Larger age gaps...

**S-J** · 19-02-2009, 10:48am

Anyone? I see so many with small age gaps and people also think its weird how DH and I dont have another yet

If I had a pound for eveyone who asked Id be doing quite well now

We are *hoping* in a perfect world to have another LO next September time, so 4.5 year age gap. ie to coincide when Jack starts school!

Anyone else deliberatly waited/waiting to ttc so first child is older? Or had it work out with a 4year + age gap. Tell me Im not alone!!

**hazelnut** · 19-02-2009, 10:54am

we have a 5yr 11 month age gap, not totally planned but we didnt properly TTC until he was 5 for our own personal reasons other than age gap reasons.

the gap is fine, ds plays with DD and vice versa, they get along great, they only thing we have noticed that if we want to do certain things as a family its tricky because o the age gap etc but its very minor thing and we a re glad that we wiated so lonog

**Mrs B** · 19-02-2009, 10:59am

There's nearly 7 years between me and my youngest sister, and whilst we didn't play a lot together as kids due to the age gap we're incredibly close now.

**Peridot** · 19-02-2009, 11:04am

My close mummy friend has a DD Thomas's age and a DD who is 5 years older and she really loves the age gap

she says it has been great because her eldest was at school for the majority of the day so shegot to spend lots of time with DD2 without DD1 being jealous etc and DD1 has been really involved with everything which she has loved.
She says the only downside is that DD1 does a lot of after school activitie, ballet, brownies etc. and she has felt sorry for DD2 having to be taken to them all but now DD2 is 3 she is joining them too !
I think it must be getting more common to do what you are doing as a lot of people just can't afford day care for 2 LO's, we certainly couldn't!

**Suzi.Q** · 19-02-2009, 11:06am

There's 4.5 years between me and my sister because my parents simply couldn't afford to have a smaller age gap.

**Tgirl** · 19-02-2009, 11:09am

There is almost three years between my two..which isnt a very large age gap but is certainly not small...i find it great..in the mornings i can give jack his breakfast and sophia will get her bowl out and pour her rice crispies and get a spoon etc and of course she takes herself off to the toilet and can amuse herself with little games...she is currently in playschool while jack is in bed

i am all for leaving a bit of a gap between kids

**ditab** · 19-02-2009, 11:12am

Meeeee! I'm totally planning a bigger age gap and am so

over all the "when are you having another?" type comments

A bigger age gap will work much better for us and our family - personally, I want to stretch the baby years out as long as possible but I know this is not the case for many people

Obviously, we have yet to conceive said second child

so I don't have any practical advice. However, I have 2 sets of 3 nieces age 2.5, 4.5 and 6.5/7 (are you following that? 2 different SILs

) and I've observed the way the oldest ones interact with the youngest ones and it's always been far less

than the way they interacted with the middle child when they were that age - if that makes any sense at all. What I'm saying is that I think 4/4.5 years old is a good age to become an older brother or sister. You obviously have the problems of the older child starting school right at the same time as a new baby is introduced but I'm positive that can be handled easily enough. And being on maternity leave for a year when your first child starts school can only be a help, too.

But this is just my personal opinion and is in no way a comment on the choices of others to have children with very small age gaps. It's just about what works for your family

And obviously some people aren't able to choose the length of the gap between babies

***kate*** · 19-02-2009, 11:17am

at the moment, my nearly 3 yr old and nearly 12 year old are screaming at each other over a Nintendo DS. I should go and sort it out but I thought I'd post about my experience of a large age gap........

Seriously though, it can be hard when the elder child wants to do their own thing and the younger child can't come along. You either end up looking for a babysitter (which is fab if there's someone willing and able) or the elder child misses out. On the bright side once the older one is at school, the younger child has one to one attention and is effectively an only child for a large part of the time - with the benefits a sibling brings too.

I've done both ways and ok, I did prefer a smaller age gap (just easier for our family IMO), but there's pros and cons to both ways. I suppose what matters is that you love both the kids - you can't go far wrong with that!

**S-J** · 19-02-2009, 11:32am

And obviously some people aren't able to choose the length of the gap between babies

No,

and obviously Ive no idea how things will pan out for me.

Glad Im not alone

I think it must be getting more common to do what you are doing as a lot of people just can't afford day care for 2 LO's, we certainly couldn't!

This is one of the reasons we have to wait, that and Jacks bad sleeping....!

How old is your son now Dita, a bit older than Jack I think? We hope to start ttc October time