on here during the day why not spend the time with the pther kids?

I also agree that letting the baby scream, if you have exhausted all the options of what could be wrong with him, is ok.

Puffy · 18-10-2009, 06:16pm

Originally Posted by Lady M's Mummy

I know this may be controversial but instead of posting on here during the day why not spend the time with the pther kids?

I also agree that letting the baby scream, if you have exhausted all the options of what could be wrong with him, is ok.

100% Wss