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  • Flower Girls

    This might seem a strange question, but haven't been to many weddings before so not sure what is the "done"thing here

    Our girls have been asked to be flowers girls at one of DH's cousin's wedding. Obviously they will be very excited about this, but the cousin has told us in great detail what dresses the girls need to wear and we are expected to pay for dresses, sashes and flowers, is this normal? We're saving to move house at the moment so can't really afford to fork out for this although but don't want the girls to miss out. If they were going as normal guests they have really lovely monsoon dresses that they would have worn, so we wouldn't have bought anything specially.

    Maybe I'm being out of line though as we haven't done this before. I haven't mentioned it to any of the family though as I don't want to offend anyone.

  • #2
    Re: Flower Girls

    I didn't expect any of my bridesmaids or flower girls to pay for any of their dresses!

    I paid for dresses, shoes, hair clips and flowers. So pretty much everything except for underwear!!

    Has she showed you what she wants exactly, or has she given you a brief and asked you to find and buy yourself??

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    • #3
      Re: Flower Girls

      I think it's cheeky to ask you to pay for them, double check that they are paying for them. I paid for my flower girls and bridesmaids.

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      • #4
        Re: Flower Girls

        Maybe you could just be straight and say you don't have the spare cash at the mo and suggest the monsoon dresses. I think it's a bit cheeky to ask for you to pay for the flowers though.

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        • #5
          Re: Flower Girls

          If it was my wedding I'd expect to pay and I did for my bridesmaids. However, my DD was a flowergirl for a good friend and we went shopping for the dress together and when we got to the till she said, "you don't mind paying do you?"

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          • #6
            Re: Flower Girls

            Thanks for the replies.

            Yes they have specifically said they expect us to pay for it, and I showed them a picture of the dresses we have but they're the wrong colour (nude not white). They've been very specific about what they want them to wear and I've done a quite scout round some of the more normal shops and can't find anything for under 50 each, so buy the time we add on shoes, tights, cardigans (winter wedding), I can see if costing well over 100 which we just can't afford.

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            • #7
              Re: Flower Girls



              I'm really sorry as it sounds like you really want to let them be flower girls.

              I think you need to sit down with the cousin and let her know your position. If she really wants them to be flower girls she is going to have to pay.

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              • #8
                Re: Flower Girls

                I think you are going to have to be straight with them too.

                Maybe you could offer a compromise: They pay for the dresses, which I imagine could be sold after the event to recoup the cost. You get the cardigans, tights, shoes which a) you might be able to get on the cheaper side and b) could be easily used again for other occasions. ???

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                • #9
                  Re: Flower Girls

                  Originally posted by Jenevieve View Post
                  I think you are going to have to be straight with them too.

                  Maybe you could offer a compromise: They pay for the dresses, which I imagine could be sold after the event to recoup the cost. You get the cardigans, tights, shoes which a) you might be able to get on the cheaper side and b) could be easily used again for other occasions. ???
                  Yes I would be completely happy to do this.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Flower Girls

                    I think if they want them as flower girls to look the part in their photos etc in very specific dresses then they need to add it to their costs. I would expect to pay for the tights and even shoes but def not the dresses

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                    • #11
                      Re: Flower Girls

                      Agree, I paid for bridesmaids too - if they want them to be involved they should at least pay for dresses and compromise with you. Weddings are expensive enough with presents and travel / hotel costs and everything else.

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