Help re hospital visit/sibling rivalry/febrile convulsions

**LME** · 15-02-2008, 03:55pm

i was just wondering if anyone could help dealing with bad behaviour when you know the reason and you know you aren't giving one of your children 100% or even the 50% they're entitled to....

Daniel had a fit on wed, we went to hospital and stayed till late last night. While we've been away Katie has
(i've been told) been an angel, but she has also been spoilt rotten.

Now we're back and she is being awful - i know it is because she isn't getting me properly still so worried about D, and that also she has decided she quite likes being the only one again. any ideas on dealing with it welcome. i'll try giving her some time when it is just me but not sure how successful it will be.

the jealousy seems to be manifesting itself in a sort of issues`with mummy way. she tells D she loves him and missed him, she wants to kiss and cuddle him a lot. but she won't kiss me or say those things to me. i've told her what a good girl she`was and that i was so proud of her and that helps. i feel awful - maybe reading this she thinks i abandoned her?

also is there anyone out there with a little one who only ever had one febrile convulsion? and ways to deal with the total panic i currentlt feel at the thought of being apart from him much appreciated.

i just us to be back to normal. i love them both so much am i'm so worried about them both and how i'm handling the situation. i'm totally worn out emotionally and physically.

**cheeky_biscuit** · 15-02-2008, 03:57pm

its early days, I'm sure she'll come round.
Sorry no personal experience of it, but my friends LO only ever had 1 febrile convulsion - she's 3 now so I think its unlikely she'll have another.

**wickenwoman** · 15-02-2008, 05:03pm

Both of mine only had one febrile convulsion each. I rememebr being told it wasn't so much about how high their temps were it was to do with how quickly they went up, so keeping a check on their temps and giving them calpol/keeping them cool was advised back then.

I also had several emergency admissions with both kids and the one who was left behind often found it very difficult, not only were they frightened by what happened to their sibling (we had afew 'blues and twos' ambulance rides) but they missed their mummy and sometimes they thought I'd gone away to punish them for some wrong-doing (strange things go through little childrens minds sometimes) as often I'd been tetchy before the hospital admission because I was worried about how poorly their brother/sister was.

Try to devote some extra 'mummy time' to her if you can, even if it's only five minutes at bedtime reading an extra story. She probably just needs reassurance that you do love her and that it was nothing she did that made you go away.

Debs

**Mrs B** · 15-02-2008, 05:34pm

Hope D is better now. Not nearly the same situation, but I was quite ill earlier this week and couldn't even look after LO at all, my mum and DH did literally everything for a few days. He then spent the next couple of days virtually ignoring me; now it was either because he was "paying me back" for ignoring him, or he was thrown by seeing me comatose for a while. Either way, today he's back to normal, seems to have totally forgotten about it. I think Katie will forget too, just give her a few days to adjust again. Hope it passes quickly.

**Petrus** · 15-02-2008, 06:32pm

Just a quickie but so you know you aren't alone re the febrile convulsions, joshua had/has them, they are scary as hell but its gets easier.

Hope your ok.

**Candlelight** · 15-02-2008, 07:16pm

Oliver had febrile convulsions, his first at 8 months and his last was November 2006. Every time he has got a soaring temperature, got ridiculously dehydrated so needed fluid pumped into his vein and then a drip, and fitted. You aren't alone, it is so bloody scary

I know lots of people whose little one has only had 1 convulsion

Oliver hasn't had one for over a year. He recently been really ill with slapped cheek virus and had a temperature and I was terrified but it didn't happen

**LME** · 15-02-2008, 10:12pm

Thank you for the hand holding and sharing experiences.

Thankfully Katie's behaviour has already improved. I've given her lots of cuddles, told her how much I love her and how proud I am with how good she has been. I've also told her how much I missed her. I've spent some time with just her too.

I'm still so scared about Daniel. I completely fell apart on the way back from the hospital yesterday. I'm so worried it is going to happen again while I'm not near him and I won't know. I'm worried that he is more ill than "just a viral infection". I know I'm being silly, but it just seems difficult to be rational about it. Hearing other people have been through it and managed helps.

Thank you.

**Anne** · 15-02-2008, 10:35pm

Yep, DD had only one conculsion at about 18 months due to a soaring temp. Scared the crap out of me. I knew it was because she was raging hot and took her to the docs next day. I got such a bollocking from the doctor who said I should have rung an ambulance.

Anyway she was fine and never had one since.

Hope things settle down for you and family life returns to normal.