Mum needs a new knee
So, I took my mum to the doctor today, the specialist who operated on my knee after an accident and he thought it would help for about 6 to 9 months. That was back in 1998 and my knee is still fine.
Bugger me, he recognised me as well and so I told him that was the reason I wanted him to do my mums knee.
Anyway, mum is all upset, mostly scared. She lost her mum when she was 15 to a blood clot after having appendix out. That was back in 1949...but obviously she'll never forget it even though we do have more advanced ways today to prevent this.
My mum has never had surgery before. She's worried she'll die. She's 72, has diabetes and is overweight and blood pressure, all controlled on medication. Essentially, she is in much better health than other patients I have seen/looked after who have had knee replacements.
I'm pushing her to have this operation after I come back from holidays in November (because I won't cancel them as it's not life threatening) and am going to take time off work to make sure my dad (Mr short term memory loss and lazy bugger award of 2006) and sister (mentally ill) are okey when she is in hospital. Dad wants her to do it to but in all honesty, he doesn't know whats involved and the risks. He's not worried because they can afford to pay for it so won't have to wait, so for him, all is well.
Plus, because I knw she is going to go home and be naughty and start looking ater them again, I told her and dad she wasn't coming home after the operation but staying at my place for a week. I'm closer to better medical facilities as well if there is a problem...otherwise, they will have to use their local public hospital which is NOT an option as it's a crappy dangerous place. I won't let her go there. Also, I can look after her wound and take her to physio ect, do the blood thinning injections to prevent clots...discussed this with the doc who is more than happy with me doing that so she can leave 4 to 5 days earlier, saves money.
She'll have to wait if she goes public, this is better and quicker.
Now, she is worried because she thinks my brother and SIL won't have anyone to look after their kids. I told her they needed to start taking responsibility and sort their shit out. They get her to babysit so they can go out to rock concerts, or SIL will get mum to babysit (kids 5 and 2.5 years old) so she can go out with her mum and sister (who has 3 kids anyway) ect. They both work because they are buying a second house, thats the only reason they both need to work. Dad agrees with me.
Also told mum when she goes home she won't be able to babysit for a few months, she'll need to take it easy. One fall and she'll stuff the new knee up. However, I KNOW my brother and SIL, they will still ask.
So here is my questions I need advice on:
1. Do I ring my brother and tell him to get his shit together and not ring mum if he needs a babysitter (who can't say no). Obviously, I'll be more polite...but thats not my strong point. I say what I mean, no beating around the bush for me but I can see it causing trouble. Also, do I tell him now or closer to the time to avoid conflict. I figured last minute would be good as he'd not be able to argue back.
2. What if something goes wrong and I have pushed her into doing this as she can't walk. I'll feel guilty for the rest of my life if she dies. Has anyone been in this situation? She can't do much now, is in constant pain and not enjoying her retirement like she should. I've seen heaps of knees done on much higher risk people but you just never know do you?