Am I being really selfish?

[Rez]

The title says it all really, I just wanted some opinions.

I get on quite well with my sister in law and this weekend we had arranged to take the kids to the beach but she rang me last week and cancelled. She wanted to go on a pampering weekend as she was due to be 36 weeks pregnant and the person she was going with couldn't make any other dates. Fair enough I thought. It worked out quite well as DH's older daughter will be on holiday and it means for the first time in months we have a weekend to ourselves. I had also arranged to see her next weekend as well.

Anyway, a week ago she gave birth prematurely. Luckily, baby is fine but will spend 2 or 3 weeks in hospital. They now want us to cancel the plans we've made and go across and see them. We won't get to see the baby and will barely get to see her as she's spending most of her time at the hospital. I think they want us to go across mainly because BiL is bored out of his brain being on his own with their older son.

I have said I can't cancel our plans now and arranged to see them next weekend as planned but I'm now getting the guilt trip as apparently family have made no effort. I do feel guilty but it's my birthday this weekend and we have nice things planned and time on our own is so rare it's precious.

Well done if you got this far, should I go?

[Lois Lane]

Honestly? Well if you ARE being selfish then so am I as I wouldn't cancel my plans Purely because time alone is so rare and so precious that I couldn't bear to.

As you say, baby is fine and Mum is fine and if you can't see much of them anyway then it makes more sense to go when you can see them.

[Micah]

I wouldn't...

Like you weekends to ourselves are rare. If you were going to see new baby/mum I might think about it.

I would just arrange to go when you can see all the family.

[Damsella]

Personally, yes I would cancel my plans and go. To give birth that early must be very traumatic and I would want to go and support them in whatever way I could, especially since they have specifically asked. Maybe by giving your DH's brother a break you would be being very helpful.

[Rez]

Thanks for your replies.

I rang her last night and had a good chat and she was absolutely fine about it. She said she didn't expect me to cancel anything as she was the one who messed me around in the first place, only if we were at a loose end and she'll see us next week.

I still feel a little bit guilty but I'll make sure I take some really great presents!