Ante-natal depression - poss sensitive

[SaintSarah]

So, I've been kidding myself that I am ok but simply I'm not. I am feeling lower and lower with each day that passes and I am starting to feel really frightened.

I've recently had a very big falling out with my brother, which has caused rippling effects throughout the whole family - I think my relationship with my brother is over, we've never been close but we both said some things which can not be taken back, he's deleted me from facebook and apparently told my Mother he considers himself to be an only child now.

Aside from that, I cry constantly - I am stressed, angry, worried about the future, worried about having 2 children, worried about coping and utterly petrified about my PND coming back, which I think tbh it already is.

I have a Doctors appt on Monday to discuss how I am feeling, I sense he will put me back onto the Fluoxetine that I was on before, but then I will feel like a failure, a pregnant mother on prozac - well done me.

I have a wonderful, supportive husband, the most wonderful child who is simply a joy to be around, so why do I feel so miserable all the time? I had my car keys in my hand this morning and deciided I was just going to drive somewhere, away from here that my family, husband and son would be better off without me, scary thought. Obviously I havent left and never would but I've scared myself that I am even thinking along those lines. DH is off work next week so we have a nice family week planned, but I worry I'll just put on a brave face and then when he is back at work I'll feel like this again.

I'm not sure why I've posted this - just wanted to write it down I guess.

[parkejm]

it is far from failure to see the dr and seek help. I hope you get the support you need from the Dr and that you feel much better very soon.

[Miss P]

You're absolutely NOT a failure, you're an incredibly strong woman who realises there is a problem that she needs professional help to deal with

Please be kind to yourself at this really stressful time and I hope the doctor can give you the right help and support you need

[irislili]

you are so not a failure, you've had a hard time of it lately.
i was given this link when i was pg with murray

http://dipcare.org/default.aspx

[WoollyNewty]

I have a wonderful, supportive husband, the most wonderful child who is simply a joy to be around, so why do I feel so miserable all the time?

Because you're not well. The chemistry in your brain is all over the shop and, even if you won the lottery tomorrow, you wouldn't be able to think straight, you wouldn't get pleasure out of things that normally would kick start your brain into producing 'nice' feelings etc etc. You feel guilty because you feel pressured to 'feel happy' but you're not enjoying your life because you are not well - it is NOT because you are a miserable git , ungrateful, spoilt, lazy or any of the horrid thoughts that must come into your head.

As for the prozac - asking for help doesn't make you a 'failure'. You ask what type of mother that makes? I'd say a bloody sensible and BRAVE one. Not burying her head in the sand while things get worse and worse and everyone suffers.

They know thing depression in pregnancy is actually probably more common than postnatal depression so you are FAR from alone.

You are going through a lot with your family too - that is pretty major stuff - and it sounds like you need someone to pour your heart out too and get the pressure out of your brain (if that makes sense). You can always talk to us but please - don't be afraid to ask for and accept help.

You are a very strong lady.

[mrsdunny207]

Gosh hon, needing medication is NOT being a failure at all. Your DH and son need you (as does bump).

Take care .

[Tgirl]

The fact that you recognise you have a problem and are going to do something about it shows what a good mother you are...hope you start feeling better soon x

[Athers]

Recognising that you need help is not a sign of weakness but a sign of great strength. I hope that you are feeling better soon and we are all here to listen when and if you need to chat x

[sunshine]

Saint Sarah I have been feeling exactly the same

I have been getting more and more anxious, and like you got to the stage last week when I decided that I had to leave home as I couldnt cope with Oh and DD anymore

I have been referred to our perinatal mental health team and have been diagnosed with ante-natal depression. If I have another episode last week then they want to refer me to the Community Psychiatric Nurse to keep on eye on me.

Like you, I've also had family problems and last weekend was the first time I had seen my mother sonce I told her I was pg 12 weeks ago. I know this contributed to how stressed I was feeling.

Every day I feel low, anxious and I just cant believe that this baby will make it out alive.

The midwife I saw yesterday did put my mind at rest. She didnt seem in a rush to suggest anti-ds, but what she did say was

-rest as much as you can
-try and get some quality time with your OH, so you can be a couple and not just a pregnant lump!
-eat well, dont stop eating or eating crap as you will get more and more run down and depressed
-get fresh air and sunlight as much as you can
-dont be afraid to have a good old cry and let your feelings out
-dont try and be perfect and have an immaculate house etc. Just let yourself be.
-relaxation exercises: I have bought a natal hypnotherapy cd and this is good for calming me down when I am feeling horrible.

She has also told me that I need to be quite pragmatic about looking after the baby when it comes. If I bottlefeed then OH can help me, I will get more sleep and can go straight onto anti-ds if I need to after the birth. I did want to breastfeed but actually I'm going to be a better Mummy and have a happier baby if they dont have to cart me off to a psychiatric unit!

I have also been recommended a book called Ante-natal and post-natal depression by Siobhan Curham. I bought this off amazon and had a quick read last night. It seems very good.

There is also a website called http://www.depression-in-pregnancy.org.uk/


Sorry if I have bamboozled you with information, this is very fresh in my mind. If you want to chat by PM, please do as it can feel very lonely. I know that I of all people should be so grateful fo rthe fact I am pregnant and this is not the pregnancy I had hoped for at all

[sunshine]

Just thought of another thing- statistics show that 10% of women suffer from this, that is the same amount as PND, but it is less well documented and publicised. Also, if you have AND, it does not mean that you will go on to have PND.