What to do when they WON'T have a bath?

**scatterbrain** · 08-05-2009, 09:42pm

I really don't understand it. She used to love baths. Ever since she could sit up Abigail & Elena would have baths together. But since Xmas she refuses point blank to have a bath. She's happy to stand by the bath when I'm in there, but the minute she's picked up to go in she starts screaming & thrashing around

. It's just too dangerous having her in there. I've been strip washing her & occasionally manage to take her in the shower for a quick slooshing down without too many bruises (she pinches & claws to get away) or tantrums. Oh & she will 'tolerate' the swimming pool so long as she's got a vice like grip on me at all times, but never relaxes enough to enjoy it so we've stopped going

.

I really don't understand why she suddenly seems scared of the bath. It doesn't even have to have any water in it. As soon as she thinks she's going in she goes histerical.

I can't not bath her - she has loads of hair & sweats a lot at night so ends up pretty minging after a week

. I can't help thinking that forcing her to have a bath/shower whilst screaming is just going to make her worse, though.

Anyway, any ideas how I can get her to relax in water? Does anyone else have this problem & how do you get round it?

Scatterbrain

**Princess Fiona** · 08-05-2009, 09:47pm

Ooh gosh i don't know, sounds awful

Lucy went through a phase where she was convinced the water was "melting her bum"

and refused to sit down in the bath so i was having to literally chuck water over her quickly and whisk her out of the bath before she kicked off, otherwise all hell would break loose.

She just grew out of it tbh, i don't know what triggered it, maybe something she heard of someone else, watched something on the tv??

I wonder if you could TRY and get to the bottom of WHY she's scared, if she won't speak to you about it could you get Elena to coax it out of her perhaps.

Will she play with water, say a bowl of washing up or whatever?? Maybe fill the bath up a little one afternoon, and put some toys in and let them play over the side of the bath, so she knows she's not having to get in, but just see how she is with that. Then you could maybe gradually get her to strip off, and see if you could convince her to get in and play iyswim??

Sorry if thats a pap suggestion?

**IncyWincySpider** · 08-05-2009, 09:55pm

Can you go in the bath with her? S went through a phase for months after she slipped and got her face wet at about 18months. The only way we could get her in the bath was for one of us to go in at the same time, we also stopped the daily baths and cut them right back. She eventually got her confidence back.

**cheeky_biscuit** · 08-05-2009, 09:57pm

We had a phase like that too, thankfully she's over it, it lasted about 2-3 months, although hair washing is still a nightmare. Can you or your Dh get in with her? We now bath her twice a week, hair wash once a week- she has thick hair that I flannel clean inbetween washes. Putting makka pakka on the ceiling helps to encourage her to have chin up for hair wash- maybe a poster on the ceiling would help?

**scatterbrain** · 08-05-2009, 09:57pm

Yes, she's happy to play over the side of the bath when I'm in it. She just won't go in it or even stand in it. I've tried getting in with her & she'll cling on to me for dear life & just goes ballistic if the water touches her feet. She we sit there with her above the water line & me trying to flannel her down. Sort of defeats the object.

I think I might try putting a little paddling pool in the living room to see if she'll play around that & hopefully she'll get used to the water enough to go in it???. At the moment she just gets in to such a state that she can't be calmed down with singing/hugging/toys/games etc & only taking her out & away from the bath works.

Unfortunatly at 17m the only words she can say are poo and duckduck, so not much chance of her telling me why she has a problem with it. I had hoped it was just a phase, but it's been 4 months now & she's still just as bad.

Scatterbrain

**WeeBird** · 08-05-2009, 09:58pm

Is she able to tell you why she doesn't like it? I like PFs suggesiton of making a game out of it to build her confidence - will she bath her dollies?

Ah X-posted there

Paddling pool sounds like a fab idea

**cheeky_biscuit** · 08-05-2009, 09:59pm

Seperate bath times helped but then emma triggered hollys fear by putting the hydromassage on

she hated it when I was pg with her.

**scatterbrain** · 08-05-2009, 10:09pm

I do wonder if maybe Elena got a bit too boisterous with her. I can't remember any specific incident, but something must have happened

.

She is the same whether I'm in with her or whether Elena is in there too.

I wonder if I should try taking her in the bath more regularly - 2 or three times a week, but not actually bath/hairwash her. This might get her more used to it I guess. Might make it worse, though

.