If you and your OH spilt up....

**Puddser** · 06-09-2006, 03:09pm

...God forbid I mean but if you did could you cope on your own? Financially I mean?

We got one of those chain emails in work the other day about what all women should be able to do and one of them was cope on their own if they had to. It got me thinking. If we spilt up tomorrow (I shudder at the thought) could I cope alone? Would I be able to live somewhere on my own or would I have to move back home? We have no kids so it would just be me. I certainly couldn't cope with the mortgage on my own so the house would have to be sold. With my share of the profit I still could not afford to buy anywhere but could rent I suppose but I would struggle big time.

Probably sounds like a very morbid topic of conversation but its something I am interested in hearing others views on. I would like to think that no matter what happened I can be independent and cope on my own but I know I would struggle. I guess its something my Mam used to say to me as well; always be able to cope on your own. She was never able to leave my Dad because she had no income of her own

My OH is self employed so he would be worse off if we ever spilt up. Not that I ever want it to happen

Views anyone?

**Twistarella** · 06-09-2006, 03:14pm

I would totally be able to cope financially. I lived on my own for 10 years before I met my DH and we moved in together so I know I can do it. I'm fiercely independent and self-sufficient, even now!

Coping emotionally would be my problem area if we split up. He's most certainly my emotional crutch and helps me see things very clearly, and I'd miss him enormously!

**book_lover** · 06-09-2006, 03:14pm

I would hope my DH and I would never split up but you just never ever know. I know fine well that with my current income, if I were a single Mum I couldn't afford to carry on working - I would have to become a SAHM. There was a time that I wanted that more than anything, but I HAD to go back to work (we couldn't afford it) and now I'm glad I did, and that I have this for me. I can imagine it would be even more important to me to have a career (both in terms of "self" and in terms of being secure for the future etc.) if I were single. So that would suck, big time.

xxx

**clementinexyz** · 06-09-2006, 03:19pm

Perish the thought but yes I think I could cope financially. Actually this something I occasionally think about.

ATM we have no kids so I'd up my hours at work (I only work 4 days a week atm) and that should just allow me to cover my mortgage and bills. I'd probably get a lodger as our house has 3 bedrooms and the extra cash and company would be handy.

If we had kids I would up sticks and move near my mum who lives 80 miles away, then I could buy a cheaper property and mum could look after bubs whilst I was at work. It's a bit worrying that I've got it all planned

**Vickytoria** · 06-09-2006, 03:20pm

I couldnt afford to carry on living in the house we do now, but appart from that i am confident i could cope financially.
Actually iv got 2 loans ending next month so i might stick it out until they were paid off and il be £150 a month better off!

**Damsella** · 06-09-2006, 03:20pm

No, I couldn't. Not without OH's support.

But equally, he couldn't cope on his own if I left him with a toddler. He would need to pay for help.

**Puddser** · 06-09-2006, 03:33pm

I definitely couldn't cope emotionally without him, he is my rock BUT if I fell apart emotionally I would still like to think that I could live on my own and not have to fall back on my parents. Maybe its a little security mechanism (sp) I have in the back of my mind that if my world did fall apart tomorrow and we spilt then I could still live in a nice place, still have my cats and basically start again. If I thought that if we spilt up and not only would I loose my soul mate but would have to move back home and really start again then I would really, really fall apart.

I know this is a totally "if" scenario but maybe its not such a bad thing to think that you could survive alone if the worst happened.

**clementinexyz** · 06-09-2006, 03:39pm

I don't really have a choice about going back to my parents. My mum doesn't have a spare room and as i said she's 80 miles away so I'd have to change my job if I went there.

And my dad lives on a boat

I've been through a seperation before and I ended up sleeping on my sister's sofa for 6 weeks, it was awful. I never want to be in such a position again and fortunately now my job is secure (touch wood) and much better paid than it was at that time so hopefully I won't have to be.

Obviously I hope I won't be because DH and I are very happily married as well

.

**Puddser** · 06-09-2006, 03:45pm

Originally Posted by clementinexyz

I don't really have a choice about going back to my parents. My mum doesn't have a spare room and as i said she's 80 miles away so I'd have to change my job if I went there.

And my dad lives on a boat

I've been through a seperation before and I ended up sleeping on my sister's sofa for 6 weeks, it was awful. I never want to be in such a position again and fortunately now my job is secure (touch wood) and much better paid than it was at that time so hopefully I won't have to be.

Obviously I hope I won't be because DH and I are very happily married as well

.

We are too clementinexyz. Well we are not married yet but are very happy none the less

I'm not trying to upset anyone but I suppose for me its the can I make it on my own scenario? I've never lived alone, I moved straight out of my parents house into OH's Mam's house until our apartment was ready. I suppose I'm just thinking about if we spilt would I have to do a u-turn and move back home or could I stand on my own two feet. I'm sure I could if I had to. In fact I would hate to think that I couldn't. I plan to be with my OH forever but I always want to have a plan 'B' just in case