Hints and tips for introducing child number one to child number 2

**Annie Goolahey** · 24-02-2009, 12:50pm

Joseph is VERY excited about his baby sister - ridiculously so. But I have also noticed a slight deterioration in his behaviour - more tantrums etc - lately and I think that while he is excited about madam arriving he is also feeling a little insecure.

I want to do things just perfectly when she is born. He has already been told a jillion times he is the most important visitor. He will be his baby sister's big hero and mummy's helper. I've assured him and we will still have just mummy and Joseph time - where daddy will mind the baby and I'll take him out for an icecream or whatever - and we'll still snuggle watching our fave programmes on a Saturday night.

We are planning to get him a present from the baby and I've said to him he will have the job - if he wants it - of introducing all visitors to the baby.

Any other hints and tips?

**Hellina** · 24-02-2009, 12:53pm

i just made sure that when he first came to meet his sister that my arms were free to hug him first, i think she was either in her cot or someone else had her.
We got him a T shirt that said "i'm the big brother" to werar to hospital when he first came and he was very proud and showing all the nurses!

**Annie Goolahey** · 24-02-2009, 12:58pm

We got him a badge saying "big brother" (about £1.50 in Matalan).

I'm hoping for warning before he visits so his sister can be "dumped" in her cot, but if she is in my arms I'll be handing her right over so I can cuddle him.

Although with a new baby to moon over I'll prob be as interesting to him as a sack of spuds.

**Hellina** · 24-02-2009, 01:02pm

matt was pretty disinterested on the day, but he hadn't really been around tiny babies and was very underwhelmed by her just lying there doing nothing!

J has more experience with his little cousin so he knows what to expect from her

**myzzterri** · 24-02-2009, 01:17pm

we've never bothered with the present from the baby thing

I've just made sure there were plenty of cuddles for the older ones & all visitors were under order to pay attention to the older ones first before seeing the new baby.....

Each time, I've also ensured that I've kept routines the same as much as possible....

**spritzer** · 24-02-2009, 01:23pm

Yup, good idea not to be holding her when he comes in so he can have the full mummy cuddle.

If you are having the baby in hospital the best pressie we found was a doctor's kit - they still play with it all the time now - ELC do a great one.

Lots of attention for him and let him introduce the baby to visitors. It's OK for him to touch her and hold her but try and not change his routines too much and make sure there's plenty of room and time for over-excited big brother behaviour!

**Monkey Chops** · 24-02-2009, 01:45pm

Jack was totally uninterested in Joe for weeks (in fact, DH posted a vid of both of them when he did my birth announcement that shows Jack having to be coaxed into even agreeing he had a baby brother

)

We've made a point of speaking to him about "his baby brother" and getting him to help with bathtime and fetching nappies and stuff. Oh and he's obsessed with watching me clean Joe's poo! He loves bringing nappies to the bin too, but only if I do a big "Eeew, stinky poo! Will you get rid of Joe's stinky poo?" show (which I do to make him feel involved and important iyswim).

Lots of attention is the main thing I think and lots of cuddles too. Jack totally adores Joe now and I've found him a few times trying to give him his dummy/stroke his cheek when he cries

**donna-j** · 24-02-2009, 01:49pm

Thomas came with OH to pick us up from hospital. I was in for three nights and he stayed with Mum during that time so that he didn't have to come and visit then leave me again. I did howl when I saw him toddling up the ward though as I had missed him - maybe not the best move

**Anne** · 24-02-2009, 01:57pm

Much as the others have said, keep his routines the same and make sure he introduces people to his new sister IF he wants. The novelty worn off very quickly with ds1 as dd couldnt play ball or cars, so lost interest.

We also found people bringing the baby presents was a bit of an issue so asked people if we could open it later when he wasnt in the room.

**Mrs B** · 24-02-2009, 02:03pm

Don't be laying down on your hospital bed having a dressing changed when he comes in.

Sol was very excited too, but quickly realised that newborns are boring and doesn't pay her much attention tbh. He did get a pressie from her but I don't think it would have mattered if he didn't; grandma and everyone else has totally spoilt him. He seems to have had more pressies than her!

I think the first meeting isn't as important as we imagine it to be - certainly my recent experience although J is so much older than Sol. Just keep up with his usual routine and he'll be fine.